Desires of the Heart

Soooooo, I used to have time to blog regularly. Then I started a business. Then I had a baby. Then I went back to work. Then business started picking up. Life became crazy but the whole time, I was working on myself. Not just growing my business but growing as a person. Improving how I manage my time. Improving my relationships. Loving myself more. Not being so hard on myself. Reading more. Meditating. Eating better. I also began to grow out of things. Outgrow relationships. Outgrow activities. You get the point.

Fast forward to today. I have finally fully retired from healthcare to pursue my passion. And, also, allowing what has been chasing me my entire life to catch up to me. You see, I grew up in a salon. I feel like every woman in my family has a cosmetology license, including my mother. I even worked in a salon while in grad school and apprenticed under my mother but never took the exam. What some may see is a woman who started small, business picked up, opportunities are presenting, so I decided to go for it. What people don't know is that this was written. Business is picking up, so I need more space to manufacture. What will that space look like? Eventually, it will be a beauty salon. That's the 2 year plan. All that running from cosmetology has come full circle. LOL!

In college, even though my career path was not clear, I knew I did not want to work beyond the age of 35. At the time, I thought I would work a little bit and then my husband would take care of me. LOL! I mean, my mother is a stay at home mom, why can't I be one too? No one knew this. I never shared it with my husband. Why? Well, life happens. Reality hits you. I assumed that we could not sustain our lifestyle on one salary, so my intention was to stay in healthcare until I was retirement age. While I had reached my career goals by the age of 30, I thought I'd develop new ones for healthcare related advancement in my career. Nope. That's not what happened. Once I mastered my job function, I was looking for a new challenge. This was right around the time when I began my journey in multilevel marketing.

Say what you want about multilevel marketing, but for me, it was an eye opener. I was open minded
and I realized how powerful I really am. I learned about myself. I realized that sitting in a windowless office, tucked away in the corner of a blood bank was not what Jehovah intended for me. I thought that multilevel marketing would be my ticket to a Fancy Free life but it didn't work out that way. Turned out that Fancy Free was my ticket. It had been right under my nose for about 2 years. I started selling the hair product. More and more women were scheduling natural hair consults. Fancy Free business was picking up. 500% growth in my second year of business. Those numbers happened during a year where I was working on a HUGE project at work, pregnant, oh yeah, and had a baby. This all got me thinking. If I grew this much with wishy washy, inconsistent marketing, imagine what I could do if I focused all of my energy on Fancy Free. Endless possibilities. No limits.

So there it was, staring me in my face, my destiny. But how was I going to transition? Our household

budget included my, now half time, salary. Simple. Get out of debt. If we paid off all of our credit cards, we could afford to live off of my husband's salary. Simple. Not easy though. LOL! So we got to work. Scaled back on splurging. We were chopping that debt down, big time. The whole time, my work environment was becoming more miserable. Once my focus shifted from being a Specialist in Blood Bank to growing as a CEO, I no longer wanted to spend time blood banking. I wanted to be building Fancy Free. So EVERYTHING irritated me. It was time to go.

Once we set a date, that's when the magic began. You see, when you begin to walk in your purpose,
the flood gates open and everything works toward helping you receive the desires of your heart. Things lined up in a way that I couldn't have even imagined for myself. I never told my husband I wanted to retire by 35. I kept it close to my heart. Between Jehovah and I. But I was open and flexible. The silence while meditating let Him speak to me. I just listened. Now, here I am at 36 years old and retired. Only one year behind schedule. I mean, the Jews wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, so 1 year isn't so bad.

No, all of our debt isn't completely paid off but we're on our way. No, I don't have a building yet. But the reality is, all of your ducks are never going to line up the way you want them to before you take the "jump". Jehovah wants you to rely on Him and not your own understanding. When we humble ourselves, accept that there a lot of things that we just don't know, and actively seek guidance, things happen, BIG things happen.

What are the desires of your heart? Go after them with all you've got. There is nothing you can't do once you've made up your mind.

Shameless plug alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sine up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.

