"I'm a groooowwwnnn woman, I do whatever I want...."

Have you ever tried something different? And I don't mean a new nail polish color. I mean something reeeeeaaallllyyy different. Like, going from long flowing hair to a really short haircut. Or maybe you decide to quit your job, sell all of your belongings, and move to Madagascar to become a missionary. What reaction do you get from people close to you when tell them your plans? You probably get questions that imply they think you're out of your mind. "You're gonna wear what?" "You're going WHERE for vacation? By yourself!?!?!" "You invested in what? Why?" Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Take that loving advice with a grain of salt and stick to what you know is good for you. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. What Jehovah has for you, is for you. Your lane is your lane. Sometimes people will deflect their own insecurities on you. In their minds, they are protecting you from certain dangers when in actuality, their concerns are based on their own fears. Take it in stride. They mean well.

In school we are penalized for making mistakes. Growing up we are usually taught not to participate in high risk activities. These are pertinent lessons when involving bodily harm or certain death but it usually spills over into how we process matters of intellect and finance. It is not common knowledge that most successful people in the world failed their way to success because all we see is the end result of all of their hard work. We don't see the idea board full of strategies that didn't work out so well. They took risks that most weren't willing to take, so they can live a life that most cannot even dream of living. Happy people don't let other's opinions stop them from doing what they want to do. Successful people do what they want and make their vision a reality.  Be a risk taker. Wear what makes you feel good about yourself. Stand your ground. Push limits. Don't just go with the flow. Ask why. If you don't like the answer, take strides to change it. Set unreasonable goals and plan to accomplish them. Decide what you want to do and do it.

Doing what you want to do is sooooo important. If you aren't solid in your own decisions, your decisions will become based on what everyone else thinks instead of the desires of your heart. Everyone close to you will be running your life. You will look up one day with someone else's idea of a successful career, sporting a hairstyle you never really liked, wearing a dress your mother picked out, driving a car your husband picked out for you instead of what you really wanted. If you are serious and stick to your guns, they will see why you are doing what you did. The proof is always in the pudding. You can show them better than you can tell them anyway. Then, instead of questioning your decisions, they will brag about how proud they are of you for living your dreams and being an individual.

Keep doing what you want to do, until next time....

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Shopping With Fancy

When living a Fancy Life, you have to keep your money where you can see it, IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT! I bet you thought I was going to say "in your closet" like our favorite Sex In The City character. Nope. Not me. In my household, we pride ourselves on a bargain. If I can score a $1600 handbag for $400, my husband is all for it. Everything has to be a deal or at least reasonably priced. The first rule of thumb is to never pay retail. Everything is negotiable. Somewhere, someone is trying to get rid of the very thing you're looking for at a price of little to nothing.

Budget:
You should ALWAYS have a budget when you are shopping. We like nice things and we work hard, so we deserve to treat ourselves every now and then. But being fancy doesn't require you breaking the bank to buy "things". There will always be some new handbag, dress, boot, sandal, etc. that you just HAVE to have. Avoid blowing your budget at all costs. There are a few exceptions to this rule but we typically stick with our budget.

Shopping in the Mall:

I try to avoid the mall at all costs. If I am in the mall, it's because I'm shopping for a special occasion at the last minute or I wanted a single cupcake. LOL! I generally go straight to the clearance section to peruse the sale. If I'm looking at regular priced merchandise, it's because I have a coupon or I know someone who is going to give me their employee discount. Although I try to avoid it, I sometimes have to pay full price for my husband's shoes. Men's shoes are so expensive and the styles never really change so they're hardly ever on sale. Womp! In any store, I grab everything I like until I can't find anything else. This can eliminate any "run backs". A "run back" is when you can't stop thinking about that thing you put back and decided you wanted it again. We try to avoid these because, usually, if you want it, some one else will too. I've had a few traumatizing experiences when I changed  my mind and tried to "run back", only to find my coveted item in
someone else's hands. *sigh* Once I have everything I like, I can begin the process of elimination.

Shopping Online:
I LOVE shopping online. You can find pretty much anything your little heart desires from the convenience of your couch and they bring it right to your doorstep within a day or two. I put everything I want in my cart, just like at the mall. Then I search the specific item to make sure I'm getting the best price. The cost of shipping can be a killer with online shopping. If I'm purchasing your item, I want it shipped for free. So, I think long and hard about if I'm going to purchase something if shipping is not free. There are very few instances when I will pay for shipping. The reason being is that someone, some where is willing to ship it for free. A lot of sites try to sucker you in by offering free shipping if you spend a certain amount. It's a trap!!! don't let them get you! You will end up spending $100 to get free shipping all you really wanted was a $20 necklace. Then I do the process of elimination in my cart.

