But it's hard.....

When I was about 10 years old, I was extremely active. Piano lessons, modern dance, karate, basketball team, girl scouts and let's not forget church activities. I'm talking ushering, choir, and any community volunteering activities offered. I specifically remember aching pains in my knees whenever I participated in any physical activity. It happened so often that my parents took me to the doctor to see what was wrong with me. The doctor diagnosed me with "growing pains". What the heck is that?!?! My grandmother could have told me that. I eventually stopped experiencing that pain in my knees and I reached a disappointing height of 5'4", shattering my dreams of becoming a runway model. LOL! However, life still had some "growing pains" for me to experience. While I stopped growing physically, I had a long way to go in this thing called life. I went through typical high school/teenage girl drama. I learned some valuable lessons about love and money while in undergrad.

When I was 24 years old, I started graduate school. I had taken a year off from school after completing two undergraduate programs and was working full time at night. I purposely took a night shift position so that I could pursue my Masters degree in Forensic Science full time during the day, so not to take longer than necessary to complete the program. This proved to be one of the most difficult times in my life. I had just purchased a house and moved out of my parents' home. So I went from being surrounded by people, love and lots of noise to nothing. Silence. No one to wash my clothes, cook dinner, wash the dishes, talk to, sit and watch tv with. Nothing. I didn't realize how depressing that was, even though my parents checked on my everyday because I had only moved 5 blocks down the street. LOL! I was working at night in a pretty stressful environment. The work itself could be stressful but it didn't help that the people I worked with had preconceived notions about my abilities because of my appearance. You get my drift? The director of my graduate program gave me a hard time about working full time while I was in school. Like, literally called me in his office to tell me that I shouldn't be working while I'm in his program. All of these factors led to a monthly conversation with my daddy about me quitting school. My dad made sure I didn't quit when it got hard. I graduated from graduate school on time.

What did he say in those monthly conversations? To sum it up, he said, "Life is hard. Five years from now, you'll look back at your life and think 'I went through that and it wasn't so bad.' If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and everyone can't be in charge." 

And he was so right. The work and school drama I was going through at the time totally trumped not having a date to my senior prom. And the anxiety of not knowing who I was taking to my senior prom overshadowed the devastation of getting an Unsatisfactory on my progress report for Algebra I in the ninth grade. We live and we grow. It hurts at the time but when we get through it, we have grown in the process. If you aren't growing, you're dying.

I am an ambitious person. I reached my career goals in record time. Now I am on to the next phase of my life. I am working on something completely out of my comfort zone. It is a different kind of challenge. Challenge = HARD!!! But I hold my father's words near my heart. I can see the growth in my personal development and bank account as a result of it, so I know it's worth it. 

If you are dealing with a situation that seems "hard", push through. Congratulations, you are growing! Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside of your comfort zone. If you are contemplating making a change in your life but you are afraid that it may be difficult for you, dive in head first, it will always be hard if you never get started. Whatever it is, being scared of it is a sign that it's something you should strongly consider. Jehovah created us to be great. Remember, the easy thing to do is usually what the majority of people do. But we are living the Fancy Life, so we want more. We are exceptional. We do what's hard now and it eventually becomes easy. We can add these accomplishments to our list and move on to the next set of challenges, building your confidence along the way.

No, living a Fancy Life isn't always easy but it's definitely worth it in the end.

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Until next time......

Never Let Them See You Sweat

What were thinking when we decided to become adults? No. Seriously. What were we thinking? Being a responsible adult is stressful. Between dealing with family, work, and relationships, you hardly have any time to yourself to wrap your head around everything that you are doing. Then it happens, some catastrophe comes along out of nowhere and you feel a nervous breakdown coming on. What do you do? Welp. It depends. I've seen stressful situations handled in many different ways. The shut down and can't move forward. Others just breakdown and cry. I've watched someone just act like nothing ever happen. I have dealt with these types of situations in several different ways. Well, two different ways.

1. I shut my office door or go in my closet or go to my car and have a good cry. Only for a little bit. I give myself 30 minutes.
   
   After that's done, I get myself together, touch up my face, and handle my business.
2. I handle my business without a glitch. When it is all done, if I'm still overwhelmed, I shut my office door or go in my closet or go to my car and have a good cry.

Notice how my business always get's handled. Emotions should never effect you getting your coin. Why? Because if you missed your money in the name of a feeling, that missed opportunity cannot be retrieved. You will never have a bad feeling when you're getting paid. Trust me.