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That "Ah Ha!" Moment

My life has become so jam packed that I no longer have time to sit down and read. So I consolidate activities. I listen to books while I'm doing activities that I'd normally require music. Exercising, folding laundry, whipping shea, etc. Right now, I'm listening to Russell Simmon's book, Super Rich. He talks about meditation and becoming a business yogi and it has me doing some serious self evaluation. Yes, I am "Fancy". How'd I get that name anyway? To me, I'm just a hippie who is very particular about some things and does not care about most other things. LOL! Where am I going with my business ventures? What direction am I taking my professional life? I do what I do because I'm good at it, not necessarily because I have a burning passion for it.

At 21 years old, I decided that I'd be a blood bank boss. I did the training, got the certifications and BOOM! By 29 years old, I had accomplished that goal. I perfected blood bank bossing by the age of 32 and was ready to move on to another challenge.What's next?

Direct sales. Direct sales is AWESOME SAUCE!!! But only if you're up for a challenge. It requires a hell of a lot of personal growth. Only the strong make it to the other side. The other side being residual income. You also have to inspire that in other people who may not be ready in order to maintain and grow your team, which also maintains and grows your income. What I got out of it? I learned that I am an entrepreneur at heart. I am a creative. As an employee, I need flexibility in order to flourish. I learned that I will see exponential growth and feel success beyond my wildest imagination if I put the same passion and consistency that I put into managing a blood bank behind my own product. My imagination does not have any limitations. EYE have the power to make what I visualize in my head into a reality. The personal development required to be successful in direct sales helps you see that if you can believe it, it can be yours. I visualized my successes in my career. Direct sales got me visualizing what success as "Fancy Free" looks like and it looks like a lot of time in the pool or a beach. Nothing too fancy but definitely free.

The words of "Super Rich" made me realize that I already have it all. I already have it all. I am enjoying the process of becoming. In becoming a business yogi. In becoming a mother. In becoming a wife. Just becoming better all around. I have material success and titles but I know that titles do not define me. As a matter of fact, whenever I'm engaged in a conversation that starts with "So, what do you do?", I usually say I'm a stripper or wet nurse. In my mind, if the first thing you're asking me when we meet is about my line of work and we're not in a work environment, I don't necessarily want to talk to you anyway. In my mind, we ain't got nothing in common. LOL! Now I'm ready to take this life to another level by being even more focused and operating on an even higher level of consciousness.

With that being said, I did a self check. I looked at my proverbial stove. All of the burners are going. I'm turning the heat down on 3 of the 4 burners and turning it up on just one. Everything else will have to blend in with that thing. If it doesn't mesh with my vision, I ain't doing it. I'm sooooo excited about this new clarity. I wasn't sure what was holding me back from going all in. Now I realize it was because I was unsure about something. Now that I'm sure, I'm going for it. Full steam ahead.

It's so amazing what reflection and self correction can do for your life. The day that I had this moment, I had an opportunity waiting  for me in my inbox. If this is not affirmation, I don't know what is. When you chase something, it will run away. When embrace your purpose and your passion, you will attract your heart's desires.

The Fancy Life just keeps getting better.

When The Time Is Right

I'm writing this for women who feel like it will never happen for them. When the time is right. It will happen. Work on your relationship. Work on yourself. Exercise. Eat right. Take your vitamins. Pray. Don't stress. Jehovah knows what's best.

My husband and I got married in 2007 after 4 years of dating. In retrospect, we were young and dumb. He was still in residency, I was still in school but we both knew that we were made for each other. The first four years of our marriage were TOUGH! Mostly due to selfishness and immaturity on both parts. What people don't tell you about getting married is that you don't automatically think like a wife or a husband right after you say "I do". There's no switch. You have to grow into those roles.
We had essentially been in a long distance relationship the entire 4 years that we dated. Even though DC and Baltimore aren't that far from each other, with his school schedule and my work and school schedule, the weekends or every other weekend was when we spent time together. The rest of the time was spent talking on the phone. No Facetime back then. LOL! Sometimes we went as long as 6 weeks with out actually seeing each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but you also don't realize how annoying someone can be when you aren't around them all the time.

