What Are You Worried About?

We all love a good Louis Vuitton but a missing head light
is a safety hazard. Should we be worried about that instead?

The African-American community is always being criticized for something. Usually it's for worrying about the wrong things. You know standing in line for Black Friday but not showing up for Parent-Teacher conference night. Up early to get the latest release of Jordan's but not showing up to vote. Mother's criticized for making sure their weave is tight but there's no food in the refrigerator for their kids to eat breakfast before they go to school. There is nothing wrong with want to look nice and to have nice things but when there's no balance and that's your only concern, we need to assess why we are worried about the wrong things.

I'm not sure if there is a simple solution. As I struggle in helping my younger sisters grow into adulthood, I find myself saying the same things to them over and over. "You are not supposed to have what I have right now. I have paid my dues and have worked hard. You are still working. It will happen, just not now." Social media and reality TV have a lot to do with it. We live in a microwave society. Everyone wants instant gratification for minimal efforts. While healthy competition is nice, there is a problem when you go to great lengths just to "out do" someone. I'm "fancy" because that's just me, I don't live my life trying do something bigger than the next person.

Youngsters want the "Fancy Life" but don't want to go through the years of training and hard work to get it. Worrying about what their lifestyle looks like instead of creating a stable foundation to sustain it. Fast money. Fast cars. Lavish lifestyle. Then it all comes crashing down and we're left in a constant state of struggle. It all starts with exposure. Our kids are being exposed to a lifestyle without being exposed to the hard work, sacrifice, discipline and tenacity it takes to get to live that lifestyle. A phrase I like to use is "shooting in the gym". Ask any successful athlete how much time they spend training during the season and off season and they'll tell you "all day". Like, literally 8-10 hours TRAINING!!! The same goes for any career. You gotta put in that WORK to get ahead at whatever you do.

Sean "P. Diddy" or "Puff Daddy" Combs worked for FREE as an intern before he got his shot. That is work without pay. Modern day slavery. LOL! I kid. But he was getting paid in knowledge. Some people are so concerned with being seen in a certain light that they forget that money comes and goes, just like things, but knowledge is the gift that keeps on giving. Did you know that Kim Kardashian was an assistant to many
celebrities before she became one herself? Let that sink in. Kim Kardashian, the lady with the multi-million dollar empire, was an assistant, running errands and picking out clothes BEFORE she became a household name. It does not happen overnight. But if you push through the times that seem like struggle, you will make it and know what it takes to keep it.

Are you worrying about the wrong things? How you're going to pay your credit card bills that are maxed out from purchasing things? Are you focused on being great at all costs? When you are great, no matter what your specialty is, money will come and you will always be able to buy the things you really want to buy. The Fancy Life is the fruit of our labor, we ain't doing this for the "Gram".

Until next time, continue focusing on being great in your Fancy life.

Are you on the verge of breakthrough? Let us help you map out your plan and "do the work" to help you make your life even more "Fancy" than it already is. Text WOODS to 55469.

Husbands Need Wives

How does the saying go? "Behind every good man is an even greater woman." Some feminists may say it should read "beside" instead of "behind". To me, it doesn't matter because marriage is a partnership, the "Ultimate Merger". A woman can be beside, behind, in front of....where ever she is, please believe she is "ghost bossing" her husband's life. Whether it is picking out his clothes, managing his money, nudging him in the direction of better opportunity, or even running his household, she is there. Women are natural nurturers and can nurture the most successful man to even greater heights.

5Linx Explaining Why Men Thrive in Marriage

1. Keeping house.
Yes. There are plenty of men who cook and clean but, let's face it, there aren't many. I'm not saying husbands shouldn't share in household duties or chores. I'm saying that it takes a woman to point out where he could use improvement in these areas. i.e. Cleaning the kitchen versus washing dishes. I have had to explain the difference to my own husband. LOL!

2. Caring for children.

Not to discredit fathers but there is nothing like a mother's love. Mothers literally risk their lives giving birth. No one, besides Jehovah, can say they've done more for you than that. Men need wives to bare the children and help nurture them. Even if it were biologically possible, I don't think men could deal with the discomfort and pain of giving birth. I'm just saying....