Have you ever seen a duck or swan swimming? They look like they're just gliding along. However, under water, those feet are paddling as if their life depends on it. When you are facing adversity, everyone does not need to see you panic. If you are living the "Fancy Life", you know people are watching and taking notes. Your "Get it done" mindset can flow through you and drip on your colleagues, creating a winning team attitude. This is what living a Fancy Life is all about. Being a pilar of light in the darkness. You solve the problem with your head held high and when no ones looking, cry like a baby now that it's OVER. Notice, cry once it's over but it's ok to breakdown. Never let your emotions stall your productivity.

Until next time, never let anyone see you sweat. You're living a Fancy Life and you don't sweat....in public.

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"I'm a groooowwwnnn woman, I do whatever I want...."

Have you ever tried something different? And I don't mean a new nail polish color. I mean something reeeeeaaallllyyy different. Like, going from long flowing hair to a really short haircut. Or maybe you decide to quit your job, sell all of your belongings, and move to Madagascar to become a missionary. What reaction do you get from people close to you when tell them your plans? You probably get questions that imply they think you're out of your mind. "You're gonna wear what?" "You're going WHERE for vacation? By yourself!?!?!" "You invested in what? Why?" Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Take that loving advice with a grain of salt and stick to what you know is good for you. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. What Jehovah has for you, is for you. Your lane is your lane. Sometimes people will deflect their own insecurities on you. In their minds, they are protecting you from certain dangers when in actuality, their concerns are based on their own fears. Take it in stride. They mean well.

In school we are penalized for making mistakes. Growing up we are usually taught not to participate in high risk activities. These are pertinent lessons when involving bodily harm or certain death but it usually spills over into how we process matters of intellect and finance. It is not common knowledge that most successful people in the world failed their way to success because all we see is the end result of all of their hard work. We don't see the idea board full of strategies that didn't work out so well. They took risks that most weren't willing to take, so they can live a life that most cannot even dream of living. Happy people don't let other's opinions stop them from doing what they want to do. Successful people do what they want and make their vision a reality.  Be a risk taker. Wear what makes you feel good about yourself. Stand your ground. Push limits. Don't just go with the flow. Ask why. If you don't like the answer, take strides to change it. Set unreasonable goals and plan to accomplish them. Decide what you want to do and do it.

Doing what you want to do is sooooo important. If you aren't solid in your own decisions, your decisions will become based on what everyone else thinks instead of the desires of your heart. Everyone close to you will be running your life. You will look up one day with someone else's idea of a successful career, sporting a hairstyle you never really liked, wearing a dress your mother picked out, driving a car your husband picked out for you instead of what you really wanted. If you are serious and stick to your guns, they will see why you are doing what you did. The proof is always in the pudding. You can show them better than you can tell them anyway. Then, instead of questioning your decisions, they will brag about how proud they are of you for living your dreams and being an individual.

Keep doing what you want to do, until next time....

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Shopping With Fancy

When living a Fancy Life, you have to keep your money where you can see it, IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT! I bet you thought I was going to say "in your closet" like our favorite Sex In The City character. Nope. Not me. In my household, we pride ourselves on a bargain. If I can score a $1600 handbag for $400, my husband is all for it. Everything has to be a deal or at least reasonably priced. The first rule of thumb is to never pay retail. Everything is negotiable. Somewhere, someone is trying to get rid of the very thing you're looking for at a price of little to nothing.

Budget:
You should ALWAYS have a budget when you are shopping. We like nice things and we work hard, so we deserve to treat ourselves every now and then. But being fancy doesn't require you breaking the bank to buy "things". There will always be some new handbag, dress, boot, sandal, etc. that you just HAVE to have. Avoid blowing your budget at all costs. There are a few exceptions to this rule but we typically stick with our budget.

Shopping in the Mall:

I try to avoid the mall at all costs. If I am in the mall, it's because I'm shopping for a special occasion at the last minute or I wanted a single cupcake. LOL! I generally go straight to the clearance section to peruse the sale. If I'm looking at regular priced merchandise, it's because I have a coupon or I know someone who is going to give me their employee discount. Although I try to avoid it, I sometimes have to pay full price for my husband's shoes. Men's shoes are so expensive and the styles never really change so they're hardly ever on sale. Womp! In any store, I grab everything I like until I can't find anything else. This can eliminate any "run backs". A "run back" is when you can't stop thinking about that thing you put back and decided you wanted it again. We try to avoid these because, usually, if you want it, some one else will too. I've had a few traumatizing experiences when I changed  my mind and tried to "run back", only to find my coveted item in
someone else's hands. *sigh* Once I have everything I like, I can begin the process of elimination.