My Role

I was I-N-D-E-P-E-D-E-N-T. I had purchased my home and maybe one investment property. I had a car. I was making decent money. I lived alone. I was used to coming and going as I pleased because I had no one to be accountable to. I liked things a certain way. The right
way. My way. I was brash and bossy. I was a caretaker. I did everything and did not expect him to help out around the house because he was working 80-100 hours per week. I handle all of his "business" without him asking for help. I did not allow any negative consequences so that he could figure stuff out on his own and learn.

His Role

He was "focused" on his career, which meant quality time with me was often neglected. If it came down to spending time with me doing something he didn't necessarily want to do or work/sleeping for work or softball, he had a habit of choosing something other than me. He did not offer to help me out around the house because usually it was taken care of. He ignored me when I fussed.

Delay In Kids

We never put our marital problems on blast. EVER! We worked on them in private. I'd joke when people asked me when we were gonna start a family and say "We gotta figure out if we like each other enough before we do alladat." or "With all these advances in medicine, I got until a smooth 40 before pregnancy becomes an issue. I got trips to take."
But the reality was, we had some things to work through before we jumped into adding even more stress, like a crying infant. LOL! We had to get our finances in order. People assume because you're in a certain tax bracket or have a certain career that your money is right. No. We had to learn to set a budget and stick to it. I had my way of doing things and he never had any financial responsibility. He had been in school from age 6 to 26. We had to learn how to communicate with each other. We had to perfect our roles on the team. He learned to do laundry and dishes. I folded, dried and put them away. We budgeted in a housekeeper for all the other things. I went to the grocery store. He carried bags and put groceries away. I handled the bills and communicated where we were. He made sure I had access to everything I needed. Most importantly, we went to marriage counseling. I'm not talking about going to sit with our pastor at church or a marriage ministry bible study, not that there is anything wrong with that. But we needed something a little more candid. I'm talking about a certified therapist, who gave us assignments and helped us really hear each other. Our therapist gave us a book to read that really helped us understand each other better, Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, with the work book.
Once we went to therapy together, we were able to get to the root of "why" instead of focusing on the "what". Things were moving in the right direction but it still wasn't enough. Both of us had to do some work on ourselves, so still, to this day, we have regular individual therapy sessions. We have grown leaps and bounds....together. Once our communication improved, everything else improved. EVERYTHING.
We got our money right.  We traveled. We bought dumb stuff. Had regrets. We were finally able to got into our groove late into year 6.

The Plunge

Our marriage was on track. We had checked everything off of our bucket list from our 20s. We were in good places in our careers. We decided that we'd start trying for a baby in August 2015. August was ideal because we had a few trips in the summer and we wanted to be able to drink and do excursions. LOL! Although we are both healthy, it was still in the back of our minds that we were 35 years old and that we may encounter some difficulties getting pregnant now that we'd "done it right". You know, finished school, advanced our careers, traveled, enjoyed marriage, and THEN started a family.
We were both taking our vitamins, working out, eating right and so in July, we counted 14 days from the first day of my cycle and set the date to begin trying, August 1. At least twice a day, every other day for 7 days. We had fun. No stress.
I had some of my closest friends in town to celebrate my anniversary of birth, August 24, for the weekend.
Lots of food, fun, and sun. AND libations. Then it hit me, my period was supposed to come. So I took a test before they left. That thang turned positive within 30 seconds. I showed my husband. He high fived me, like I was a softball teammates. LOL! We had done it. The time was right. We were in a good place in our marriage and in life. Jehovah had blessed us at 35 with our first son. No fertility treatments, even though those vitamins had our loins on fleek. LOL! No stress. No in vitro. Just love. We celebrated 8 years of marriage this year and pray for a healthy baby boy to be born in April 2016. God is good.

Fearless Fancy

Growing up, I was a busy child. Always taking at least one performing arts lesson and participating in at least one sport through out the year. Never any breaks, that means even through out the summer months I was doing something.
Participating in these kinds of activities as a kid gave me a different kind of mindset when it came to trying new things and stepping out into unknown territory. It helped develop my "thick skin" and self esteem.

