Husbands Need Wives

How does the saying go? "Behind every good man is an even greater woman." Some feminists may say it should read "beside" instead of "behind". To me, it doesn't matter because marriage is a partnership, the "Ultimate Merger". A woman can be beside, behind, in front of....where ever she is, please believe she is "ghost bossing" her husband's life. Whether it is picking out his clothes, managing his money, nudging him in the direction of better opportunity, or even running his household, she is there. Women are natural nurturers and can nurture the most successful man to even greater heights.

5Linx Explaining Why Men Thrive in Marriage

1. Keeping house.
Yes. There are plenty of men who cook and clean but, let's face it, there aren't many. I'm not saying husbands shouldn't share in household duties or chores. I'm saying that it takes a woman to point out where he could use improvement in these areas. i.e. Cleaning the kitchen versus washing dishes. I have had to explain the difference to my own husband. LOL!

2. Caring for children.

Not to discredit fathers but there is nothing like a mother's love. Mothers literally risk their lives giving birth. No one, besides Jehovah, can say they've done more for you than that. Men need wives to bare the children and help nurture them. Even if it were biologically possible, I don't think men could deal with the discomfort and pain of giving birth. I'm just saying....

3. Replacement mama.
The male ego is fragile. Mothers play an important role in molding their sons, building confidence by accolades and applause. Fathers usually help mold their sons with discipline. When a man leaves his mother and cleaves to his wife, he will be looking to his wife for those same accolades. Whether it's for his lackluster attempt at doing laundry or pulling off the deal of the century with his company, men need their wives to cheer them on just as their mothers did.

4. Organization.
Men typically are not organized, at all. Unless it is related to sports or some hobby they have, they usually do not prepare in advance for anything. Be it a party, food for the week, how to stack the tupperware or a vacation. Men have a tendency to not think about upcoming activities until stuff hits the fan. Then they scramble. Wives are there to put events on their husband's calendar, so they know where they have to be and what time they have to be there. Wives know how much money they will have to put aside for the vacation the husband wanted to take. Wives make sure to purchase extra drinks and hors d'oeuvres and rent extra chairs when they see that the husband has invited an extra 50 people to the party they're having.

5. Reality check.
Just like mothers tell their sons that they are doing a great job, they also tell their sons when they need to do
better. Wives do the same thing. We all have tendencies to get comfortable, it is up to wives to give husbands a quick reality check when they're slacking. Be it in the bedroom, with chores or the boardroom. Jay-Z said it best, "Blue told me to remind you..." along with Bey. We gotta remind deez husbands that we ain't marry no slacker. Get out here in deez streets and make moves. LOL!

Whatever you give a woman, she will multiply and make it better. I am so thankful that I have a loving relationship with my mother-in-law. Her son, my husband, is a great catch but she gladly tells people that I got her son together. A special thank you to all the parents for raising great men who turn into husbands. Another thank you to all the mothers who know when it's time to turn their son over to a wife so that she can help him grow into an even greater man.

We are in the business of helping man and woman alike to become great. Contact us at www.fancyfreellc.com 

The Allure of "Boss"

Nowadays errybody is claiming they're a "boss chick". No. Seriously. Every. Body. But if everyone is a boss, who is getting bossed and doing the work? Something doesn't add up. LOL! Let's be clear actually being a boss can look glamorous. Who wouldn't want to be the woman in charge who strolls in the office at any time of day then leaves early for a lunch date, mani/pedi, or salon appointment, while wearing tailored suits and designer pumps? Of course that life can be alluring. What most don't see is the dues that were paid to get to the point where these conveniences possible. You have got to pay your dues first. Then you get the boss privileges and can call yourself a "BOSS". 

What does paying your dues mean? When you pay, you get receipts. Receipts can be in the form of a college degree or multiple degrees, certifications, unpaid internships, documentation of past works, etc. These things make for a really impressive resume but are paid for with lots of late nights and plenty of early mornings. In my case, even hair loss and an expensive dental bill because I was so focused on my grind, I neglected my teeth-do not judge me, my smile is perfection now. LOL! You can only accomplish these things with discipline, consistency and accountability. The boss chick can come and go as she pleases because she is the boss and her higher ups or clients know that the job will get done by the agreed upon date whether she is in her office or not. Accountability goes far and she has proven that when it's in her hands that "It's handled." and she is allowed the freedom to come and go as she pleases. She's working even when she's not working. It's not unlikely to see a boss chick responding to emails and taking phone calls even while on vacation or at a get together. A real boss is never complacent. She sets high standards for herself and continuously raises the bar for what her next phase of accomplishments will be. To whom much is given, much is expected. She has worked hard to afford a luxury lifestyle and works harder to maintain it. 

The boss chick has mentors whom she seeks advice from and a mentees whom she is guiding through the "paying dues" stage. Insecure women hate her because they secretly want to be her. Boys know that she is out of their league. Some boys will even try to date her and be that bad boyfriend who ruined her. They only do that because she represents something that they do not deserve. Men want to marry her. A real man is inspired by her work ethic. Men know that anything he brings to her will be multiplied. Their ultimate merger will deem them a "Power Couple". 