Shopping Online:
I LOVE shopping online. You can find pretty much anything your little heart desires from the convenience of your couch and they bring it right to your doorstep within a day or two. I put everything I want in my cart, just like at the mall. Then I search the specific item to make sure I'm getting the best price. The cost of shipping can be a killer with online shopping. If I'm purchasing your item, I want it shipped for free. So, I think long and hard about if I'm going to purchase something if shipping is not free. There are very few instances when I will pay for shipping. The reason being is that someone, some where is willing to ship it for free. A lot of sites try to sucker you in by offering free shipping if you spend a certain amount. It's a trap!!! don't let them get you! You will end up spending $100 to get free shipping all you really wanted was a $20 necklace. Then I do the process of elimination in my cart.

Process of Elimination:
At the mall or in store, this process begins in the fitting room. I dread the fitting room, but if I only budgeted for 2 dresses and I've picked up 8, something has got to give. Sometimes, what I thought was my size is not. Other times, what looks great on the hanger, doesn't look so hot on me. The fitting room usually eliminates at LEAST 1 item, if not more. Online, I look at shipping and the budget as well. Then I ask myself the following questions:

• Do I really NEED it?
• Is it in the budget?
• Is shipping free?
• Is this item worth paying for shipping?
• If it's not in the budget, will I be thinking about it next week if I don't get it?
• If it's not in the budget, is the deal of a lifetime that I will never see again?

The rule about breaking the budget is, if you're still going to be thinking about it next week, get it. If you will never see a price this low again, get it even if it's over budget. Other than that, put it back. You don't need it. Next week, you may see something you like even better and will be glad you held off the first go around.

You have to have money in the bank to live a Fancy Life, so keep it there. Always look for a bargain. When you go shopping, grab everything you like because it may not be available if you change your mind. Stay within your budget, unless you think that item will be haunting you forever if you don't get it. Things come and go. Don't break the bank acquiring them.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life...within your budget!

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WINNING!!!

I'm not sure who coined that phrase, but I must say....it's awesome!! Being able to look at a situation, no matter what it is and say "WINNING!!" can change your whole outlook on life. I do it all the time. Small victories. Big accomplishments. Why? Well, mainly because it's fun to say. You most certainly cannot say "WINNING!!" without making some big gesture with your arms and a goofy grin. Someone will randomly see you doing it, they will laugh and then you will laugh at yourself. Next thing you know, multiple people are laughing. You're "WINNING!" can start a laughing frenzy that completely changes someones frown upside down. The underlying goal is to always look for the good. You will find yourself being happy about life when everything you can think of is going wrong. Being happy is contagious.

WINNING! Solid food after completing a 3 day juice fast.

A few examples:
1. Your work archenemy has been sending you multiple emails that are making your blood boil and your reply shuts that little bugger up. WINNING!
2. You're carrying a plate, glass of water, silverware, napkins, cell phone, and tablet into the living room so that you can eat in peace while you text from your phone and tweet from your tablet. Then BOOM!! You drop your glass and water spills everywhere. WINNING! You still have your food. WINNING! Your phone and tablet didn't get wet. WINNING! It's only water, so you can let it air dry instead of having to mop. LOL!
3. You pass your certification exam that you've been studying to take for over a year. WINNING!
4. You miss your train. WINNING! You have time to sit down and have some restaurant food while you wait for the next one.
5. Your kids wash the dishes. They use half a bottle of detergent and leave the floor soaking wet. WINNING! The dishes are clean.

I could go on and on, but the point is that being optimistic about all circumstances makes life less stressful. You're free to be Fancy because you ain't worried about nothing. Take pride in seeing the rainbow after the thunderstorm and then pointing it out to everyone to enjoy. WINNING!

Until next time....

Fancy First Impressions

Human beings are judgemental. God says do not judge but guess what. We are designed in His image and guess what God does....judge people. LOL! Most Christians will say that they aren't judgemental but the truth is that we all do it. When you walk into a room full of people that you have never met before and every last one of them will form an opinion about your before you even say two words. That's just the God's honest truth.

This why first impressions are important. Granny was giving us great advice when she told us to always put our best foot forward. My mother came from a generation of prim and proper debutants. Hats, gloves, corsets, and not one hair out of place. I grew up being required to get dressed when I left the house. No "throwing something on". Hair had to be combed. Why? Because you never know who you'll run into when once you step out. You could meet your soul mate. You could run into Oprah. You could meet a potential business partner. I mean, isn't it an awesome feeling when you run into an ex and you look GREAT?  You really NEVER know.