Process of Elimination:
At the mall or in store, this process begins in the fitting room. I dread the fitting room, but if I only budgeted for 2 dresses and I've picked up 8, something has got to give. Sometimes, what I thought was my size is not. Other times, what looks great on the hanger, doesn't look so hot on me. The fitting room usually eliminates at LEAST 1 item, if not more. Online, I look at shipping and the budget as well. Then I ask myself the following questions:

• Do I really NEED it?
• Is it in the budget?
• Is shipping free?
• Is this item worth paying for shipping?
• If it's not in the budget, will I be thinking about it next week if I don't get it?
• If it's not in the budget, is the deal of a lifetime that I will never see again?

The rule about breaking the budget is, if you're still going to be thinking about it next week, get it. If you will never see a price this low again, get it even if it's over budget. Other than that, put it back. You don't need it. Next week, you may see something you like even better and will be glad you held off the first go around.

You have to have money in the bank to live a Fancy Life, so keep it there. Always look for a bargain. When you go shopping, grab everything you like because it may not be available if you change your mind. Stay within your budget, unless you think that item will be haunting you forever if you don't get it. Things come and go. Don't break the bank acquiring them.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life...within your budget!

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WINNING!!!

I'm not sure who coined that phrase, but I must say....it's awesome!! Being able to look at a situation, no matter what it is and say "WINNING!!" can change your whole outlook on life. I do it all the time. Small victories. Big accomplishments. Why? Well, mainly because it's fun to say. You most certainly cannot say "WINNING!!" without making some big gesture with your arms and a goofy grin. Someone will randomly see you doing it, they will laugh and then you will laugh at yourself. Next thing you know, multiple people are laughing. You're "WINNING!" can start a laughing frenzy that completely changes someones frown upside down. The underlying goal is to always look for the good. You will find yourself being happy about life when everything you can think of is going wrong. Being happy is contagious.

WINNING! Solid food after completing a 3 day juice fast.

A few examples:
1. Your work archenemy has been sending you multiple emails that are making your blood boil and your reply shuts that little bugger up. WINNING!
2. You're carrying a plate, glass of water, silverware, napkins, cell phone, and tablet into the living room so that you can eat in peace while you text from your phone and tweet from your tablet. Then BOOM!! You drop your glass and water spills everywhere. WINNING! You still have your food. WINNING! Your phone and tablet didn't get wet. WINNING! It's only water, so you can let it air dry instead of having to mop. LOL!
3. You pass your certification exam that you've been studying to take for over a year. WINNING!
4. You miss your train. WINNING! You have time to sit down and have some restaurant food while you wait for the next one.
5. Your kids wash the dishes. They use half a bottle of detergent and leave the floor soaking wet. WINNING! The dishes are clean.

I could go on and on, but the point is that being optimistic about all circumstances makes life less stressful. You're free to be Fancy because you ain't worried about nothing. Take pride in seeing the rainbow after the thunderstorm and then pointing it out to everyone to enjoy. WINNING!

Until next time....

Fancy First Impressions

Human beings are judgemental. God says do not judge but guess what. We are designed in His image and guess what God does....judge people. LOL! Most Christians will say that they aren't judgemental but the truth is that we all do it. When you walk into a room full of people that you have never met before and every last one of them will form an opinion about your before you even say two words. That's just the God's honest truth.

This why first impressions are important. Granny was giving us great advice when she told us to always put our best foot forward. My mother came from a generation of prim and proper debutants. Hats, gloves, corsets, and not one hair out of place. I grew up being required to get dressed when I left the house. No "throwing something on". Hair had to be combed. Why? Because you never know who you'll run into when once you step out. You could meet your soul mate. You could run into Oprah. You could meet a potential business partner. I mean, isn't it an awesome feeling when you run into an ex and you look GREAT?  You really NEVER know.