I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I played classical music mostly. In those 10 years of lessons, the music became more difficult to master but the steps to mastering it were the same. You learn a new skill that's applied to the art, tackle the new music in digestible parts. When each part is mastered, put them all together. Voila! You are playing your classical piece like Chopin himself. At the time, I didn't realize that these piano lessons were actually teaching me life lessons. As adults, we are confronted with situations we have never dealt with before, it makes us uncomfortable. But this is the natural progression of things. After 10 years of lessons and coaching and scales and arpeggios and hand stretches to reach chords, my parents would be disappointed if I were still playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with my pointer fingers just because it was easy for me to do that. They expected to hear me fumbling through on Chopin's Nocturne Op.9 No.2 until I got it right or they'd think they were wasting their money. LOL! In performing arts, we are always mastering new skills and testing our limits. No fear. We will get it with enough practice. Well, some times. With small hands, there were always some chords I just couldn't reach cuz it wasn't physically possible. Ha!

It's the same with sports. Although I participated in some team sports, I was never really an "athlete". It just wasn't in my blood. LOL! But, athletes have thick skin just like performers. Constantly getting critiqued. Being told how to improve. Getting scored. Getting judged. Winning competitions. Losing competitions. Auditioning for shows. Trying out for teams. Getting the gig. Not getting the gig. Making the team. Getting cut from the team. It's just what comes with the territory.

When I won a competition, there usually wasn't a big celebration cuz I was supposed to win. I mean, I had been practicing for 3 hours everyday. There was no reason I shouldn't have won. When I didn't win. It was not the end of the world. There is always someone out there better than you or with more natural talent. I'd just have to work harder before the next one. There are always more competitions for you to compete in and win. The scoring sheet would reveal what I needed to improve on so that I could work on it and win the next time.

Life is full of victories but you have to go through some losses along the way. The losses teach you character. The wins build your confidence. Losing or messing up or making a mistake never stopped me from practicing that show piece until it was perfected. A situation in life not turning out how I wanted it to never stopped me from living. Things are as they should be and when they aren't how I want them to be, I've realized that I have a lesson to learn and some things in my life that I need to work on.

Perfecting a new craft takes practice. You will fumble but that's just apart of the process. Don't be scared to push yourself beyond what you think you can do. You will surprise yourself. Test your limits. If you never test them, you will never know your full potential. Jump into new opportunities with both feet. No fear. And don't give up until you are a pro.

Live your Fancy life without fear.

If you are interested in doing something different and mastering a new craft that will foster personal development, click HERE.

Let Them Be Great!!!

I am no life coach. Never claimed to be one but I am pretty good at problem solving. Like, problem solving is my profession. My employer pays me to find solutions. My mind automatically starts looking for a solution when I see or hear a problem. I encourage people not to wallow in their situation being all sad and frustrated. Find the answer and apply it. Problem solved. On to the next thing that life throws at you. I don't like to see people that I care about depressed because of something out of their control *ahem* or repetitive poor decision making. I offer solutions or try to direct them to someone who may have the answers. When I don't have the answers, trust me, I have no problem sitting with Sway. However, as I have matured, I have learned when to keep my insight to myself. I have learned that unsolicited input is not well received in some situations. Even when I am called on, I say what I have to say and leave it alone.

Different strokes for different folks. I have my own life to worry about. Taking on other people's issues is not apart of that. You came, you asked, I gave you some knowledge, now it's in your hands. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. And I do not try to. Everything we do is in our mindset. Some people are so fixated on the problem and defiantly chose not to see the solution. Like, everything suggestion I make, they counter with a reason it won't work without even trying. Some people relish in a state of chaos. So much so that when they see calm waters ahead they turn back into the storm. These kinds of people tend to always have something to complain about. I am not that person.  I am optimistic. Sometimes the only solution I can offer is to look at the blessings that come from a seemingly bad situation. I know that someone who chooses to focus on the negative cannot be helped by anything I have to offer. I think life should be nice and drama free. I don't give any advice that I wouldn't take myself. I don't give any advice that is out of my scope of knowledge. Having trouble with your step kids? I don't know what to tell you. If you're looking for advice, talk to my auntie, she's great with her step kids.  Sometimes people just need to hear themselves talk through the situation, so they're not really looking for input just a listening ear. I do talk things out with my husband all the time. He's great at fake listening. LOL!

