Let Them Be Great!!!

I am no life coach. Never claimed to be one but I am pretty good at problem solving. Like, problem solving is my profession. My employer pays me to find solutions. My mind automatically starts looking for a solution when I see or hear a problem. I encourage people not to wallow in their situation being all sad and frustrated. Find the answer and apply it. Problem solved. On to the next thing that life throws at you. I don't like to see people that I care about depressed because of something out of their control *ahem* or repetitive poor decision making. I offer solutions or try to direct them to someone who may have the answers. When I don't have the answers, trust me, I have no problem sitting with Sway. However, as I have matured, I have learned when to keep my insight to myself. I have learned that unsolicited input is not well received in some situations. Even when I am called on, I say what I have to say and leave it alone.

Different strokes for different folks. I have my own life to worry about. Taking on other people's issues is not apart of that. You came, you asked, I gave you some knowledge, now it's in your hands. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. And I do not try to. Everything we do is in our mindset. Some people are so fixated on the problem and defiantly chose not to see the solution. Like, everything suggestion I make, they counter with a reason it won't work without even trying. Some people relish in a state of chaos. So much so that when they see calm waters ahead they turn back into the storm. These kinds of people tend to always have something to complain about. I am not that person.  I am optimistic. Sometimes the only solution I can offer is to look at the blessings that come from a seemingly bad situation. I know that someone who chooses to focus on the negative cannot be helped by anything I have to offer. I think life should be nice and drama free. I don't give any advice that I wouldn't take myself. I don't give any advice that is out of my scope of knowledge. Having trouble with your step kids? I don't know what to tell you. If you're looking for advice, talk to my auntie, she's great with her step kids.  Sometimes people just need to hear themselves talk through the situation, so they're not really looking for input just a listening ear. I do talk things out with my husband all the time. He's great at fake listening. LOL!

I am in the business of helping people who want to help themselves but I am not trying to control or force anyone's hand. I only want the best for everyone, so I speak honestly which can hurt sometimes. My loves know I am going to give it to them straight, with a chaser, of course. I mean, I'd rather my mother tell me, in a loving way, that my breath stinks and I need to get to the dentist ASAP than have people avoid talking to me. I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. Just open their eyes. If they chose not to take my advice, I am not offended, it's just my perspective on the situation. I will never know all of the aspects if I am not in the situation. Who knows. I COULD be wrong. LOL!

Anyone can live the Fancy life but everyone isn't up for the challenge it takes. Being a problem solver is associated with personal growth and development. We are all different and at different stages in our lives. I am alright with that. I let them be great at whatever phase they are in.

If you are up for the challenge and interested in making life changes. Click HERE for a free report on how to make that happen or visit www.fancyfreellc.com.

How to be "Fancy"

As some hip-hop/R&B songs indicate that in order to be "Fancy" you have to rock designer duds, drive expensive cars, and spend all of your time in the spa and salon getting your hair and nails did.

That is definitely NOT my life. I don't have many designer clothes. Just a few pieces, but you better believe I found them on somebody's clearance rack or on some of my favorite discount websites. Hmph! I do drive a luxury car but I bought it used and haggled the salesman down to the ground just cuz I gotta have the deal. I try to avoid the salons at all costs and I typically only comb my hair once every 2-3 weeks. Don't judge me? It looks super cute when I don't comb it. LOL!
Now, I do make regular visits to the spa. I consider bi-weekly manicures and pedicures to be maintenance. Chippy polish is not Fancy approved and my husband insists that my toes are polished as well. I am very particular about my nails, so I only go to one person but, in all honesty, a mani/pedi in a nail shop might set you back about $35. Moral of the story: Being Fancy doesn't necessarily mean spending a lot of money.

Living this Fancy life requires that I get as much bang for my buck as possible. I'm always going for the deal, the sale, the discount, the trade and the hook up. I look for the highest quality at the lowest possible cost. The motto for my household is: "Quote me the lowest possible price you will accept, then go lower." I rely on discount membership only stores, Groupon, Craigslist, eBay, "Google", the list is pretty extensive. However, I find that people are my biggest resource.
I make nice with EVERYONE. I don't discount anyone because of their "status" or income or education. You never know when you will need someone. I try to bring value to all of my relationships because, quite frankly, being known as "the friend who always needs something" is NOT Fancy. We are all blessed in some way. I strongly believe that a blessing isn't a blessing until you can use it to bless someone else. I help where I can without expecting anything in return. I give freely. Not because I want something in return, but because I am giver. As a result, I have a long list of resources at my disposal that can be considered "Fancy hook up" contacts.

Be Fancy. We all have one guilty pleasure. It's totally fine to treat yourself.
That item you thought you couldn't afford is out there somewhere, right within your budget. You just have to find it.
Establish relationships with people. Be an asset in that relationship. Enjoy being a blessing to people when they need you. You never now when they will return the favor.

Until next time, enjoy your Fancy life.

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Looking Out

We've all experienced it, a woman in your life who gives unsolicited advice. Be it from a mother, aunt, older co-worker, church lady, it comes from a good place but it's still unsolicited. As a younger woman, I would be the giver of unsolicited advice but sometimes it didn't go over so well because I had yet to master the art of candor. Although, my advice was from a good place, it wasn't always received positively. In turn, for some years, I just kept my mouth shut when my opinion was not asked of me.
However, as I've live more and make decisions, I often find myself in a position where my advice or input is sought after. I guess people are watching me and are encouraged by the direction I'm headed in. I was once told that my spiritual gift was the ability to influence others. I was young then but now I understand it and try my best to put my gift to good use. As I mature, I have become that woman who gives unsolicited advice. I haven't gotten any negative feedback, so far. I hope it's because I am mastering the art of candor. LOL! I realized that the givers of unsolicited advice really care about you.
Sometimes an outsider can see something in you that you can't see in yourself. I have benefited from unsolicited advice. I just knew I was built to be a boss but the education coordinator of my last program saw the "teacher" in me. I would have NEVER went into teaching had she not mentioned it. While I don't claim to be the best professor ever, my students flourish on their rotations after being under my instruction. To here good reports about my students is way more fulfilling than any policy or procedure I can put into place as a boss. Having a close friend tell me that it would be ok not to marry a long time boyfriend jogged my brain and got me thinking. Although I never said anything to her about my relationship status, she could see that I was unhappy. I, in turn, eventually broke up with that guy and ended up marrying my soulmate. That one little sentence worth of unsolicited advice got me on the path to happiness.
My mother used to tell me that people who don't care will talk about you, while people who do care will talk to you. If your heart is telling you to talk to someone about something, talk to them. If someone randomly says something to you about yourself, don't take offense, just listen. It could change your life. Afterall, we all live here together. We HAVE to look out for each other.