No wonder she lives a lifestyle filled with fine dining, tailored fashions, lavish vacations, exclusive outings, and great company. "Opposites attract" is only true for refrigerator magnets. Like attracts like. Iron sharpens iron. True bosses attract boss friends and mates, opportunity, and prosperity. She has her family but a boss chick's close network of boss friends can relate to her struggles. Let's face it, this is a man's world and although a boss chick's significant other understands her grind, only other women can truly relate to what boss chick's have to deal with. They check each other when one is wrong, in career, relationships, and life. They cheer each other on and help maintain focus. They can let their hair down around each other without having to worry about being exposed on the internet.

Yes, studies do show that attractive people have it easier because they're, well, attractive. But a TRUE boss chick has worked hard to get what she has, no matter how attractive she is. She is a goal getter, not a gold digger. Joining forces with a successful mate is just the icing on the cake. She attracted that into her life. She did not chase it down. Please believe the she does NOT have it made. She worked hard for it and works hard to keep it but she makes a point to enjoy the spoils of her labor as often as possible. I mean, why not? She has much to celebrate. Being a boss is no easy feat but the results are worth it. So she enjoys it.

Bosses, continue. Still collecting receipts? Push through. It's worth it in the long run.

If you are a true "boss chick" and are open to joining forces with other positive, successful women to diversify your streams of income, click HERE.

Fearless Fancy

Growing up, I was a busy child. Always taking at least one performing arts lesson and participating in at least one sport through out the year. Never any breaks, that means even through out the summer months I was doing something.
Participating in these kinds of activities as a kid gave me a different kind of mindset when it came to trying new things and stepping out into unknown territory. It helped develop my "thick skin" and self esteem.

I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I played classical music mostly. In those 10 years of lessons, the music became more difficult to master but the steps to mastering it were the same. You learn a new skill that's applied to the art, tackle the new music in digestible parts. When each part is mastered, put them all together. Voila! You are playing your classical piece like Chopin himself. At the time, I didn't realize that these piano lessons were actually teaching me life lessons. As adults, we are confronted with situations we have never dealt with before, it makes us uncomfortable. But this is the natural progression of things. After 10 years of lessons and coaching and scales and arpeggios and hand stretches to reach chords, my parents would be disappointed if I were still playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with my pointer fingers just because it was easy for me to do that. They expected to hear me fumbling through on Chopin's Nocturne Op.9 No.2 until I got it right or they'd think they were wasting their money. LOL! In performing arts, we are always mastering new skills and testing our limits. No fear. We will get it with enough practice. Well, some times. With small hands, there were always some chords I just couldn't reach cuz it wasn't physically possible. Ha!

It's the same with sports. Although I participated in some team sports, I was never really an "athlete". It just wasn't in my blood. LOL! But, athletes have thick skin just like performers. Constantly getting critiqued. Being told how to improve. Getting scored. Getting judged. Winning competitions. Losing competitions. Auditioning for shows. Trying out for teams. Getting the gig. Not getting the gig. Making the team. Getting cut from the team. It's just what comes with the territory.

When I won a competition, there usually wasn't a big celebration cuz I was supposed to win. I mean, I had been practicing for 3 hours everyday. There was no reason I shouldn't have won. When I didn't win. It was not the end of the world. There is always someone out there better than you or with more natural talent. I'd just have to work harder before the next one. There are always more competitions for you to compete in and win. The scoring sheet would reveal what I needed to improve on so that I could work on it and win the next time.

Life is full of victories but you have to go through some losses along the way. The losses teach you character. The wins build your confidence. Losing or messing up or making a mistake never stopped me from practicing that show piece until it was perfected. A situation in life not turning out how I wanted it to never stopped me from living. Things are as they should be and when they aren't how I want them to be, I've realized that I have a lesson to learn and some things in my life that I need to work on.

Perfecting a new craft takes practice. You will fumble but that's just apart of the process. Don't be scared to push yourself beyond what you think you can do. You will surprise yourself. Test your limits. If you never test them, you will never know your full potential. Jump into new opportunities with both feet. No fear. And don't give up until you are a pro.

Live your Fancy life without fear.

If you are interested in doing something different and mastering a new craft that will foster personal development, click HERE.

Fancy Dating

I have been off of the market for a while now. Almost 12 years with the same guy. Seven years married. Prior to dating my husband, I had a steady boyfriend right out of high school and was with him most of my four years of college. I was engaged to him, but I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself and Jesus where He and I decided that there was something way better out there for me. So I broke it off and was single. Needless to say, I didn't get much dating experience during the time in my life when I should have. I was back in school after the break up, so I wasn't really pressed to have another boyfriend just yet but I'm cute so I was "talking" to a couple of guys. When I was telling one of my really good girlfriends about how aggravating boys were, she recommended that I read a book called The Rules. So, I did and it gave me some better dating guidelines and tips to adhere to. I'm going to summarize a few of them for you and add my "Fancy" twist but you should still read the book for yourself.