I am in the business of helping people who want to help themselves but I am not trying to control or force anyone's hand. I only want the best for everyone, so I speak honestly which can hurt sometimes. My loves know I am going to give it to them straight, with a chaser, of course. I mean, I'd rather my mother tell me, in a loving way, that my breath stinks and I need to get to the dentist ASAP than have people avoid talking to me. I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. Just open their eyes. If they chose not to take my advice, I am not offended, it's just my perspective on the situation. I will never know all of the aspects if I am not in the situation. Who knows. I COULD be wrong. LOL!

Anyone can live the Fancy life but everyone isn't up for the challenge it takes. Being a problem solver is associated with personal growth and development. We are all different and at different stages in our lives. I am alright with that. I let them be great at whatever phase they are in.

If you are up for the challenge and interested in making life changes. Click HERE for a free report on how to make that happen or visit www.fancyfreellc.com.

Why?

Ask any kid what they want to be when they grow up and they will probably tell you something very prestigious. An actor. An astronaut. A basketball star. The President of the United States. A singer. And then.......life gets in the way and they forget about their big dreams. Some adult tells them why they can't accomplish these things. They are given all the reasons we cannot make these big dreams become a reality. And sometimes life's circumstances just get in the way.

At an early age, music professional recognized the musician in me. My father gave me some good sound advice based on his life experiences. He encouraged me to go to a college preparatory high school and work on my academics, get good grades, go to college, get a good job and THEN you do the things you "like" to do, as in play around with music. My father taught me to be practical. No more dreams of grandeur.

My husband's parents taught him the same things. The first six years of our relationship, we were in training. Graduate school, residency, training programs, etc. We were in our late twenties and still living like college students. I finally made it out of training. I specialized in my field. I became a Medical Laboratory Scientist Specialist in Blood Banking. I got my "dream job" -in quotations because who really WANTS a job- before the age of 30. I was managing a blood bank and making the salary I had aimed to make at that point in life. My husband had just finished residency when I started my dream job and we had negotiated a contract with his current employer. We were almost to exactly where we wanted to be in our professional life. Obstacles came when my husband's start date was not until NINE months after he finished his residency. How did that create an obstacles? Well, it means he was unemployed for nine months before that salary we had negotiated would begin hitting our bank accounts. 

During those nine months, we bought our dream home. We closed on it four months before he actually started making his big time doctor salary. Long short....we were broker than we had ever been for about six months during a time in life when were supposed to be living abundantly. It was really bad. Like, I was calling my father for gas money and we were alternating who's parents house we were going to eat dinner at every night. Broker than we had been in our pseudo-college student budget days. We knew it was a phase. But it was a very humbling time in our lives. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel. We were getting closer to his start date and we finally got a tenant in our old house. 

Jehovah will send you what you need when you need it but we don't always recognize it. I was talking to a college friend about life in this nine month period of broke-ness. I was joking about how broke we were at the time....laughing to keep from crying. My college friend was telling me about this "thing" he was doing and how my husband and I could make a lot of money. He suggested that we take a look at it. I was like "No." A flat "no". I was over  my hustling days of working 4 jobs. I had my one good job and I knew things would get better when my husband started working. And when he started working, things got better. We were taking our parents out for dinner. Going on vacations. Really, living the Fancy life to it's full capacity. 

Then...it happened. We filed income taxes for the first time when both of us had been earning at our full potential. We learned at that time why they say DINK for Dual Income No Kids. They call it that cuz "DINK!!" is what you say when you see how much you will owe the federal government in taxes when you fit in that category. It was really bad. My accountant suggested we buy a bigger house, have a baby, or start a home based business. That night, I called my college friend and got started with his "thing". I didn't even know what it was. I didn't care. I just knew a few things. I knew that he was my friend and wouldn't set me up for failure. I knew that he was making a lot of money with this thing, so I could make a lot of money. But most importantly, we needed a reprieve on taxes because it could only get worse as our salaries increased. So, I got started. 

