Wearing the Crown

Do you wear the crown? You know. "The Crown". What is the "crown" anyway? Let's take a "crown" wearing quiz? Do people always come to you with their problems? Not just your close friends and family looking for a listening ear or a problem solving session. I'm talking about random people in the grocery store or doctor's office. How about at work? Does everyone in your office look to you for the solutions? Are you the one always caught in the middle of family feuds and everyone expects you to resolve it? Do you have an issue with mediocrity? Like, when you are put on task, you can only crank out stellar results? Do you go to great lengths trying to help someone we great? So much so that it seems that you want greater for them than they want for themselves? Are you constantly looking for ways to improve.......everything? Have you been challenged with doing a job better than someone else and you actually did it better?

If you answered yes to 90% of those questions, then you wear "The Crown". Don't cry. I know, it's a hard life. But, because you are awesome, you wouldn't have it any other way. You are the person that gets rewarded with more responsibility at work because you're so good at what you do. They know you will be top notch with more. You proof read your friends' and family's resumes. You get put on planning committees for family reunions and baby showers even when you insist on not being involved. You will eventually be the glue that keeps your family together when your parents pass and your parents know this. Your significant other looks to you when there is a disaster because history has shown that you can fix anything.

You may not have ever thought of it this way, but it is all your fault. If you weren't so good at everything, no one would look to you for help, input or guidance. It's a simple theory. No one begs Aunt Carolyn to bring those nasty biscuits to holiday dinner every year if they're nasty the first year. They ask Aunt Helen to make them because Aunt Helen's biscuits are delicious. She does a great job with each and every batch.

How do you cope with wearing the crown? You must have outlets. These can be regular outings with other crown wearers. You can bounce other Crown-like ideas off of each other. Maybe have a rant session about how draining it is to be so awesome everyday. LOL! This is the only place ranting is allowed.  Therapy is a good one. Therapist are trained professionals who can suggest clinically proven methods to fit your personality and lifestyle. Don't sleep on therapy. A few good therapy sessions can keep your anxiety levels low for years to come. Reading, shopping, traveling, cuddling, laying on the couch......pretty much anything that you do strictly for your own enjoyment can be used as an outlet.

Here are 5Linx to maintaining your sanity while you sport your precious crown:

1. Never reduce your standards. You wear the crown because you are great and no one can take that away from you.
2. Be kind but firm. We have to maintain our high level of expectations. However, we can communicate in warm tones. Season your words with salt. They will be received better.
3. The word "no" should be an integral part of your vocabulary. Your peace of mind is your most valuable asset. Some times you have to say "no" in order to maintain that.
4. Help out where your help is deserved. Sometimes we want to lend a helping hand where we see a need but we know our efforts will not be appreciated. Never allow people to take your efforts to be wasted.
5. Always look for the silver lining. Perspective is EVERYTHING. Having a positive outlook can completely change the outcome of a situation for the better.

When you accept your "Fancy" crown, it comes with benefits as well as challenges. Wear your crown with pride but remember to utilize your outlets to maintain your own happiness. If you wear a crown and feel the need to collaborate with others who wear the same crown, text WOODS to 55469. 

Until next time, wear your "Fancy" crown with pride....

Shopping With Fancy

When living a Fancy Life, you have to keep your money where you can see it, IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT! I bet you thought I was going to say "in your closet" like our favorite Sex In The City character. Nope. Not me. In my household, we pride ourselves on a bargain. If I can score a $1600 handbag for $400, my husband is all for it. Everything has to be a deal or at least reasonably priced. The first rule of thumb is to never pay retail. Everything is negotiable. Somewhere, someone is trying to get rid of the very thing you're looking for at a price of little to nothing.

Budget:
You should ALWAYS have a budget when you are shopping. We like nice things and we work hard, so we deserve to treat ourselves every now and then. But being fancy doesn't require you breaking the bank to buy "things". There will always be some new handbag, dress, boot, sandal, etc. that you just HAVE to have. Avoid blowing your budget at all costs. There are a few exceptions to this rule but we typically stick with our budget.