The 5Linx of Fancy Dating

1. You attract who you are.
If you are wondering why you keep attracting the same kind of guy. Take a look in the mirror, sistah. It's you. Leeches can smell the desperation through your perfume. Jerks can detect your low self esteem a mile a way. While an upwardly mobile man sees that you're a boss or at least a boss in the making by the way you walk in a room. The leech and the jerk may try a boss chick, but they will soon find out that they don't stand a chance. Long story short, work on yourself before you worry about getting a boyfriend. A mate does not complete you, he compliments you. Together you will conquer the world. Get your degree. Start your business. Lose those last 5 pounds. Go on a girl's trip. Just do whatever you have to do to be happy with yourself and you will attract an AWESOME man that is perfect for you and will encourage you to continue on your journey to success and happiness. Keyword is "ATTRACT", not find. The bible says it best, The one who finds a good wife has found something good, And he receives Jehovah’s favor. Proverbs 18:22 Notice that God did not instruct women to go out and search for a husband. Make yourself accessible but let him find you.

2. I don't call boys.
I quickly learned that a man who insists on giving you his number and is not begging for yours is not down for the chase. Don't let them men fool you and tell you that they "don't chase" women. Men are competitive. They LOVE the chase. They chase dreams and aspirations. They chase money. And when they see a woman they want, they chase that woman. Now, I did not say play games with him. Just let him pursue you. Do not call a man who offers you his business card unless it's for business purposes. If you exchange numbers, wait for him to call you. As you develop feelings and agree to a committed relationship, make sure you are calling him and making sure he knows that he got his prize.

3. He must make plans for you.
That means, under no circumstances do you accept last minute date invitations. He must schedule his time with you at LEAST 3 days in advance. Remember, you are busy being great and your calendar books up quickly. You are NOT sitting at home waiting for Prince Charming to ask you on a date. And even if you are sitting at home staring at the walls, he doesn't know that. You had plans. You planned to veg out on the couch that evening. LOL! If he doesn't get it after 3 attempts, he ain't the one. If he does get it and finally schedules time with you. Let him plan the date. Your job is to show up, look pretty and enjoy his company. You should not be worrying your pretty little head about where you all are going and what you will be doing.

4. Do not accept mediocre treatment.
We get treated based on what we accept. Make your standards clear without being a "mean girl". Men do not read between the lines. You must make things very clear to them which can be done without shattering their egos. His efforts must match his promises and words. Slick talk can keep on walking. Trust your instincts. If something seems fishy, it probably is. And most importantly, do not smash on the first date. Keep your legs closed until you are married.....or at least until you're sure about your feelings. Having sex prematurely can cloud your judgement, make him judge you and make you irrational if he puts it down but he ain't the one. On the other end of the spectrum, if you see that a man has gone through great lengths to do something for you, do not knock his efforts. Acknowledge them and offer suggestions in a loving way.

5. You must practice dating.
When I was single, I gave my number to any guy who asked because I know it takes a lot of courage to do that. No one likes rejection. I didn't have to be attracted to him or think he could potentially be my boyfriend. I did that for a few reasons. You never know the gem you'll get when you peel back the layers. But that takes time. You always have to give yourself options. Out of those men I gave my number to, I went on dates with the ones who asked me out properly, even when I wasn't interested. Of course there were a few that I wished had asked me out. But they didn't. So where dey at now? Finally, I needed to practice all the rules I learned so that when I did finally start dating "The One", I would know how to act. You don't get good at anything until you practice. So, I did just that. Went on some decent dates, some horrible dates, and even some good ones. I learned things about myself. I learned what works with men and what doesn't. I was able to be more clear about what I wanted in a relationship all before I started dating the guy that would become my husband.

If you are single and dating. Have fun! Still go out with your girlfriends and family, travel, and become even greater than you already are. Enjoy life. Trust me. Marriage is a beautiful thing but it comes with a whole 'nother set of troubles. Every guy you go out with is not your future husband. Don't get attached too quickly and watch what he does, not what he says. Some of these guys are slicksters and sweet talkers. If those words aren't backed up by actions, keep it moving. Life is too short for boy drama. Especially when you're living the drama free Fancy life!!!

If you are looking for an environment that foster personal growth and development, contact me by texting WOODS to 55469 or click HERE to visit my website.

Let Them Be Great!!!

I am no life coach. Never claimed to be one but I am pretty good at problem solving. Like, problem solving is my profession. My employer pays me to find solutions. My mind automatically starts looking for a solution when I see or hear a problem. I encourage people not to wallow in their situation being all sad and frustrated. Find the answer and apply it. Problem solved. On to the next thing that life throws at you. I don't like to see people that I care about depressed because of something out of their control *ahem* or repetitive poor decision making. I offer solutions or try to direct them to someone who may have the answers. When I don't have the answers, trust me, I have no problem sitting with Sway. However, as I have matured, I have learned when to keep my insight to myself. I have learned that unsolicited input is not well received in some situations. Even when I am called on, I say what I have to say and leave it alone.