I take first impressions very seriously. Even when I'm dressed down, I try to look fashionable. I don't always wear makeup but I usually keep my lipgloss popping. Hair is another story. Mainly because wild hair is in. Wild hair is my signature. All my hairs are out of place but my hair is always clean and in some cute style, even if it's a wild fro. No pajama pants. No bonnets. If I'm wearing work out clothes, I don't smell like I've come from the gym. Point is, I take effort to look presentable, even when I'm not done up. You won't catch me slippin. Nope.

Outward appearance is just a part of it. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language say just as much about you as your clothing. I am a business woman, so I always have a million things going on in my brain at any point in time. My "deep in thought" look can come off as a scowl and makes me look unapproachable.  I make a conscious effort to smile when I enter a room and to say hello when I make eye contact with a stranger. I try to appear jolly and nice because, well, I am. I wouldn't want to deter anyone who may want to strike up a convo with me about my shoes because they think I'm a mean girl. After all, I am in the business of making friends. Smiles are contagious. It's amazing how an attractive person smiling at you when you're having a bad day can change your outlook on that day. Finally, I am aware of the way I talk to people. The way you say things is very important. While I am big on customer service, you will more than likely have a better experience when you are nice to the person helping you.

It is totally fine to not care what people think of you. How likely is it that you will run into those people who witnessed you going off on the cashier in Marshalls ever again? Highly unlikely but it could happen. Imagine walking into your dream job interview and your potential manager remembers you as the crazy lady in Marshalls. Their first impression of you was made in Marshalls when you were acting a plum fool, not at the interview. What people think matters then, right?

First impressions matter. Look presentable. Be pleasant. You never know who is watching you.

Until next time, keep your first impressions Fancy.

The Fancy Lane

A wise man, my daddy, once told me, "The more education you get, the more you know about less and less." When he first said that to me, I was scratching my head like "Whaaaa???" Then one day it hit me.
I am a certified specialist in my field. I know a whole lot about one subject, but I don't know everything about everything. What I do know is how to use my resources to find the information I need. People come to me with questions because I'm the "expert". There are plenty of times when I have to say "Let me look in the reference manual." It's called being resourceful. Being resourceful can be as simple as going to Google when you aren't sure how to spell a word, knowing which textbook to refer to before making major decision for your office, or having a relationship with your neighbor who can get you discounted parts for your car. All viable resources. The key is, knowing when to tap into them.

It is very important to recognize your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, things we aren't so good at. People have way more respect for you when you can say "I do not know" and get back to them after consulting your resources than when you "fake the funk". No one wants to be around a know it all. What's worse than a know it all? A know it all who doesn't know what they're talking about.

The most effective leaders and successful business owners are great delegators. They know that people are resources and utilize them to accomplish a goal. People are one of the most valuable resources you can utilize. In work environments, you establish respect with your "team", so that you know things will get done with integrity when you delegate. Does the president lead a military attack? No. That task is delegated to the military experts. He simply gives the instruction. In business, you establish relationships with people by offering support for others so they will be willing to work with you if that option ever comes around. I mean, why do you think Beyoncé has a glam squad? She stays in her lane, focusing on making music and performing because she hired people to handle hair, make up, and wardrobe. She gives them her vision, they make it happen. Everyone in their lane, working together to make up the perfect team. My father does great with sheet rock and painting but when it comes to electricity and plumbing, he calls in an electrician and a plumber. He knows his limits and when to call for help. Better to do that than to electrocute himself.

I'm not suggesting that you never try to do anything new. If you are pursuing new interests, I recommend seeking guidance from someone who knows what they're doing. A mentor of sorts. Then LISTEN to what they say. DO what they tell you to do. Do NOT do what they tell you to avoid. When I planned my first big event, I asked my expert event planning friend for advice. When she told me what to do, I did exactly what she said to do. I asked questions when I needed clarification. I knew I didn't know what I was doing the first time around. Event planning wasn't my lane. And you know what? I had an epic event because of it.

The point is, when you have a craft, perfect it. Become an expert who is resourceful but not a "know it all". Stay in your lane. Do not try to do everything when you are leading a team. Delegate tasks to people who can do that job better than you can. When starting new ventures, ask an expert and stick to their instructions until you feel comfortable doing it on your own.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life....in your lane.

Drake says "Bahsace", We say "Coachella"

My soulmate is turning 30 this year. I'm talking about my kindred, urban hippie, science geek girlfriend soulmate. I am a firm believer that you can have soulmates that are the same sex without being homosexual. We all have those people we meet and instantly click. It's about the connection and relating with someone. She came into my life in a time of transition and turmoil. It was a relief to have someone you can talk science geek shop with candidly in a no judgement zone.

