What Are You Worried About?

We all love a good Louis Vuitton but a missing head light
is a safety hazard. Should we be worried about that instead?

The African-American community is always being criticized for something. Usually it's for worrying about the wrong things. You know standing in line for Black Friday but not showing up for Parent-Teacher conference night. Up early to get the latest release of Jordan's but not showing up to vote. Mother's criticized for making sure their weave is tight but there's no food in the refrigerator for their kids to eat breakfast before they go to school. There is nothing wrong with want to look nice and to have nice things but when there's no balance and that's your only concern, we need to assess why we are worried about the wrong things.

I'm not sure if there is a simple solution. As I struggle in helping my younger sisters grow into adulthood, I find myself saying the same things to them over and over. "You are not supposed to have what I have right now. I have paid my dues and have worked hard. You are still working. It will happen, just not now." Social media and reality TV have a lot to do with it. We live in a microwave society. Everyone wants instant gratification for minimal efforts. While healthy competition is nice, there is a problem when you go to great lengths just to "out do" someone. I'm "fancy" because that's just me, I don't live my life trying do something bigger than the next person.

Youngsters want the "Fancy Life" but don't want to go through the years of training and hard work to get it. Worrying about what their lifestyle looks like instead of creating a stable foundation to sustain it. Fast money. Fast cars. Lavish lifestyle. Then it all comes crashing down and we're left in a constant state of struggle. It all starts with exposure. Our kids are being exposed to a lifestyle without being exposed to the hard work, sacrifice, discipline and tenacity it takes to get to live that lifestyle. A phrase I like to use is "shooting in the gym". Ask any successful athlete how much time they spend training during the season and off season and they'll tell you "all day". Like, literally 8-10 hours TRAINING!!! The same goes for any career. You gotta put in that WORK to get ahead at whatever you do.

Sean "P. Diddy" or "Puff Daddy" Combs worked for FREE as an intern before he got his shot. That is work without pay. Modern day slavery. LOL! I kid. But he was getting paid in knowledge. Some people are so concerned with being seen in a certain light that they forget that money comes and goes, just like things, but knowledge is the gift that keeps on giving. Did you know that Kim Kardashian was an assistant to many
celebrities before she became one herself? Let that sink in. Kim Kardashian, the lady with the multi-million dollar empire, was an assistant, running errands and picking out clothes BEFORE she became a household name. It does not happen overnight. But if you push through the times that seem like struggle, you will make it and know what it takes to keep it.

Are you worrying about the wrong things? How you're going to pay your credit card bills that are maxed out from purchasing things? Are you focused on being great at all costs? When you are great, no matter what your specialty is, money will come and you will always be able to buy the things you really want to buy. The Fancy Life is the fruit of our labor, we ain't doing this for the "Gram".

Until next time, continue focusing on being great in your Fancy life.

Are you on the verge of breakthrough? Let us help you map out your plan and "do the work" to help you make your life even more "Fancy" than it already is. Text WOODS to 55469.

Black Women And Their Hair

I love being a sistah! Like, I love being a black woman in America. We have our struggles but we are so free to be who we want to be here when you compare our lifestyle to some other cultures. I was blessed to be raised by powerful, motivated, black, female entrepreneurs. My mother named me Iyonna Hazel, after my Aunt Hazel, who treated me more like a grandchild than a great niece. My namesake, Aunt Hazel, was a black woman in the 60's who owned a salon. She owned the building and the business. The beauty industry generates billions of dollars in the United States and it was one of the first industries that allowed black women to partake in making millions. Madame C. J. Walker was the FIRST African-American woman millionaire turned philanthropist, self made in the beauty business selling hair products. I digress....

All of my family who lived in Baltimore worked in Aunt Hazel's salon. I think the name of it was Cosmos, but

Mama Fancy in her college days.
1970 something

we all called it "The Shop". Aunt Hazel's daughter worked at The Shop. My mother apprenticed at The Shop. She paid her way through college by working there as a stylist. My older cousins worked at The Shop, cleaning up, doing laundry, and running errands. Even I worked at The Shop, giving little $5 manicures at the tender age of 8 years old in the summers and on the weekends I spent with my beloved Aunt Hazel. So, I know the inner working of a salon. I grew up in one.

