One of my loves, who is actually the reason why I started blogging again after taking a couple years hiatus, started a meet up for black women entrepreneurs. I was very picky about how I spent my time because, well, I didn't have much to spare. However, since taking my jump, I'm more open to opportunities to network and get out of the house. I'm oucheah! Cuz ain't nobody gonna know about my product if I don't get out in deez streetz and tell them.
Anyway, the meet up was such a blessing. It was a protected space where we, black women, who always have to be strong and look like we have it together, could be vulnerable and express our needs. A few key takeaways were that:
Entrepreneurship is lonely
It is scientifically proven that human beings are designed to operate in a team
Let's start with the loneliness of it all, as I sit in my living room alone writing this blog. Yeah. It seems cool to have the freedom during the day to schedule things as I please. I don't have the constant interruptions of office mates and colleagues asking me dumb questions. However, that can backfire because I am alone with my thoughts, which leads to the next take a way.....
Human beings are designed to operate in a team. We are not meant to do things alone. It leads to the dreaded emotional roller coaster that comes with entrepreneurship. There are days when you feel like you can take over the world and get it all done. There are other days where it is all too much and you just wanna take a nap. Then there are the days that you feel like you aren't doing enough, that you are a complete loser, and you start to rethink your life choices. All because you're by yourself. I mean, look at some stories of people being stranded after some kind of accident. A group of people is more likely to survive than a single person in the exact same circumstances. Let that sink in.
So, even though I know all of that, I had a bad day this week. I did it too myself. It was not warranted. I started comparing my progress to someone else's. I wondered if I could make it happen. I wondered when my growth would reach it's tipping point. I wondered what I was doing wrong. Then I snapped out of it and gave myself some kudos, like my therapist taught me. After that, I had a conversation with a sister friend about being emotional. She reminded me of who I am and also reminded me of the source of those emotions *whispers* cuz she knows my real life. Then said "You'll be alright. Just keep swimming." She was right. I snapped out of it.
But then I had to talk about that roller coaster moment with someone who was at the meet up with me. My cousin, who is also my attorney. I hit her up and said "cousin confessions". LOL! I told her about my emotional roller coaster and what triggered it. We laughed at me for being "crazy" then we started talking about strategy and timelines. We had a few "ah ha" moments and felt good about Fancy Free when we ended the conversation.
The point is, who knows how long I would've been in that funk had I not reached out to my team to at
least talk about it. Entrepreneurship is not easy. It takes a lot of mental tenacity to make it through each day with the growth, set backs, highs, and lows. Any success story has a team of people pushing the main character through. Your team does not have to be in the same industry, it's just important to have a safe place where you can be vulnerable and receive encouragement.
In the end, I know that I made the right decision. My father and husband always remind me that the tough choice is usually the best choice and that nothing worth having will be easy to come by.
Shameless Plug Alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sine up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.
Soooooo, I used to have time to blog regularly. Then I started a business. Then I had a baby. Then I went back to work. Then business started picking up. Life became crazy but the whole time, I was working on myself. Not just growing my business but growing as a person. Improving how I manage my time. Improving my relationships. Loving myself more. Not being so hard on myself. Reading more. Meditating. Eating better. I also began to grow out of things. Outgrow relationships. Outgrow activities. You get the point.
Fast forward to today. I have finally fully retired from healthcare to pursue my passion. And, also, allowing what has been chasing me my entire life to catch up to me. You see, I grew up in a salon. I feel like every woman in my family has a cosmetology license, including my mother. I even worked in a salon while in grad school and apprenticed under my mother but never took the exam. What some may see is a woman who started small, business picked up, opportunities are presenting, so I decided to go for it. What people don't know is that this was written. Business is picking up, so I need more space to manufacture. What will that space look like? Eventually, it will be a beauty salon. That's the 2 year plan. All that running from cosmetology has come full circle. LOL!
In college, even though my career path was not clear, I knew I did not want to work beyond the age of 35. At the time, I thought I would work a little bit and then my husband would take care of me. LOL! I mean, my mother is a stay at home mom, why can't I be one too? No one knew this. I never shared it with my husband. Why? Well, life happens. Reality hits you. I assumed that we could not sustain our lifestyle on one salary, so my intention was to stay in healthcare until I was retirement age. While I had reached my career goals by the age of 30, I thought I'd develop new ones for healthcare related advancement in my career. Nope. That's not what happened. Once I mastered my job function, I was looking for a new challenge. This was right around the time when I began my journey in multilevel marketing.
Say what you want about multilevel marketing, but for me, it was an eye opener. I was open minded and I realized how powerful I really am. I learned about myself. I realized that sitting in a windowless office, tucked away in the corner of a blood bank was not what Jehovah intended for me. I thought that multilevel marketing would be my ticket to a Fancy Free life but it didn't work out that way. Turned out that Fancy Free was my ticket. It had been right under my nose for about 2 years. I started selling the hair product. More and more women were scheduling natural hair consults. Fancy Free business was picking up. 500% growth in my second year of business. Those numbers happened during a year where I was working on a HUGE project at work, pregnant, oh yeah, and had a baby. This all got me thinking. If I grew this much with wishy washy, inconsistent marketing, imagine what I could do if I focused all of my energy on Fancy Free. Endless possibilities. No limits.