Different strokes for different folks. I have my own life to worry about. Taking on other people's issues is not apart of that. You came, you asked, I gave you some knowledge, now it's in your hands. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. And I do not try to. Everything we do is in our mindset. Some people are so fixated on the problem and defiantly chose not to see the solution. Like, everything suggestion I make, they counter with a reason it won't work without even trying. Some people relish in a state of chaos. So much so that when they see calm waters ahead they turn back into the storm. These kinds of people tend to always have something to complain about. I am not that person.  I am optimistic. Sometimes the only solution I can offer is to look at the blessings that come from a seemingly bad situation. I know that someone who chooses to focus on the negative cannot be helped by anything I have to offer. I think life should be nice and drama free. I don't give any advice that I wouldn't take myself. I don't give any advice that is out of my scope of knowledge. Having trouble with your step kids? I don't know what to tell you. If you're looking for advice, talk to my auntie, she's great with her step kids.  Sometimes people just need to hear themselves talk through the situation, so they're not really looking for input just a listening ear. I do talk things out with my husband all the time. He's great at fake listening. LOL!

I am in the business of helping people who want to help themselves but I am not trying to control or force anyone's hand. I only want the best for everyone, so I speak honestly which can hurt sometimes. My loves know I am going to give it to them straight, with a chaser, of course. I mean, I'd rather my mother tell me, in a loving way, that my breath stinks and I need to get to the dentist ASAP than have people avoid talking to me. I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. Just open their eyes. If they chose not to take my advice, I am not offended, it's just my perspective on the situation. I will never know all of the aspects if I am not in the situation. Who knows. I COULD be wrong. LOL!

Anyone can live the Fancy life but everyone isn't up for the challenge it takes. Being a problem solver is associated with personal growth and development. We are all different and at different stages in our lives. I am alright with that. I let them be great at whatever phase they are in.

If you are up for the challenge and interested in making life changes. Click HERE for a free report on how to make that happen or visit www.fancyfreellc.com.

Why?

Ask any kid what they want to be when they grow up and they will probably tell you something very prestigious. An actor. An astronaut. A basketball star. The President of the United States. A singer. And then.......life gets in the way and they forget about their big dreams. Some adult tells them why they can't accomplish these things. They are given all the reasons we cannot make these big dreams become a reality. And sometimes life's circumstances just get in the way.

At an early age, music professional recognized the musician in me. My father gave me some good sound advice based on his life experiences. He encouraged me to go to a college preparatory high school and work on my academics, get good grades, go to college, get a good job and THEN you do the things you "like" to do, as in play around with music. My father taught me to be practical. No more dreams of grandeur.

My husband's parents taught him the same things. The first six years of our relationship, we were in training. Graduate school, residency, training programs, etc. We were in our late twenties and still living like college students. I finally made it out of training. I specialized in my field. I became a Medical Laboratory Scientist Specialist in Blood Banking. I got my "dream job" -in quotations because who really WANTS a job- before the age of 30. I was managing a blood bank and making the salary I had aimed to make at that point in life. My husband had just finished residency when I started my dream job and we had negotiated a contract with his current employer. We were almost to exactly where we wanted to be in our professional life. Obstacles came when my husband's start date was not until NINE months after he finished his residency. How did that create an obstacles? Well, it means he was unemployed for nine months before that salary we had negotiated would begin hitting our bank accounts. 

During those nine months, we bought our dream home. We closed on it four months before he actually started making his big time doctor salary. Long short....we were broker than we had ever been for about six months during a time in life when were supposed to be living abundantly. It was really bad. Like, I was calling my father for gas money and we were alternating who's parents house we were going to eat dinner at every night. Broker than we had been in our pseudo-college student budget days. We knew it was a phase. But it was a very humbling time in our lives. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel. We were getting closer to his start date and we finally got a tenant in our old house. 

Jehovah will send you what you need when you need it but we don't always recognize it. I was talking to a college friend about life in this nine month period of broke-ness. I was joking about how broke we were at the time....laughing to keep from crying. My college friend was telling me about this "thing" he was doing and how my husband and I could make a lot of money. He suggested that we take a look at it. I was like "No." A flat "no". I was over  my hustling days of working 4 jobs. I had my one good job and I knew things would get better when my husband started working. And when he started working, things got better. We were taking our parents out for dinner. Going on vacations. Really, living the Fancy life to it's full capacity. 

Then...it happened. We filed income taxes for the first time when both of us had been earning at our full potential. We learned at that time why they say DINK for Dual Income No Kids. They call it that cuz "DINK!!" is what you say when you see how much you will owe the federal government in taxes when you fit in that category. It was really bad. My accountant suggested we buy a bigger house, have a baby, or start a home based business. That night, I called my college friend and got started with his "thing". I didn't even know what it was. I didn't care. I just knew a few things. I knew that he was my friend and wouldn't set me up for failure. I knew that he was making a lot of money with this thing, so I could make a lot of money. But most importantly, we needed a reprieve on taxes because it could only get worse as our salaries increased. So, I got started. 