Aunt Hazel has since passed. But not before paying cash to build her retirement home from money made in The Shop and selling her business. I never really understood the advantages I had by growing around these things. I learned hustle and entrepreneurship. I got to listen in on mature conversations that taught me life lessons at an early age. My hair was always done. My hair was always healthy. My hair was always kind of long because of these things. It didn't hit me until I stopped relaxing my hair that black women have a "thing" with their hair.

When I was in graduate school, I worked part time in a salon doing natural hair, mostly braiding and loc maintenance. I was the only one. All the others specialized in "regular" hair styling. We had one stylist who was highly sought after for his weave and styling expertise. He was REALLY good and was usually booked. I was appalled when I would hear the receptionist getting cussed out because he did not have any appointments available. It was so crazy to me. I'd think "Is it that serious?" Apparently, it is. I just could never relate. I honestly felt like we have a serious problem in this society if people are enraged when they can't get a hair appointment or a pair of sneakers for that matter.

Styles Salons
One and only weave for my wedding by the
hair weave killah, Dariel

I got a relaxer when I was 11 because all my friends had relaxers and my mom was straightening my hair anyway, so what was the big deal? This made it easier, right? My mom has Indian in her family, literally. She was Pocahontas in her college years. Perfect brown skin and long flow-y hair down her back, no relaxer. Aunt Hazel churned out perfect bouffants and press & curls for years. That's just what black women did. We straightened and styled our hair. It seemed that a large majority of black women wanted long, flow-y hair and would stop at nothing to get it. Enduring chemical burns on the scalp, burned ears from curling iron or hot comb, hours under the dryer, pulling and tugging so much that the hairline recedes from the tension, and let's not forget the MONEY and TIME spent in the salon. Or basement. Or kitchen. All to achieve something that Jehovah never really intended for us.

If I were meant to have a brown complexion, I'd have a brown complexion. Other than tanning in the summer, I don't invest time and effort into making my skin looking like something it's not. If I were meant to be 6 feet tall, I'd be 6 feet tall. Other than wearing heels, which I do for style and not to look taller, I don't invest time and money in to trying to make myself taller. If my hair was meant to be long and flow-y, it would grow long and flow-y from my scalp. Why did I spend so much time trying to make my hair do something it was never intended to do?

As a "natural", I straighten my hair once a year in the winter. Just because. The rest of the year, I style my hair in it's natural texture. I know what styles work for me and my hair. Even with natural hair, I don't look to make my hair look like someone else's natural hair. I don't do much to my hair, I never did. Even when I had a relaxer, I did a wash and roller set once a week, if that roller set turned out kinda janky, oh well, I would have janky hair for the week. Same with my hair now, I style it bi-weekly and I just make adjustments to the hairstyle as the weeks go on. It's so funny to me that when I think my hair looks crazy, I still get compliments.

When I was 21, I told my mother I was going to stop getting a relaxer. She asked me why. I was a dumb 21 year old, I didn't have a legitimate answer other than I wanted big hair. LOL! So I continued to get relaxers

Wash and go "faux hawk"
After a year of transitioning

for 7 more years. Then I had a talk with my husband and we both decided it was time. Wearing my hair in it's natural texture is a personal choice. Even if you choose to wear your hair straight, with modern technology and advances in products, you don't have to straighten your hair with chemicals. We are all in a place of health consciousness. We are eating healthy, clean and organic. Why put chemicals on your body if you're making a conscious effort not to put them in your body? Just something to think about.

I hurt for black women who look at my hair with admiration and say "I wish I could wear my hair like that?" or "I wish I could go natural?" Who told them that they can't? The reasons I hear make me sad. They don't think they can wear their hair like that to work. Their hair is too nappy. They don't have time to style it. If your job has an issue with you wearing your hair the way it grows out of your head, you probably need to consider a new job. And if they fire you or limit your opportunities because of a choice of hairstyle, they know they will have some class action discrimination cases coming their way. What is nappy hair anyway? My hair seems nappy sometimes too. Usually when it's dry. Look at the products you're putting in your hair, there's probably some form of alcohol in it. Alcohol dries your hair out, making you think it's nappy and unmanageable when it's not. For those who really want to go without relaxers, take a good look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. What are you REALLY afraid of? And just how much time do you spend in the salon again? Oh.