It's so funny how you can start a project to make a small improvement in your life and the project can completely change your life. I started my home based business just looking for tax benefits that rental properties and donating money couldn't give me and now I am transforming. I am becoming a better person. This venture has taught me a lot about myself and gave me the desire to develop and improve. My "dream job" has become something I do because I like it and I'm really good at it, not because I need the money. This shift in mindset has totally changed how I manage "work stress" and life stress as well. I have never been around a group of more positive and helpful people in my adult life. My husband and I are able to dream again, just like we are kids. I can travel more than I used to, do things for our family, and, most importantly, not owe an arm and a leg to the IRS at the end of the year. It's been great!! 

Are you looking for something different but aren't quite sure what it is? Has adult life gotten in the way of you living the life you dreamed about as a child? Do you just want to finally get a refund when you file taxes? We can help you dream again. All these things are possible and more. Click HERE and we will contact you to share the details and get you on the path to live your dreams.

But it's hard.....

When I was about 10 years old, I was extremely active. Piano lessons, modern dance, karate, basketball team, girl scouts and let's not forget church activities. I'm talking ushering, choir, and any community volunteering activities offered. I specifically remember aching pains in my knees whenever I participated in any physical activity. It happened so often that my parents took me to the doctor to see what was wrong with me. The doctor diagnosed me with "growing pains". What the heck is that?!?! My grandmother could have told me that. I eventually stopped experiencing that pain in my knees and I reached a disappointing height of 5'4", shattering my dreams of becoming a runway model. LOL! However, life still had some "growing pains" for me to experience. While I stopped growing physically, I had a long way to go in this thing called life. I went through typical high school/teenage girl drama. I learned some valuable lessons about love and money while in undergrad.

When I was 24 years old, I started graduate school. I had taken a year off from school after completing two undergraduate programs and was working full time at night. I purposely took a night shift position so that I could pursue my Masters degree in Forensic Science full time during the day, so not to take longer than necessary to complete the program. This proved to be one of the most difficult times in my life. I had just purchased a house and moved out of my parents' home. So I went from being surrounded by people, love and lots of noise to nothing. Silence. No one to wash my clothes, cook dinner, wash the dishes, talk to, sit and watch tv with. Nothing. I didn't realize how depressing that was, even though my parents checked on my everyday because I had only moved 5 blocks down the street. LOL! I was working at night in a pretty stressful environment. The work itself could be stressful but it didn't help that the people I worked with had preconceived notions about my abilities because of my appearance. You get my drift? The director of my graduate program gave me a hard time about working full time while I was in school. Like, literally called me in his office to tell me that I shouldn't be working while I'm in his program. All of these factors led to a monthly conversation with my daddy about me quitting school. My dad made sure I didn't quit when it got hard. I graduated from graduate school on time.

What did he say in those monthly conversations? To sum it up, he said, "Life is hard. Five years from now, you'll look back at your life and think 'I went through that and it wasn't so bad.' If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and everyone can't be in charge." 

And he was so right. The work and school drama I was going through at the time totally trumped not having a date to my senior prom. And the anxiety of not knowing who I was taking to my senior prom overshadowed the devastation of getting an Unsatisfactory on my progress report for Algebra I in the ninth grade. We live and we grow. It hurts at the time but when we get through it, we have grown in the process. If you aren't growing, you're dying.

I am an ambitious person. I reached my career goals in record time. Now I am on to the next phase of my life. I am working on something completely out of my comfort zone. It is a different kind of challenge. Challenge = HARD!!! But I hold my father's words near my heart. I can see the growth in my personal development and bank account as a result of it, so I know it's worth it. 

If you are dealing with a situation that seems "hard", push through. Congratulations, you are growing! Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside of your comfort zone. If you are contemplating making a change in your life but you are afraid that it may be difficult for you, dive in head first, it will always be hard if you never get started. Whatever it is, being scared of it is a sign that it's something you should strongly consider. Jehovah created us to be great. Remember, the easy thing to do is usually what the majority of people do. But we are living the Fancy Life, so we want more. We are exceptional. We do what's hard now and it eventually becomes easy. We can add these accomplishments to our list and move on to the next set of challenges, building your confidence along the way.

No, living a Fancy Life isn't always easy but it's definitely worth it in the end.

If your are looking for something more but aren't exactly sure what it is, click here, I'm sure we can help you. Text 'woods' to 55469.

Until next time......