So there it was, staring me in my face, my destiny. But how was I going to transition? Our household
budget included my, now half time, salary. Simple. Get out of debt. If we paid off all of our credit cards, we could afford to live off of my husband's salary. Simple. Not easy though. LOL! So we got to work. Scaled back on splurging. We were chopping that debt down, big time. The whole time, my work environment was becoming more miserable. Once my focus shifted from being a Specialist in Blood Bank to growing as a CEO, I no longer wanted to spend time blood banking. I wanted to be building Fancy Free. So EVERYTHING irritated me. It was time to go.
Once we set a date, that's when the magic began. You see, when you begin to walk in your purpose, the flood gates open and everything works toward helping you receive the desires of your heart. Things lined up in a way that I couldn't have even imagined for myself. I never told my husband I wanted to retire by 35. I kept it close to my heart. Between Jehovah and I. But I was open and flexible. The silence while meditating let Him speak to me. I just listened. Now, here I am at 36 years old and retired. Only one year behind schedule. I mean, the Jews wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, so 1 year isn't so bad.
No, all of our debt isn't completely paid off but we're on our way. No, I don't have a building yet. But the reality is, all of your ducks are never going to line up the way you want them to before you take the "jump". Jehovah wants you to rely on Him and not your own understanding. When we humble ourselves, accept that there a lot of things that we just don't know, and actively seek guidance, things happen, BIG things happen.
What are the desires of your heart? Go after them with all you've got. There is nothing you can't do once you've made up your mind.
Shameless plug alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sine up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.
We all love a good Louis Vuitton but a missing head light
is a safety hazard. Should we be worried about that instead?
The African-American community is always being criticized for something. Usually it's for worrying about the wrong things. You know standing in line for Black Friday but not showing up for Parent-Teacher conference night. Up early to get the latest release of Jordan's but not showing up to vote. Mother's criticized for making sure their weave is tight but there's no food in the refrigerator for their kids to eat breakfast before they go to school. There is nothing wrong with want to look nice and to have nice things but when there's no balance and that's your only concern, we need to assess why we are worried about the wrong things.
I'm not sure if there is a simple solution. As I struggle in helping my younger sisters grow into adulthood, I find myself saying the same things to them over and over. "You are not supposed to have what I have right now. I have paid my dues and have worked hard. You are still working. It will happen, just not now." Social media and reality TV have a lot to do with it. We live in a microwave society. Everyone wants instant gratification for minimal efforts. While healthy competition is nice, there is a problem when you go to great lengths just to "out do" someone. I'm "fancy" because that's just me, I don't live my life trying do something bigger than the next person.
Youngsters want the "Fancy Life" but don't want to go through the years of training and hard work to get it. Worrying about what their lifestyle looks like instead of creating a stable foundation to sustain it. Fast money. Fast cars. Lavish lifestyle. Then it all comes crashing down and we're left in a constant state of struggle. It all starts with exposure. Our kids are being exposed to a lifestyle without being exposed to the hard work, sacrifice, discipline and tenacity it takes to get to live that lifestyle. A phrase I like to use is "shooting in the gym". Ask any successful athlete how much time they spend training during the season and off season and they'll tell you "all day". Like, literally 8-10 hours TRAINING!!! The same goes for any career. You gotta put in that WORK to get ahead at whatever you do.
Sean "P. Diddy" or "Puff Daddy" Combs worked for FREE as an intern before he got his shot. That is work without pay. Modern day slavery. LOL! I kid. But he was getting paid in knowledge. Some people are so concerned with being seen in a certain light that they forget that money comes and goes, just like things, but knowledge is the gift that keeps on giving. Did you know that Kim Kardashian was an assistant to many
celebrities before she became one herself? Let that sink in. Kim Kardashian, the lady with the multi-million dollar empire, was an assistant, running errands and picking out clothes BEFORE she became a household name. It does not happen overnight. But if you push through the times that seem like struggle, you will make it and know what it takes to keep it.
Are you worrying about the wrong things? How you're going to pay your credit card bills that are maxed out from purchasing things? Are you focused on being great at all costs? When you are great, no matter what your specialty is, money will come and you will always be able to buy the things you really want to buy. The Fancy Life is the fruit of our labor, we ain't doing this for the "Gram".
Until next time, continue focusing on being great in your Fancy life.
Are you on the verge of breakthrough? Let us help you map out your plan and "do the work" to help you make your life even more "Fancy" than it already is. Text WOODS to 55469.
In the end, I know that I made the right decision. My father and husband always remind me that the tough choice is usually the best choice and that nothing worth having will be easy to come by. 