I take first impressions very seriously. Even when I'm dressed down, I try to look fashionable. I don't always wear makeup but I usually keep my lipgloss popping. Hair is another story. Mainly because wild hair is in. Wild hair is my signature. All my hairs are out of place but my hair is always clean and in some cute style, even if it's a wild fro. No pajama pants. No bonnets. If I'm wearing work out clothes, I don't smell like I've come from the gym. Point is, I take effort to look presentable, even when I'm not done up. You won't catch me slippin. Nope.

Outward appearance is just a part of it. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language say just as much about you as your clothing. I am a business woman, so I always have a million things going on in my brain at any point in time. My "deep in thought" look can come off as a scowl and makes me look unapproachable.  I make a conscious effort to smile when I enter a room and to say hello when I make eye contact with a stranger. I try to appear jolly and nice because, well, I am. I wouldn't want to deter anyone who may want to strike up a convo with me about my shoes because they think I'm a mean girl. After all, I am in the business of making friends. Smiles are contagious. It's amazing how an attractive person smiling at you when you're having a bad day can change your outlook on that day. Finally, I am aware of the way I talk to people. The way you say things is very important. While I am big on customer service, you will more than likely have a better experience when you are nice to the person helping you.

It is totally fine to not care what people think of you. How likely is it that you will run into those people who witnessed you going off on the cashier in Marshalls ever again? Highly unlikely but it could happen. Imagine walking into your dream job interview and your potential manager remembers you as the crazy lady in Marshalls. Their first impression of you was made in Marshalls when you were acting a plum fool, not at the interview. What people think matters then, right?

First impressions matter. Look presentable. Be pleasant. You never know who is watching you.

Until next time, keep your first impressions Fancy.

The Fancy Lane

A wise man, my daddy, once told me, "The more education you get, the more you know about less and less." When he first said that to me, I was scratching my head like "Whaaaa???" Then one day it hit me.
I am a certified specialist in my field. I know a whole lot about one subject, but I don't know everything about everything. What I do know is how to use my resources to find the information I need. People come to me with questions because I'm the "expert". There are plenty of times when I have to say "Let me look in the reference manual." It's called being resourceful. Being resourceful can be as simple as going to Google when you aren't sure how to spell a word, knowing which textbook to refer to before making major decision for your office, or having a relationship with your neighbor who can get you discounted parts for your car. All viable resources. The key is, knowing when to tap into them.

It is very important to recognize your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, things we aren't so good at. People have way more respect for you when you can say "I do not know" and get back to them after consulting your resources than when you "fake the funk". No one wants to be around a know it all. What's worse than a know it all? A know it all who doesn't know what they're talking about.

The most effective leaders and successful business owners are great delegators. They know that people are resources and utilize them to accomplish a goal. People are one of the most valuable resources you can utilize. In work environments, you establish respect with your "team", so that you know things will get done with integrity when you delegate. Does the president lead a military attack? No. That task is delegated to the military experts. He simply gives the instruction. In business, you establish relationships with people by offering support for others so they will be willing to work with you if that option ever comes around. I mean, why do you think Beyoncé has a glam squad? She stays in her lane, focusing on making music and performing because she hired people to handle hair, make up, and wardrobe. She gives them her vision, they make it happen. Everyone in their lane, working together to make up the perfect team. My father does great with sheet rock and painting but when it comes to electricity and plumbing, he calls in an electrician and a plumber. He knows his limits and when to call for help. Better to do that than to electrocute himself.

I'm not suggesting that you never try to do anything new. If you are pursuing new interests, I recommend seeking guidance from someone who knows what they're doing. A mentor of sorts. Then LISTEN to what they say. DO what they tell you to do. Do NOT do what they tell you to avoid. When I planned my first big event, I asked my expert event planning friend for advice. When she told me what to do, I did exactly what she said to do. I asked questions when I needed clarification. I knew I didn't know what I was doing the first time around. Event planning wasn't my lane. And you know what? I had an epic event because of it.

The point is, when you have a craft, perfect it. Become an expert who is resourceful but not a "know it all". Stay in your lane. Do not try to do everything when you are leading a team. Delegate tasks to people who can do that job better than you can. When starting new ventures, ask an expert and stick to their instructions until you feel comfortable doing it on your own.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life....in your lane.