Shopping in the Mall:

I try to avoid the mall at all costs. If I am in the mall, it's because I'm shopping for a special occasion at the last minute or I wanted a single cupcake. LOL! I generally go straight to the clearance section to peruse the sale. If I'm looking at regular priced merchandise, it's because I have a coupon or I know someone who is going to give me their employee discount. Although I try to avoid it, I sometimes have to pay full price for my husband's shoes. Men's shoes are so expensive and the styles never really change so they're hardly ever on sale. Womp! In any store, I grab everything I like until I can't find anything else. This can eliminate any "run backs". A "run back" is when you can't stop thinking about that thing you put back and decided you wanted it again. We try to avoid these because, usually, if you want it, some one else will too. I've had a few traumatizing experiences when I changed  my mind and tried to "run back", only to find my coveted item in
someone else's hands. *sigh* Once I have everything I like, I can begin the process of elimination.

Shopping Online:
I LOVE shopping online. You can find pretty much anything your little heart desires from the convenience of your couch and they bring it right to your doorstep within a day or two. I put everything I want in my cart, just like at the mall. Then I search the specific item to make sure I'm getting the best price. The cost of shipping can be a killer with online shopping. If I'm purchasing your item, I want it shipped for free. So, I think long and hard about if I'm going to purchase something if shipping is not free. There are very few instances when I will pay for shipping. The reason being is that someone, some where is willing to ship it for free. A lot of sites try to sucker you in by offering free shipping if you spend a certain amount. It's a trap!!! don't let them get you! You will end up spending $100 to get free shipping all you really wanted was a $20 necklace. Then I do the process of elimination in my cart.

Process of Elimination:
At the mall or in store, this process begins in the fitting room. I dread the fitting room, but if I only budgeted for 2 dresses and I've picked up 8, something has got to give. Sometimes, what I thought was my size is not. Other times, what looks great on the hanger, doesn't look so hot on me. The fitting room usually eliminates at LEAST 1 item, if not more. Online, I look at shipping and the budget as well. Then I ask myself the following questions:

• Do I really NEED it?
• Is it in the budget?
• Is shipping free?
• Is this item worth paying for shipping?
• If it's not in the budget, will I be thinking about it next week if I don't get it?
• If it's not in the budget, is the deal of a lifetime that I will never see again?

The rule about breaking the budget is, if you're still going to be thinking about it next week, get it. If you will never see a price this low again, get it even if it's over budget. Other than that, put it back. You don't need it. Next week, you may see something you like even better and will be glad you held off the first go around.

You have to have money in the bank to live a Fancy Life, so keep it there. Always look for a bargain. When you go shopping, grab everything you like because it may not be available if you change your mind. Stay within your budget, unless you think that item will be haunting you forever if you don't get it. Things come and go. Don't break the bank acquiring them.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life...within your budget!

Click here to find out how to increase your bank account.

Drake says "Bahsace", We say "Coachella"

My soulmate is turning 30 this year. I'm talking about my kindred, urban hippie, science geek girlfriend soulmate. I am a firm believer that you can have soulmates that are the same sex without being homosexual. We all have those people we meet and instantly click. It's about the connection and relating with someone. She came into my life in a time of transition and turmoil. It was a relief to have someone you can talk science geek shop with candidly in a no judgement zone.

Anyway, over the years, I have become my soulmate's default date when the boys in her life aren't acting right. Extra ticket to the Raphael Sadiiq show, default soulmate date. Want to see an Indie film that no one else is interested in, default soulmate date. Need a chauffeur to the club for your birthday so you can get wasted responsibly, default soulmate date. So of course, when she said Coachella would be the first stop of her "Year of The 30" music festivals, I was praying she needed her dependable default date. ESPECIALLY since all my fav urban hippie, free spirit, artsy fartsy were gonna be there. Mainly Jhene Aiko and Solange but MOSTLY Andre 3000. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I said "I'm going."

Coachella Set Up: There were six stages, all of this spread over about 5 acres of land at the Empire Polo Club. Two of the six were outdoor stages for the headliners to perform and four tents for independent artists and DJs. Vendors were everywhere for games, souvenirs, music, and food. There were multiple water refill stations, so people could stay hydrated in the desert heat without spending a fortune.

Day 1:
We arrived at the Polo Club around 4pm PST. The sun was beating down at about 100 degrees. I decided to wear gladiator sandals for the first day. Obviously, I did not read the website on what not to wear because gladiator sandals and desert sand/dirt was ALL wrong. Especially considering we were walking at least 3 miles per day and standing for about 8 hours. We rush over to the stage A$AP Ferg. That performance was cut short though. Something about him arriving late and being intoxicated. Typical. We go over to a tent and watch Bastille. My first taste of mosh pit. Wasn't feeling it. Around 6pm, we shoot over to the main stage in preparation for Outkast's 11:05pm performance. Ellie Golden was performing as we "excuse me'd" our way to thee VERY front. Then Chromeo came out and rocked it.