It's so funny how you can start a project to make a small improvement in your life and the project can completely change your life. I started my home based business just looking for tax benefits that rental properties and donating money couldn't give me and now I am transforming. I am becoming a better person. This venture has taught me a lot about myself and gave me the desire to develop and improve. My "dream job" has become something I do because I like it and I'm really good at it, not because I need the money. This shift in mindset has totally changed how I manage "work stress" and life stress as well. I have never been around a group of more positive and helpful people in my adult life. My husband and I are able to dream again, just like we are kids. I can travel more than I used to, do things for our family, and, most importantly, not owe an arm and a leg to the IRS at the end of the year. It's been great!! 

Are you looking for something different but aren't quite sure what it is? Has adult life gotten in the way of you living the life you dreamed about as a child? Do you just want to finally get a refund when you file taxes? We can help you dream again. All these things are possible and more. Click HERE and we will contact you to share the details and get you on the path to live your dreams.

The Fancy Wife Life

I am a married woman. Why wouldn't I be? I'm awesome, if I do say so myself. It was only a matter of time before some poor, unsuspecting soul would get trapped into my web and feel like he could not live without me. Don't get me wrong, my husband is a catch as well. He has been such a blessing to my family but more so a blessing to me. To a strong, independent woman, marrying a great guy has it's pros and cons. I blame society for the cons and thank him for being "great". I get to take advantage of all the pros.

Prior to being married, I was accustomed to a certain lifestyle, the Fancy life, that I financed on my own. So my husband did not upgrade my life. I been on. LOL! In fact, my Fancy life is one of the things that he was attracted to. There was a time when I worked 4 jobs. Yes, FOUR. Not because I needed to but because I had spare time, was good at somethings and a few people wanted to pay me to do them.
1. My career/what I went to school to do, Medical Laboratory Science aka hospital laboratory.
2. Natural hairstylist in my girlfriend's salon
3. Staff hairstylist for The Wire Season 4
4. Church Musician
I did all of this, while being in graduate school full time.

How can being married to an awesome guy have anything negative associated with it? It's simple, while we have built things together, he gets the credit for the fruits of all of things that I have worked hard for on my own.....just because of what society perceives as prestige with certain professions. That is a major buzz kill. I buy a new car. I pay for the car but people ask him how he likes HIS new car. I'm up at the crack of dawn and till the wee hours of the morning working on our home based business while he sleeps and people refer all inquiries about our team to him. So, I am in a constant battle with my pride and ego when it comes to my role as a wife. I often find myself swallowing my pride in order to be obedient to Jehovah as a submissive wife. I know my husband has our family's best interest in mind, so I have no problems letting him lead me. He is awesome when it comes to giving me credit. I appreciate him for that. We make a great team. Everything I do, I do better with him. However, a small piece of me dies every time some one refers to me as "the doctor's wife", I'm just being honest.

I get it. The portrayal of beautiful women of color in the media is that we are gold diggers or some loud mouthed, attitudinal angry person. It is implied that we are after the successful man so that we can have his babies and spend all of his cash while he is busy building the empire....alone. That is not the case, not if you're living the Fancy life. I was building my own empire prior to him. My parents raised me to be awesome. They did not raise me to chase a man or that my ultimate goal should be to become a wife. My parents taught me that I would attract what I become. My husband and I have been able to multiply what we brought to the table as individuals, but we do that together. He is a visionary but I am the executor. What is vision without action? A dream. Point. Blank. Period. I mean, really, would Jay-Z have risen to the stature of the mogul he is today without Beyonce? They were successful on their own but when he became associated with her, a different dynamic of the business world opened up to him just from the association.  I'll leave that there.

I have NO problems with being submissive and supportive, even when I do not agree. When he says move left. I move left. He is my husband and the head of our household. But I am NOT just the "doctor's wife". I am Iyonna. A boss. I am married to that guy, whom I love very much. I would've married him if he was an engineer, politician or computer geek. He just happens to be a doctor. But this here Fancy life BEEN fancy.....way before we were an item. I contribute just as much as he does. I motivate him to be better. He keeps me focused when I'm falling off of my grind. Being a wife is not easy. It takes balance, grace and lots of fake smiles and pleasantries when you really want to scream. Cooking, cleaning.....or at least knowing who to hire when you need those things done. Handling business. Staying fly. All while making sure your husband feels desired, needed and appreciated. This Fancy wife life ain't for the faint of heart but it's worth it...even when you don't always get credit.

Until next time, continue enjoying your Fancy life even when you don't get the acknowledgement you should.

Click HERE to learn more about the opportunity that allows me to contribute just as much as my husband.