Dry Twist Out after 3 years of being "natural"

All I'm saying is, you are beautiful just the way you are. Your hair is beautiful. Long and flow-y. Short and sleek. Loose curls. Tight curls aka *whispers* kinky. It's all beautiful because it's yours. Own it. Jehovah made you that way. Beautiful and in his image. Do what makes you feel beautiful but do it for you. Going through all those changes to alter your hair doesn't make you anymore beautiful than you already are.

Long, short, curly, kinky, or straight.....live your Fancy Life, embracing who you were meant to be.

Shameless Plug Alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest Fancy Free happenings.

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Ice. Cold.

A very close friend of mine modified my "nickname" by adding Ice Cold to it. So, sometimes he calls me "Ice" or "Ice Cold Fancy". We laugh about it because it's really not true. Well, it's not all the way true. My college roommate says I'm the most generous person she knows. I will give my last, even when that means I have to go without. I go above and beyond. People close to me benefit from my generosity. But what does that mean for me? Because all actions have repercussions...good and bad.

How can being generous, loving and caring have a negative consequences? I'll tell you how. I get hurt. I get hurt badly. I get hurt badly....repeatedly by people I love. I do things for people I love because I love them. I do for people I don't know because I'm caring. And it's totally out of the kindness of my heart. I get hurt when I feel like my actions are not appreciated. I know everyone isn't vocal and can't express themselves with words. Those people usually show appreciation with small gestures. I know I am appreciated. That's all I ask. Just show appreciation the best way you can.

Now, I am not going to let people change who I am at my core. Jehovah made me this way. I am genuine. Jesus taught us to love one another. I am loving. However, I will not continue to put myself in positions to get hurt. I am a strong believer that you teach people how to treat you. If I accept treatment that hurts me, the offender will continue to hurt me. It's a proven fact. So, I will love, support, treat, buy, chauffeur....you name it. I will do it for you. The very minute I am hurt, I expect accountability. Own it and apologize. I am forgiving. We are all human. I can't expect someone to forgive me when I have wronged them when I am not willing to forgive them. HOWEVER, if the offender is not willing to take my feelings into account and apologize for how their actions or lack there of effected me.....my eyes are opened. I realize that person will have to be loved from a distance. You will no longer reap the benefits of "loving" Fancy. You get cordial, professional Ice Cold Fancy. Take it personal. It's a defense mechanism. I have to protect myself because no human being cares more about me....than I do.

Having a big heart sometimes allows me to get hurt. However, I never stop loving people that I truly love. But I will not continually subject myself to poor treatment. Call me Ice Cold. I just don't want to become bitter and lash out on people who don't deserve it because someone else in my life didn't want to be held accountable for how they hurt me. I pull the weeds from the root and continue to enjoy my Fancy life. Unbothered. Loving fun. Giving freely. Performing random acts of kindness. While those who didn't prove to deserve that from me only see Ice Cold.

Until next time. Stay away from those people who hurt you repeatedly and enjoy your Fancy life.....without them.

Fancy First Impressions

Human beings are judgemental. God says do not judge but guess what. We are designed in His image and guess what God does....judge people. LOL! Most Christians will say that they aren't judgemental but the truth is that we all do it. When you walk into a room full of people that you have never met before and every last one of them will form an opinion about your before you even say two words. That's just the God's honest truth.

This why first impressions are important. Granny was giving us great advice when she told us to always put our best foot forward. My mother came from a generation of prim and proper debutants. Hats, gloves, corsets, and not one hair out of place. I grew up being required to get dressed when I left the house. No "throwing something on". Hair had to be combed. Why? Because you never know who you'll run into when once you step out. You could meet your soul mate. You could run into Oprah. You could meet a potential business partner. I mean, isn't it an awesome feeling when you run into an ex and you look GREAT?  You really NEVER know.