After Chromeo,
the party started. I had no idea who Girl Talk was, but now I do. He's like the most bomb dj I've EVER partied with in life. He was mixing all this old hip hop with cool rock and pop beats. But when we started bringing the rap artist out to actually perform the lyrics.....listen, Linda. You ain't lived unless your heard E40 grunt or Too Short say "BEYOTCH!!!". And then, of course, OUTKAST!!! I missed them together so much. Well, I missed Andre. I just like to look at Big Boi. Day 1 was bomb dot com. I'm not gonna discuss the shuttle disaster and the adventure we had trying to get home. Let's just say, we were refunded some coins at the end of our trip.

Day 2:
We woke up sore. Like our entire bodies sore. Arms. Back. Abs. Butt. Calves. Ankles. Ball of feet. Heels. EVERYTHING. Mosh pit life ain't for the faint of heart. We are not quitters though. So, we limped down to the hotel lobby to partake in the breakfast buffet, took our ibuprofen and hit the shuttle to do it one more day. We were not fully prepared for the sandstorm we'd have to endure. Our Coachella apps sent a "High Winds Warning" notification, however, what we experienced was, clearly, a sand storm. The dirt, dust, and sand was so thick in the air because of the wind that the sky looked like dense fog in the distance.
We made it in time to see Banks. Then set up shop in the grass for Kid Cudi. After eating, we went to see a few songs by Lorde but decided we needed to get in the mosh pit for Solange's performance. We were praising Jehovah for a reprieve from the outdoor stages and wind. We made our way to a good spot. I was able to get some great shots of her. But when Beyoncè came out to dance with her. We! Lost! It! They are so cute. I love sisterly love. Still on our Beyoncè high, we brave the wind again for Queen of the Stone Age. My soulmate was wearing shorts, poor thing. She couldn't take the sand hitting her legs and finding its way into her contacts. We punked out and left at 10:30pm. We missed Pharrell and Nas. We were alright with that though, because we got to see Beyoncè. You win some. You lose some.

Day 3: 

Security was thick. Of course, it was the day I was trying to smuggle our unfinished hotel liquor cuz Fancy don't pay no retail liquor prices. Got to the front of the "pat down" line and the male security told me he couldn't search me and was trying to direct me to the militant, drug sniffing, doing the most female security officer's line. No way, Jose. I looked at him and said "No. You can search me." He laughed and asked me to take my stuff out of my book bag but whispered "If you have liquor, don't take it out." Hahahahahahahaha!! 

We made it just in time to experience Chance the Rapper's fancy feet. We set up shop in the grass, under a tent for the Frank Turner performance. Frank Turner had us mellowed out and we were able to cool off for a little bit before we went into negotiation mode. We needed souvenir shirts but we were not about to pay $30 for a tank top. We ended up getting 4 for $75. Hmph! Feeling good about our purchase, we checked AlunaGeorge for a little bit but had our eyes on the Sephora tent. We were baffled by the line for Sephora entry because there wasn't much going on in there so we decided to make a bee line to the Samsung Galaxy tent but not before rocking out a little to DJ Flosstradamus. The party in that tent was EPIC!

When we finally danced our way into the Samsung tent. There we played with tablets, made videos, took pics, AND, most importantly, won $5 food vouchers. Woop Woop! After eating we stopped by the Jhene Aiko tent, ya know, just to stake it out early but there was some English bar music band playing in it. Never heard of The Toy Dolls before but the crowd was going crazy. And by crazy, I mean, just running in circles and stomping their feet. So, we didn't stick around long for that. On our way out, my soulmate decided to try our luck with security. We needed seating for this last show. We were worn out. We had to see Beck at 8:55pm before Jhene Aiko performed at 10pm. Negotiations seemed to go well but we wouldn't know the true results until we came back from the Beck performance on the main stage. When we came back at around 9:45pm, what do you know? They kept their word, VIP seating for the last show of the weekend, Jhene Aiko. She was awesome in all her urban hippie glory. Even brought out Childish Gambino and Drake.