Anyway, over the years, I have become my soulmate's default date when the boys in her life aren't acting right. Extra ticket to the Raphael Sadiiq show, default soulmate date. Want to see an Indie film that no one else is interested in, default soulmate date. Need a chauffeur to the club for your birthday so you can get wasted responsibly, default soulmate date. So of course, when she said Coachella would be the first stop of her "Year of The 30" music festivals, I was praying she needed her dependable default date. ESPECIALLY since all my fav urban hippie, free spirit, artsy fartsy were gonna be there. Mainly Jhene Aiko and Solange but MOSTLY Andre 3000. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I said "I'm going."

Coachella Set Up: There were six stages, all of this spread over about 5 acres of land at the Empire Polo Club. Two of the six were outdoor stages for the headliners to perform and four tents for independent artists and DJs. Vendors were everywhere for games, souvenirs, music, and food. There were multiple water refill stations, so people could stay hydrated in the desert heat without spending a fortune.

Day 1:
We arrived at the Polo Club around 4pm PST. The sun was beating down at about 100 degrees. I decided to wear gladiator sandals for the first day. Obviously, I did not read the website on what not to wear because gladiator sandals and desert sand/dirt was ALL wrong. Especially considering we were walking at least 3 miles per day and standing for about 8 hours. We rush over to the stage A$AP Ferg. That performance was cut short though. Something about him arriving late and being intoxicated. Typical. We go over to a tent and watch Bastille. My first taste of mosh pit. Wasn't feeling it. Around 6pm, we shoot over to the main stage in preparation for Outkast's 11:05pm performance. Ellie Golden was performing as we "excuse me'd" our way to thee VERY front. Then Chromeo came out and rocked it.

After Chromeo,
the party started. I had no idea who Girl Talk was, but now I do. He's like the most bomb dj I've EVER partied with in life. He was mixing all this old hip hop with cool rock and pop beats. But when we started bringing the rap artist out to actually perform the lyrics.....listen, Linda. You ain't lived unless your heard E40 grunt or Too Short say "BEYOTCH!!!". And then, of course, OUTKAST!!! I missed them together so much. Well, I missed Andre. I just like to look at Big Boi. Day 1 was bomb dot com. I'm not gonna discuss the shuttle disaster and the adventure we had trying to get home. Let's just say, we were refunded some coins at the end of our trip.

Day 2:
We woke up sore. Like our entire bodies sore. Arms. Back. Abs. Butt. Calves. Ankles. Ball of feet. Heels. EVERYTHING. Mosh pit life ain't for the faint of heart. We are not quitters though. So, we limped down to the hotel lobby to partake in the breakfast buffet, took our ibuprofen and hit the shuttle to do it one more day. We were not fully prepared for the sandstorm we'd have to endure. Our Coachella apps sent a "High Winds Warning" notification, however, what we experienced was, clearly, a sand storm. The dirt, dust, and sand was so thick in the air because of the wind that the sky looked like dense fog in the distance.
We made it in time to see Banks. Then set up shop in the grass for Kid Cudi. After eating, we went to see a few songs by Lorde but decided we needed to get in the mosh pit for Solange's performance. We were praising Jehovah for a reprieve from the outdoor stages and wind. We made our way to a good spot. I was able to get some great shots of her. But when Beyoncè came out to dance with her. We! Lost! It! They are so cute. I love sisterly love. Still on our Beyoncè high, we brave the wind again for Queen of the Stone Age. My soulmate was wearing shorts, poor thing. She couldn't take the sand hitting her legs and finding its way into her contacts. We punked out and left at 10:30pm. We missed Pharrell and Nas. We were alright with that though, because we got to see Beyoncè. You win some. You lose some.

Day 3: 

Security was thick. Of course, it was the day I was trying to smuggle our unfinished hotel liquor cuz Fancy don't pay no retail liquor prices. Got to the front of the "pat down" line and the male security told me he couldn't search me and was trying to direct me to the militant, drug sniffing, doing the most female security officer's line. No way, Jose. I looked at him and said "No. You can search me." He laughed and asked me to take my stuff out of my book bag but whispered "If you have liquor, don't take it out." Hahahahahahahaha!! 