Fancy Hair

Dry Twist Out that I didn't re-twist

I wear my hair natural. That means, I don't process it with chemicals to straighten it. I just let it flourish in it's kinky element. It's so funny to me because when I think my hair looks crazy, I get the most compliments. I get approached by hair admirers proclaiming that they wish they could wear their hair natural. I also get a lot of questions about my hair. Often from women who are trying to figure their own hair out. The most common questions I get are what products I use and what do I do to it when I style it. My cousin told me that I should start a separate hair blog, but quite honestly, I don't do enough to my hair to warrant a whole blog about it. I figured I post sporadically post hair stuff among the rest of my blogging.


In true "Fancy" fashion, I have some a few rules about how I view my hair and how I treat it. Here we go:

1. I let my hair be great. Sometimes it's fluffy, sometimes it's bushy. I don't fuss over it. I don't try to make sure every strand is in place. I don't try to make my hair look like someone else's. All of our hair textures are different. I have about 4 different textures and curl patterns in my own head. It's all in your mindset.
2. Moisture is the most important player when dealing with kinky hair. Keep your hair moisturized.....not oily.
3. Experiment to find out what works for you. You have to experiment with styling and products. What's good for one person doesn't necessarily work for someone else.
4. Avoid products with the following ingredients. These ingredients dry your hair which lead to breakage. ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL, MINERAL OIL & PETROLATUM, PEG, PROPYLENE GLYCOL (PG), SODIUM LAURYL SUFATE (SLS) & SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE (SLES), CHLORINE, DEA (diethanolamine) MEA (momoethnanolamine) TEA (triethanolamine), FD & C Color PIGMENTS, FRAGRANCE, and IMIDAZOLIDINYL UREA and DMDM HYDANTOIN.

Up Do

My hair routine is very simple, I don't use a whole plethora of products and I actually don't spend that much time doing my hair. It can seem like a long time but it's less than or equal to the amount of time people spend in the salon.

Cleansing and Conditioning
I am very active. I work out 3-4 days/week and I sweat...a lot. So it's very important for me to get to my scalp and get rid of the build up. In the summer I may shampoo weekly but mostly every 2 weeks. When I've been swimming, I shampoo using a sulfate free shampoo. Make sure you read the ingredients. All things labeled sulfate free are not. When I don't swim, I do an Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) rinse. Essentially, I section my hair and, using a spray bottle, I spray the ACV on my scalp and massage my scalp with my finger tips, not my nails. Then, I spray it on the length of my hair. This will loosen up the dirt and build up without drying it out like shampoo does. I twist each section as I go because my hair is super thick, getting long and out of control. LOL! Rinse. Then I do a co-wash. A co-wash is when you use conditioner instead of shampoo like you're washing it. I do the same thing I did with the ACV. Massaging my scalp and re-twisting. Rinse and repeat. If I'm deep conditioning, I apply the conditioner to the length of my hair. Sometimes I put a conditioner cap on....sometimes I don't. Rinse. I'm ready to style.

Wet Twist Out

Styling

My go-to style is a twist out. That works for me. In the summer, I twist it wet and pin it up into a style for a couple days. Then take it out when it's completely dry. In the winter, I alternate with dry twist outs and wet twist outs. The dry twist out tends to last longer. I can get about 3 weeks of styles from a dry twist out. Just witch hazel my scalp when it gets a little itchy.

Wet Twist Out: Results in tight, long lasting curls.
I don't have to spend time detangling because I did that while I was shampooing and conditioning. That also decreases the chances that my hair will dry out while I'm twisting. I take one section at a time, spray some leave in conditioner and comb it through. Then I apply the shea butter pomade that I make in my kitchen and comb it through. Two strand twist to the ends. Dassit.

Dry Twist Out: Results in loose curls that may require re-twisting every other night or super BIG hair.

Faux Hawk

Sit under a hood dryer to let all the excess water dry. Spray with leave in conditioner. Apply a little bit of my homemade pomade to each section. Then blow dry each section on low heat until it's no longer damp. For straighter hair, I may hit it on high for a couple seconds but not too much. I don't want to have heat damage. All dry, I part into sections and get to twisting. I spray a little mist of water and apply a creamy pomade as I twist to give structure to the twist. I might even spray the ends a little so they curl and the twist will stay in.

Up Do:

I don't do them often. They require daily up keep and I'm not about that life.

Dry Twist Out

Maintenance
Keeping your ends trimmed is important. I get my ends trimmed every 3-4 months. My stylist usually just blow dries and trims that way. I only get it straightened once a year, maybe twice. Straight hair requires too much attention for me and my hectic life as a medical professional and entrepreneur. Plus, it can cause heat damage if you're not careful. For a naturalista, heat damage is indicated by the straight hair when it should be curly. My twist out gets stuffed in a bonnet at night and fluffed out in the morning. Dassit. LOL!