I take first impressions very seriously. Even when I'm dressed down, I try to look fashionable. I don't always wear makeup but I usually keep my lipgloss popping. Hair is another story. Mainly because wild hair is in. Wild hair is my signature. All my hairs are out of place but my hair is always clean and in some cute style, even if it's a wild fro. No pajama pants. No bonnets. If I'm wearing work out clothes, I don't smell like I've come from the gym. Point is, I take effort to look presentable, even when I'm not done up. You won't catch me slippin. Nope.

Outward appearance is just a part of it. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language say just as much about you as your clothing. I am a business woman, so I always have a million things going on in my brain at any point in time. My "deep in thought" look can come off as a scowl and makes me look unapproachable.  I make a conscious effort to smile when I enter a room and to say hello when I make eye contact with a stranger. I try to appear jolly and nice because, well, I am. I wouldn't want to deter anyone who may want to strike up a convo with me about my shoes because they think I'm a mean girl. After all, I am in the business of making friends. Smiles are contagious. It's amazing how an attractive person smiling at you when you're having a bad day can change your outlook on that day. Finally, I am aware of the way I talk to people. The way you say things is very important. While I am big on customer service, you will more than likely have a better experience when you are nice to the person helping you.

It is totally fine to not care what people think of you. How likely is it that you will run into those people who witnessed you going off on the cashier in Marshalls ever again? Highly unlikely but it could happen. Imagine walking into your dream job interview and your potential manager remembers you as the crazy lady in Marshalls. Their first impression of you was made in Marshalls when you were acting a plum fool, not at the interview. What people think matters then, right?

First impressions matter. Look presentable. Be pleasant. You never know who is watching you.

Until next time, keep your first impressions Fancy.

Fun Loving Fancy

Fun at a foam party

So you wanna roll with me, do you? There are rules to this Fancy Life. Levels to this, if you will.
I'm just kidding. There is only one stipulation for hanging with me. You must love fun. Why? Well, because I love fun. Seems like a simple concept but some can make it way more complicated than it has to be. I'm all about good, wholesome, clean activities. I will try almost anything once, as long as it is within my moral code.

Last summer, my college friends and I were planning a surprise bachelorette getaway for my college roommate, who loves fun. There were seven of us emailing back and forth about the plans for the weekend. The maid of honor, who also loves fun, mentioned that going to the strip club would be one of the activities for the weekend. The bride had requested witnessing a Magic Mike type of male exotic dancer experience. Now, I am not into exotic dancers ESPECIALLY not male exotic dancers but it was at the bride's request, so I'm just like "Alright. Cool." I love fun. I can make the best of it or just meet them at the next spot after the strip club. However, there was one in the group that went off about this particular activity. She went on and on about how exotic dancers are disgusting and how she would not participate in the ENTIRE trip if it meant being at the strip club for 2 hours was on the agenda. Mind you, there was no touching allowed in this particular establishment. We were all taken aback by how harsh and negative she was. You could hear the crickets chirping through the email. A few minutes later, the maid of honor responded to the rest of us saying a simple phrase that resonates with us to this day. The maid of honor said, "Sooooo guys....she hates fun." We still laugh about "She hates fun." Needless to say, that young lady did not attend the trip. While she was invited to the wedding, we didn't invite her to the pre-wedding pajama party in the bridal suite either. Tee hee.
Moral of the story: If you want to be invited, don't hate fun.

I can have fun anywhere, in any situation. Which is probably why we never have any problems getting people to our house parties. Honestly, anyone can get people to come to their house to eat and drink for free. When you are a true "Fancy Fun Lover", you also get invited to cool events that fun haters don't even know about. You become all of your friends' default date because they know that you are one person they can have fun with if their "boo" can't make it. I'm not just talking dates to happy hour. I'm talking movies, dinners, weddings, black tie events, sold out concerts, exclusive fundraisers.....the list goes on and on. Most recently, I was a default date to Coachella. How's that for awesome?

Be Fancy. Be someone that person you would want to spend time with. No one wants to party with a Party Pooper or have dinner with a Debbie Downer. You'll be surprised the doors that open for you by just being an enjoyable person. Opportunity awaits the optimistic.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life.