3. Replacement mama.
The male ego is fragile. Mothers play an important role in molding their sons, building confidence by accolades and applause. Fathers usually help mold their sons with discipline. When a man leaves his mother and cleaves to his wife, he will be looking to his wife for those same accolades. Whether it's for his lackluster attempt at doing laundry or pulling off the deal of the century with his company, men need their wives to cheer them on just as their mothers did.

4. Organization.
Men typically are not organized, at all. Unless it is related to sports or some hobby they have, they usually do not prepare in advance for anything. Be it a party, food for the week, how to stack the tupperware or a vacation. Men have a tendency to not think about upcoming activities until stuff hits the fan. Then they scramble. Wives are there to put events on their husband's calendar, so they know where they have to be and what time they have to be there. Wives know how much money they will have to put aside for the vacation the husband wanted to take. Wives make sure to purchase extra drinks and hors d'oeuvres and rent extra chairs when they see that the husband has invited an extra 50 people to the party they're having.

5. Reality check.
Just like mothers tell their sons that they are doing a great job, they also tell their sons when they need to do
better. Wives do the same thing. We all have tendencies to get comfortable, it is up to wives to give husbands a quick reality check when they're slacking. Be it in the bedroom, with chores or the boardroom. Jay-Z said it best, "Blue told me to remind you..." along with Bey. We gotta remind deez husbands that we ain't marry no slacker. Get out here in deez streets and make moves. LOL!

Whatever you give a woman, she will multiply and make it better. I am so thankful that I have a loving relationship with my mother-in-law. Her son, my husband, is a great catch but she gladly tells people that I got her son together. A special thank you to all the parents for raising great men who turn into husbands. Another thank you to all the mothers who know when it's time to turn their son over to a wife so that she can help him grow into an even greater man.

We are in the business of helping man and woman alike to become great. Contact us at www.fancyfreellc.com 

The Allure of "Boss"

Nowadays errybody is claiming they're a "boss chick". No. Seriously. Every. Body. But if everyone is a boss, who is getting bossed and doing the work? Something doesn't add up. LOL! Let's be clear actually being a boss can look glamorous. Who wouldn't want to be the woman in charge who strolls in the office at any time of day then leaves early for a lunch date, mani/pedi, or salon appointment, while wearing tailored suits and designer pumps? Of course that life can be alluring. What most don't see is the dues that were paid to get to the point where these conveniences possible. You have got to pay your dues first. Then you get the boss privileges and can call yourself a "BOSS". 

What does paying your dues mean? When you pay, you get receipts. Receipts can be in the form of a college degree or multiple degrees, certifications, unpaid internships, documentation of past works, etc. These things make for a really impressive resume but are paid for with lots of late nights and plenty of early mornings. In my case, even hair loss and an expensive dental bill because I was so focused on my grind, I neglected my teeth-do not judge me, my smile is perfection now. LOL! You can only accomplish these things with discipline, consistency and accountability. The boss chick can come and go as she pleases because she is the boss and her higher ups or clients know that the job will get done by the agreed upon date whether she is in her office or not. Accountability goes far and she has proven that when it's in her hands that "It's handled." and she is allowed the freedom to come and go as she pleases. She's working even when she's not working. It's not unlikely to see a boss chick responding to emails and taking phone calls even while on vacation or at a get together. A real boss is never complacent. She sets high standards for herself and continuously raises the bar for what her next phase of accomplishments will be. To whom much is given, much is expected. She has worked hard to afford a luxury lifestyle and works harder to maintain it. 

The boss chick has mentors whom she seeks advice from and a mentees whom she is guiding through the "paying dues" stage. Insecure women hate her because they secretly want to be her. Boys know that she is out of their league. Some boys will even try to date her and be that bad boyfriend who ruined her. They only do that because she represents something that they do not deserve. Men want to marry her. A real man is inspired by her work ethic. Men know that anything he brings to her will be multiplied. Their ultimate merger will deem them a "Power Couple". 