Hair Product Details

After trial and error I have found that these things work best for me

• Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse: 1 part ACV and 3 parts filtered water
• Sei Bella Ultra-Luxury Moisture Shampoo
• Affinia Ultra Moisturizing Conditioner for co-wash
• Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Co-Wash Conditioning Cleanser 
• Sei Bella Luxury Ultra-Luxury Creme Conditioner for deep condition
• Sei Bella Hair Repair Masque for deep condition
• Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque for deep condition
• Sei Bella Leave In Detangling & Smoothing Spray
• Homemade Shea Butter Pomade: 1 cup of raw shea butter and 1/2 cup of jojoba oil. Whip it in the mixer until it appears "whipped". Then add a 1/2 cup coconut oil. Let it mix longer. The coconut oil will make it even more "whipped". 
• I buy fragranced shea butter from the Patapsco Flea market. I divide the tub in fours and use one fourth of the tub for each batch of pomade I make.
• My hair is thick and kinky, so I need lots of moisture. Feel free to add or subtract ingredients based on what your hair needs.
• I also make the same exact recipe using a different flavor for my skin. I've replaced cocoa butter with my own concoction.

Up do

I guess I can be considered a natural hair stylist. In my former life, I used to work in a salon as a natural hairstylist. If you would like individual coaching through your process, text WOODS to 55469. We can go from there.

Until next time....let your hair flourish in it's natural state or pass this on to someone looking for guidance in what to do with their natural hair.

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Relationship Resources

Although I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, my parents taught me the importance of being resourceful. If you find a knack for creating unlimited resources, you are limitless in what you can achieve. Please do not misinterpret what I am saying. While, money is considered to be a very valuable resource, the greatest resource on earth is people. Yup. That's right. People are the best resource you can ever attain. I'm not suggesting that you use people. I'm saying that each and every person you come in contact with has the potential can add value to your life. Each and EVERY one. Why do you think they say "Your network is your net worth."? I mean....it would just be that your net worth is your net worth, right?

Now of course, anyone in their right mind would love to know the secret to generating an unlimited bucket of money but there are just certain things money cannot buy you. Let's name them, shall we.

Things Money Cannot Buy:

• Love
• Real friends
• Happiness
• Style
• Class
• Wisdom

It may seem cliche to say "money can't buy you love" but it's true. The richest people in the world search for love if they don't have it while people who give and receive love feel like they are wealthy. Having a circle that will never let them go without is priceless. There have been plenty of times when I didn't have enough saved up to buy things I needed or to pay for services that were long overdue. However, I have real friends and people that love me who step in and make it happen without them even knowing they are doing me a huge favor. For that reason, I have a few rules for myself when I interact with people. All people. You never know when someone can help you or will remember that time you talked to them harshly and decide not to help you out.

1. Always smile when you greet people- I know. I know. At least try to smile. No one is perfect.
2. When people are talking to you, be interested in what they are saying....well, at least don't let on that you are not interested if you aren't. People have feelings. It won't kill you to listen. You never know how just being a listening ear can impact someones life.
3. Always try to offer kind, uplifting, positive words. There is always a silver lining. Find it and point it out.

First impressions are soooooo important. You can be the person that they don't mind helping out with a favor or you can be the person that they want to avoid at all costs. It's your choice. 

Living the Fancy life, I make an effort to bring value to people's lives. Be it offering a hug when you see someone needs it, connecting someone to a network they wouldn't otherwise have access to or putting someone in a position to build a business and better future for their family. Don't get it twisted. I know my limits. I don't allow myself to get taken advantage of. I wrote a blog about that too. LOL! I choose to interact with people who bring value to my life. I believe in positive vibes only. I have good relationships with people from all walks of life. It feels just as good to get a few extra shrimp on your salad in the cafeteria because the chef thinks you're sweet as it does for you to get the deal of a lifetime on your dream home because you've done a few favors for your real estate agent out of the kindness of your heart. All these things can come from establishing relationships and choosing to pay it forward.

Until next time, be nice to people and add value while you enjoy your Fancy life.

Wearing the Crown

Do you wear the crown? You know. "The Crown". What is the "crown" anyway? Let's take a "crown" wearing quiz? Do people always come to you with their problems? Not just your close friends and family looking for a listening ear or a problem solving session. I'm talking about random people in the grocery store or doctor's office. How about at work? Does everyone in your office look to you for the solutions? Are you the one always caught in the middle of family feuds and everyone expects you to resolve it? Do you have an issue with mediocrity? Like, when you are put on task, you can only crank out stellar results? Do you go to great lengths trying to help someone we great? So much so that it seems that you want greater for them than they want for themselves? Are you constantly looking for ways to improve.......everything? Have you been challenged with doing a job better than someone else and you actually did it better?

If you answered yes to 90% of those questions, then you wear "The Crown". Don't cry. I know, it's a hard life. But, because you are awesome, you wouldn't have it any other way. You are the person that gets rewarded with more responsibility at work because you're so good at what you do. They know you will be top notch with more. You proof read your friends' and family's resumes. You get put on planning committees for family reunions and baby showers even when you insist on not being involved. You will eventually be the glue that keeps your family together when your parents pass and your parents know this. Your significant other looks to you when there is a disaster because history has shown that you can fix anything.