Overall, we survived our first Coachella and we had a friggin ball! We saw 16 artists/bands perform. We learned about some music and DJs that we hadn't heard of before. There were multiple celebrity sightings. We ate good. We exercised. We booked an extra 2 days to actually see a little Palm Springs and relax after all of the Coachella riff raff.

Soulmates know how to live that Fancy Life!!! We will do it again....in two years. That was a lot. LOL!

Fun Loving Fancy

Fun at a foam party

So you wanna roll with me, do you? There are rules to this Fancy Life. Levels to this, if you will.
I'm just kidding. There is only one stipulation for hanging with me. You must love fun. Why? Well, because I love fun. Seems like a simple concept but some can make it way more complicated than it has to be. I'm all about good, wholesome, clean activities. I will try almost anything once, as long as it is within my moral code.

Last summer, my college friends and I were planning a surprise bachelorette getaway for my college roommate, who loves fun. There were seven of us emailing back and forth about the plans for the weekend. The maid of honor, who also loves fun, mentioned that going to the strip club would be one of the activities for the weekend. The bride had requested witnessing a Magic Mike type of male exotic dancer experience. Now, I am not into exotic dancers ESPECIALLY not male exotic dancers but it was at the bride's request, so I'm just like "Alright. Cool." I love fun. I can make the best of it or just meet them at the next spot after the strip club. However, there was one in the group that went off about this particular activity. She went on and on about how exotic dancers are disgusting and how she would not participate in the ENTIRE trip if it meant being at the strip club for 2 hours was on the agenda. Mind you, there was no touching allowed in this particular establishment. We were all taken aback by how harsh and negative she was. You could hear the crickets chirping through the email. A few minutes later, the maid of honor responded to the rest of us saying a simple phrase that resonates with us to this day. The maid of honor said, "Sooooo guys....she hates fun." We still laugh about "She hates fun." Needless to say, that young lady did not attend the trip. While she was invited to the wedding, we didn't invite her to the pre-wedding pajama party in the bridal suite either. Tee hee.
Moral of the story: If you want to be invited, don't hate fun.

I can have fun anywhere, in any situation. Which is probably why we never have any problems getting people to our house parties. Honestly, anyone can get people to come to their house to eat and drink for free. When you are a true "Fancy Fun Lover", you also get invited to cool events that fun haters don't even know about. You become all of your friends' default date because they know that you are one person they can have fun with if their "boo" can't make it. I'm not just talking dates to happy hour. I'm talking movies, dinners, weddings, black tie events, sold out concerts, exclusive fundraisers.....the list goes on and on. Most recently, I was a default date to Coachella. How's that for awesome?

Be Fancy. Be someone that person you would want to spend time with. No one wants to party with a Party Pooper or have dinner with a Debbie Downer. You'll be surprised the doors that open for you by just being an enjoyable person. Opportunity awaits the optimistic.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life.

How to be "Fancy"

As some hip-hop/R&B songs indicate that in order to be "Fancy" you have to rock designer duds, drive expensive cars, and spend all of your time in the spa and salon getting your hair and nails did.

That is definitely NOT my life. I don't have many designer clothes. Just a few pieces, but you better believe I found them on somebody's clearance rack or on some of my favorite discount websites. Hmph! I do drive a luxury car but I bought it used and haggled the salesman down to the ground just cuz I gotta have the deal. I try to avoid the salons at all costs and I typically only comb my hair once every 2-3 weeks. Don't judge me? It looks super cute when I don't comb it. LOL!
Now, I do make regular visits to the spa. I consider bi-weekly manicures and pedicures to be maintenance. Chippy polish is not Fancy approved and my husband insists that my toes are polished as well. I am very particular about my nails, so I only go to one person but, in all honesty, a mani/pedi in a nail shop might set you back about $35. Moral of the story: Being Fancy doesn't necessarily mean spending a lot of money.

Living this Fancy life requires that I get as much bang for my buck as possible. I'm always going for the deal, the sale, the discount, the trade and the hook up. I look for the highest quality at the lowest possible cost. The motto for my household is: "Quote me the lowest possible price you will accept, then go lower." I rely on discount membership only stores, Groupon, Craigslist, eBay, "Google", the list is pretty extensive. However, I find that people are my biggest resource.
I make nice with EVERYONE. I don't discount anyone because of their "status" or income or education. You never know when you will need someone. I try to bring value to all of my relationships because, quite frankly, being known as "the friend who always needs something" is NOT Fancy. We are all blessed in some way. I strongly believe that a blessing isn't a blessing until you can use it to bless someone else. I help where I can without expecting anything in return. I give freely. Not because I want something in return, but because I am giver. As a result, I have a long list of resources at my disposal that can be considered "Fancy hook up" contacts.