No wonder she lives a lifestyle filled with fine dining, tailored fashions, lavish vacations, exclusive outings, and great company. "Opposites attract" is only true for refrigerator magnets. Like attracts like. Iron sharpens iron. True bosses attract boss friends and mates, opportunity, and prosperity. She has her family but a boss chick's close network of boss friends can relate to her struggles. Let's face it, this is a man's world and although a boss chick's significant other understands her grind, only other women can truly relate to what boss chick's have to deal with. They check each other when one is wrong, in career, relationships, and life. They cheer each other on and help maintain focus. They can let their hair down around each other without having to worry about being exposed on the internet.

Yes, studies do show that attractive people have it easier because they're, well, attractive. But a TRUE boss chick has worked hard to get what she has, no matter how attractive she is. She is a goal getter, not a gold digger. Joining forces with a successful mate is just the icing on the cake. She attracted that into her life. She did not chase it down. Please believe the she does NOT have it made. She worked hard for it and works hard to keep it but she makes a point to enjoy the spoils of her labor as often as possible. I mean, why not? She has much to celebrate. Being a boss is no easy feat but the results are worth it. So she enjoys it.

Bosses, continue. Still collecting receipts? Push through. It's worth it in the long run.

If you are a true "boss chick" and are open to joining forces with other positive, successful women to diversify your streams of income, click HERE.

Wearing the Crown

Do you wear the crown? You know. "The Crown". What is the "crown" anyway? Let's take a "crown" wearing quiz? Do people always come to you with their problems? Not just your close friends and family looking for a listening ear or a problem solving session. I'm talking about random people in the grocery store or doctor's office. How about at work? Does everyone in your office look to you for the solutions? Are you the one always caught in the middle of family feuds and everyone expects you to resolve it? Do you have an issue with mediocrity? Like, when you are put on task, you can only crank out stellar results? Do you go to great lengths trying to help someone we great? So much so that it seems that you want greater for them than they want for themselves? Are you constantly looking for ways to improve.......everything? Have you been challenged with doing a job better than someone else and you actually did it better?

If you answered yes to 90% of those questions, then you wear "The Crown". Don't cry. I know, it's a hard life. But, because you are awesome, you wouldn't have it any other way. You are the person that gets rewarded with more responsibility at work because you're so good at what you do. They know you will be top notch with more. You proof read your friends' and family's resumes. You get put on planning committees for family reunions and baby showers even when you insist on not being involved. You will eventually be the glue that keeps your family together when your parents pass and your parents know this. Your significant other looks to you when there is a disaster because history has shown that you can fix anything.

You may not have ever thought of it this way, but it is all your fault. If you weren't so good at everything, no one would look to you for help, input or guidance. It's a simple theory. No one begs Aunt Carolyn to bring those nasty biscuits to holiday dinner every year if they're nasty the first year. They ask Aunt Helen to make them because Aunt Helen's biscuits are delicious. She does a great job with each and every batch.

How do you cope with wearing the crown? You must have outlets. These can be regular outings with other crown wearers. You can bounce other Crown-like ideas off of each other. Maybe have a rant session about how draining it is to be so awesome everyday. LOL! This is the only place ranting is allowed.  Therapy is a good one. Therapist are trained professionals who can suggest clinically proven methods to fit your personality and lifestyle. Don't sleep on therapy. A few good therapy sessions can keep your anxiety levels low for years to come. Reading, shopping, traveling, cuddling, laying on the couch......pretty much anything that you do strictly for your own enjoyment can be used as an outlet.

Here are 5Linx to maintaining your sanity while you sport your precious crown:

1. Never reduce your standards. You wear the crown because you are great and no one can take that away from you.
2. Be kind but firm. We have to maintain our high level of expectations. However, we can communicate in warm tones. Season your words with salt. They will be received better.
3. The word "no" should be an integral part of your vocabulary. Your peace of mind is your most valuable asset. Some times you have to say "no" in order to maintain that.
4. Help out where your help is deserved. Sometimes we want to lend a helping hand where we see a need but we know our efforts will not be appreciated. Never allow people to take your efforts to be wasted.
5. Always look for the silver lining. Perspective is EVERYTHING. Having a positive outlook can completely change the outcome of a situation for the better.

When you accept your "Fancy" crown, it comes with benefits as well as challenges. Wear your crown with pride but remember to utilize your outlets to maintain your own happiness. If you wear a crown and feel the need to collaborate with others who wear the same crown, text WOODS to 55469. 

Until next time, wear your "Fancy" crown with pride....