Wearing the Crown

Do you wear the crown? You know. "The Crown". What is the "crown" anyway? Let's take a "crown" wearing quiz? Do people always come to you with their problems? Not just your close friends and family looking for a listening ear or a problem solving session. I'm talking about random people in the grocery store or doctor's office. How about at work? Does everyone in your office look to you for the solutions? Are you the one always caught in the middle of family feuds and everyone expects you to resolve it? Do you have an issue with mediocrity? Like, when you are put on task, you can only crank out stellar results? Do you go to great lengths trying to help someone we great? So much so that it seems that you want greater for them than they want for themselves? Are you constantly looking for ways to improve.......everything? Have you been challenged with doing a job better than someone else and you actually did it better?

If you answered yes to 90% of those questions, then you wear "The Crown". Don't cry. I know, it's a hard life. But, because you are awesome, you wouldn't have it any other way. You are the person that gets rewarded with more responsibility at work because you're so good at what you do. They know you will be top notch with more. You proof read your friends' and family's resumes. You get put on planning committees for family reunions and baby showers even when you insist on not being involved. You will eventually be the glue that keeps your family together when your parents pass and your parents know this. Your significant other looks to you when there is a disaster because history has shown that you can fix anything.

You may not have ever thought of it this way, but it is all your fault. If you weren't so good at everything, no one would look to you for help, input or guidance. It's a simple theory. No one begs Aunt Carolyn to bring those nasty biscuits to holiday dinner every year if they're nasty the first year. They ask Aunt Helen to make them because Aunt Helen's biscuits are delicious. She does a great job with each and every batch.

How do you cope with wearing the crown? You must have outlets. These can be regular outings with other crown wearers. You can bounce other Crown-like ideas off of each other. Maybe have a rant session about how draining it is to be so awesome everyday. LOL! This is the only place ranting is allowed.  Therapy is a good one. Therapist are trained professionals who can suggest clinically proven methods to fit your personality and lifestyle. Don't sleep on therapy. A few good therapy sessions can keep your anxiety levels low for years to come. Reading, shopping, traveling, cuddling, laying on the couch......pretty much anything that you do strictly for your own enjoyment can be used as an outlet.

Here are 5Linx to maintaining your sanity while you sport your precious crown:

1. Never reduce your standards. You wear the crown because you are great and no one can take that away from you.
2. Be kind but firm. We have to maintain our high level of expectations. However, we can communicate in warm tones. Season your words with salt. They will be received better.
3. The word "no" should be an integral part of your vocabulary. Your peace of mind is your most valuable asset. Some times you have to say "no" in order to maintain that.
4. Help out where your help is deserved. Sometimes we want to lend a helping hand where we see a need but we know our efforts will not be appreciated. Never allow people to take your efforts to be wasted.
5. Always look for the silver lining. Perspective is EVERYTHING. Having a positive outlook can completely change the outcome of a situation for the better.

When you accept your "Fancy" crown, it comes with benefits as well as challenges. Wear your crown with pride but remember to utilize your outlets to maintain your own happiness. If you wear a crown and feel the need to collaborate with others who wear the same crown, text WOODS to 55469. 

Until next time, wear your "Fancy" crown with pride....

The Fancy Lane

A wise man, my daddy, once told me, "The more education you get, the more you know about less and less." When he first said that to me, I was scratching my head like "Whaaaa???" Then one day it hit me.
I am a certified specialist in my field. I know a whole lot about one subject, but I don't know everything about everything. What I do know is how to use my resources to find the information I need. People come to me with questions because I'm the "expert". There are plenty of times when I have to say "Let me look in the reference manual." It's called being resourceful. Being resourceful can be as simple as going to Google when you aren't sure how to spell a word, knowing which textbook to refer to before making major decision for your office, or having a relationship with your neighbor who can get you discounted parts for your car. All viable resources. The key is, knowing when to tap into them.

It is very important to recognize your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, things we aren't so good at. People have way more respect for you when you can say "I do not know" and get back to them after consulting your resources than when you "fake the funk". No one wants to be around a know it all. What's worse than a know it all? A know it all who doesn't know what they're talking about.

The most effective leaders and successful business owners are great delegators. They know that people are resources and utilize them to accomplish a goal. People are one of the most valuable resources you can utilize. In work environments, you establish respect with your "team", so that you know things will get done with integrity when you delegate. Does the president lead a military attack? No. That task is delegated to the military experts. He simply gives the instruction. In business, you establish relationships with people by offering support for others so they will be willing to work with you if that option ever comes around. I mean, why do you think Beyoncé has a glam squad? She stays in her lane, focusing on making music and performing because she hired people to handle hair, make up, and wardrobe. She gives them her vision, they make it happen. Everyone in their lane, working together to make up the perfect team. My father does great with sheet rock and painting but when it comes to electricity and plumbing, he calls in an electrician and a plumber. He knows his limits and when to call for help. Better to do that than to electrocute himself.

I'm not suggesting that you never try to do anything new. If you are pursuing new interests, I recommend seeking guidance from someone who knows what they're doing. A mentor of sorts. Then LISTEN to what they say. DO what they tell you to do. Do NOT do what they tell you to avoid. When I planned my first big event, I asked my expert event planning friend for advice. When she told me what to do, I did exactly what she said to do. I asked questions when I needed clarification. I knew I didn't know what I was doing the first time around. Event planning wasn't my lane. And you know what? I had an epic event because of it.

The point is, when you have a craft, perfect it. Become an expert who is resourceful but not a "know it all". Stay in your lane. Do not try to do everything when you are leading a team. Delegate tasks to people who can do that job better than you can. When starting new ventures, ask an expert and stick to their instructions until you feel comfortable doing it on your own.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life....in your lane.