Be Fancy. We all have one guilty pleasure. It's totally fine to treat yourself.
That item you thought you couldn't afford is out there somewhere, right within your budget. You just have to find it.
Establish relationships with people. Be an asset in that relationship. Enjoy being a blessing to people when they need you. You never now when they will return the favor.

Until next time, enjoy your Fancy life.

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Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself

My name is Iyonna. My mama picked this name. She thought she was giving me an African name but she changed the spelling in an attempt to be "different", bless her heart, which changed the origin and entire meaning of my name. You see, Ayana, which is what she was naming me, is Kiswahili for "beautiful flower". I know a number of Ayana's and they are all beautiful people. But when she changed the spelling to Iyonna, I became "gracious". Iyonna is a greek variation of "Hannah", which means "favored, gracious one". There is so much meaning in a name. Which brings me to how I came to be called "Fancy".
Like to hear it, here it go.....

In 2006, one of my bestest friends from high school and college was getting married. Of course I was in the wedding. The venue was perfect. Gorgeous. Regal. Palatial. Just perfect. When I walked in, I knew that the long, flowy dresses she had picked for us would be a perfect fit for the decor of the venue. However, with all gorgeous venues and historical architecture comes marble stairs. This would not have been a problem for me if I did not have to walk up marble stairs, in my long, flowy dress, in front of 125 people. You see, my name means "gracious" BUT I inherited the clumsy gene from my favorite guy in the world, my dad. My dad, who I've seen fall off of the roof, trip over absolutely nothing, come home from EVERY ski trip with some sort of injury. Yeah, I inherited "grace" from that guy. I digress, when the planner was instructing us to walk up the stairs in our long, flowy gowns so that I could stand by my friend while she proclaimed her love to her long time bew, I knew it was a recipe for disaster. So, at the rehearsal, I made the suggestions that our escorts help us up the stairs. I mean, that's the gentlemanly thing to do, right? Only thing is, this small adjustment wasn't what the wedding planner had in mind for our processional, so that meant the entire thing had to be revamped to accommodate Ms. Clumsily Gracious' suggestion. Listen, I know it may sound selfish but I was NOT about to be the one to upstage the entire ceremony by tripping up the stairs. Nope. I ain't gonna do it. My escort thought that my suggestion, while a good one, was very "Fancy" and proceeded to call me Fancy for the duration of the pre-wedding activities.

At first, I was kind of annoyed with him for calling me Fancy but then I started to take to it. I had never had a nickname as a child, as I had always demanded that family called me by my name, so I began to think that "Fancy" was a pretty cool nickname to have. I started incorporating Fancy in my "social media" name. People who knew me agreed with my new alias and people who were just meeting me thought it was my real name. I mean, that word described me perfectly. So, there it is, now I'm Fancy.

Now it's 2014 and I'm living "The Fancy Life". Let me be very clear, my "Fancy Life" ain't no crystal stair. I don't fake or front. I work hard. I have success. I have had failures. I find myself in stressful situations. I get hurt. I get sad. I feel pretty some days and not so pretty on other days. I have perfect hair sometimes but then I go weeks without combing it, so it's not so perfect at other times. I embrace life and all the challenges it has to offer and I am honest about my life, I am Fancy.

In my Fancy journey, I have interacted with all types of people and I develop relationships in some of the most unlikely places. I am a giver. I am a helper. I am a solution finder. I am a resource. I don't claim to know everything, even though my husband will disagree. I live in my truth. I know when to ask questions. The result: People come to me asking for help and I help when I can. If I don't have the answer, there is a 95% chance that I know someone who can help you out or I know someone who knows someone that can help.

Friends and family have been telling me that I have all the answers for a while. They say things like "Fancy be knowing" or "Fancy knows best." I usually laugh it off but yesterday, a friend suggested that I start a Fancy Life secrets blog after I inadvertently provided her with a contact she needed without even knowing she had been looking for it. Thus...."Fancyville" has been revamped and "Secrets to Living the Fancy Life" is born. Let everyone benefit from me and my resources. Even though there are no real secrets about my lifestyle. I want everyone to feel like they can enjoy the Fancy Life right along with me.
Stay tuned!

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