We made it just in time to experience Chance the Rapper's fancy feet. We set up shop in the grass, under a tent for the Frank Turner performance. Frank Turner had us mellowed out and we were able to cool off for a little bit before we went into negotiation mode. We needed souvenir shirts but we were not about to pay $30 for a tank top. We ended up getting 4 for $75. Hmph! Feeling good about our purchase, we checked AlunaGeorge for a little bit but had our eyes on the Sephora tent. We were baffled by the line for Sephora entry because there wasn't much going on in there so we decided to make a bee line to the Samsung Galaxy tent but not before rocking out a little to DJ Flosstradamus. The party in that tent was EPIC!

When we finally danced our way into the Samsung tent. There we played with tablets, made videos, took pics, AND, most importantly, won $5 food vouchers. Woop Woop! After eating we stopped by the Jhene Aiko tent, ya know, just to stake it out early but there was some English bar music band playing in it. Never heard of The Toy Dolls before but the crowd was going crazy. And by crazy, I mean, just running in circles and stomping their feet. So, we didn't stick around long for that. On our way out, my soulmate decided to try our luck with security. We needed seating for this last show. We were worn out. We had to see Beck at 8:55pm before Jhene Aiko performed at 10pm. Negotiations seemed to go well but we wouldn't know the true results until we came back from the Beck performance on the main stage. When we came back at around 9:45pm, what do you know? They kept their word, VIP seating for the last show of the weekend, Jhene Aiko. She was awesome in all her urban hippie glory. Even brought out Childish Gambino and Drake.



Overall, we survived our first Coachella and we had a friggin ball! We saw 16 artists/bands perform. We learned about some music and DJs that we hadn't heard of before. There were multiple celebrity sightings. We ate good. We exercised. We booked an extra 2 days to actually see a little Palm Springs and relax after all of the Coachella riff raff.

Soulmates know how to live that Fancy Life!!! We will do it again....in two years. That was a lot. LOL!

Fun Loving Fancy

Fun at a foam party

So you wanna roll with me, do you? There are rules to this Fancy Life. Levels to this, if you will.
I'm just kidding. There is only one stipulation for hanging with me. You must love fun. Why? Well, because I love fun. Seems like a simple concept but some can make it way more complicated than it has to be. I'm all about good, wholesome, clean activities. I will try almost anything once, as long as it is within my moral code.

Last summer, my college friends and I were planning a surprise bachelorette getaway for my college roommate, who loves fun. There were seven of us emailing back and forth about the plans for the weekend. The maid of honor, who also loves fun, mentioned that going to the strip club would be one of the activities for the weekend. The bride had requested witnessing a Magic Mike type of male exotic dancer experience. Now, I am not into exotic dancers ESPECIALLY not male exotic dancers but it was at the bride's request, so I'm just like "Alright. Cool." I love fun. I can make the best of it or just meet them at the next spot after the strip club. However, there was one in the group that went off about this particular activity. She went on and on about how exotic dancers are disgusting and how she would not participate in the ENTIRE trip if it meant being at the strip club for 2 hours was on the agenda. Mind you, there was no touching allowed in this particular establishment. We were all taken aback by how harsh and negative she was. You could hear the crickets chirping through the email. A few minutes later, the maid of honor responded to the rest of us saying a simple phrase that resonates with us to this day. The maid of honor said, "Sooooo guys....she hates fun." We still laugh about "She hates fun." Needless to say, that young lady did not attend the trip. While she was invited to the wedding, we didn't invite her to the pre-wedding pajama party in the bridal suite either. Tee hee.
Moral of the story: If you want to be invited, don't hate fun.

I can have fun anywhere, in any situation. Which is probably why we never have any problems getting people to our house parties. Honestly, anyone can get people to come to their house to eat and drink for free. When you are a true "Fancy Fun Lover", you also get invited to cool events that fun haters don't even know about. You become all of your friends' default date because they know that you are one person they can have fun with if their "boo" can't make it. I'm not just talking dates to happy hour. I'm talking movies, dinners, weddings, black tie events, sold out concerts, exclusive fundraisers.....the list goes on and on. Most recently, I was a default date to Coachella. How's that for awesome?

Be Fancy. Be someone that person you would want to spend time with. No one wants to party with a Party Pooper or have dinner with a Debbie Downer. You'll be surprised the doors that open for you by just being an enjoyable person. Opportunity awaits the optimistic.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life.