You may not have ever thought of it this way, but it is all your fault. If you weren't so good at everything, no one would look to you for help, input or guidance. It's a simple theory. No one begs Aunt Carolyn to bring those nasty biscuits to holiday dinner every year if they're nasty the first year. They ask Aunt Helen to make them because Aunt Helen's biscuits are delicious. She does a great job with each and every batch.

How do you cope with wearing the crown? You must have outlets. These can be regular outings with other crown wearers. You can bounce other Crown-like ideas off of each other. Maybe have a rant session about how draining it is to be so awesome everyday. LOL! This is the only place ranting is allowed.  Therapy is a good one. Therapist are trained professionals who can suggest clinically proven methods to fit your personality and lifestyle. Don't sleep on therapy. A few good therapy sessions can keep your anxiety levels low for years to come. Reading, shopping, traveling, cuddling, laying on the couch......pretty much anything that you do strictly for your own enjoyment can be used as an outlet.

Here are 5Linx to maintaining your sanity while you sport your precious crown:

1. Never reduce your standards. You wear the crown because you are great and no one can take that away from you.
2. Be kind but firm. We have to maintain our high level of expectations. However, we can communicate in warm tones. Season your words with salt. They will be received better.
3. The word "no" should be an integral part of your vocabulary. Your peace of mind is your most valuable asset. Some times you have to say "no" in order to maintain that.
4. Help out where your help is deserved. Sometimes we want to lend a helping hand where we see a need but we know our efforts will not be appreciated. Never allow people to take your efforts to be wasted.
5. Always look for the silver lining. Perspective is EVERYTHING. Having a positive outlook can completely change the outcome of a situation for the better.

When you accept your "Fancy" crown, it comes with benefits as well as challenges. Wear your crown with pride but remember to utilize your outlets to maintain your own happiness. If you wear a crown and feel the need to collaborate with others who wear the same crown, text WOODS to 55469. 

Until next time, wear your "Fancy" crown with pride....

But it's hard.....

When I was about 10 years old, I was extremely active. Piano lessons, modern dance, karate, basketball team, girl scouts and let's not forget church activities. I'm talking ushering, choir, and any community volunteering activities offered. I specifically remember aching pains in my knees whenever I participated in any physical activity. It happened so often that my parents took me to the doctor to see what was wrong with me. The doctor diagnosed me with "growing pains". What the heck is that?!?! My grandmother could have told me that. I eventually stopped experiencing that pain in my knees and I reached a disappointing height of 5'4", shattering my dreams of becoming a runway model. LOL! However, life still had some "growing pains" for me to experience. While I stopped growing physically, I had a long way to go in this thing called life. I went through typical high school/teenage girl drama. I learned some valuable lessons about love and money while in undergrad.

When I was 24 years old, I started graduate school. I had taken a year off from school after completing two undergraduate programs and was working full time at night. I purposely took a night shift position so that I could pursue my Masters degree in Forensic Science full time during the day, so not to take longer than necessary to complete the program. This proved to be one of the most difficult times in my life. I had just purchased a house and moved out of my parents' home. So I went from being surrounded by people, love and lots of noise to nothing. Silence. No one to wash my clothes, cook dinner, wash the dishes, talk to, sit and watch tv with. Nothing. I didn't realize how depressing that was, even though my parents checked on my everyday because I had only moved 5 blocks down the street. LOL! I was working at night in a pretty stressful environment. The work itself could be stressful but it didn't help that the people I worked with had preconceived notions about my abilities because of my appearance. You get my drift? The director of my graduate program gave me a hard time about working full time while I was in school. Like, literally called me in his office to tell me that I shouldn't be working while I'm in his program. All of these factors led to a monthly conversation with my daddy about me quitting school. My dad made sure I didn't quit when it got hard. I graduated from graduate school on time.

What did he say in those monthly conversations? To sum it up, he said, "Life is hard. Five years from now, you'll look back at your life and think 'I went through that and it wasn't so bad.' If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and everyone can't be in charge." 

And he was so right. The work and school drama I was going through at the time totally trumped not having a date to my senior prom. And the anxiety of not knowing who I was taking to my senior prom overshadowed the devastation of getting an Unsatisfactory on my progress report for Algebra I in the ninth grade. We live and we grow. It hurts at the time but when we get through it, we have grown in the process. If you aren't growing, you're dying.

I am an ambitious person. I reached my career goals in record time. Now I am on to the next phase of my life. I am working on something completely out of my comfort zone. It is a different kind of challenge. Challenge = HARD!!! But I hold my father's words near my heart. I can see the growth in my personal development and bank account as a result of it, so I know it's worth it. 

If you are dealing with a situation that seems "hard", push through. Congratulations, you are growing! Everything you ever wanted in life is just outside of your comfort zone. If you are contemplating making a change in your life but you are afraid that it may be difficult for you, dive in head first, it will always be hard if you never get started. Whatever it is, being scared of it is a sign that it's something you should strongly consider. Jehovah created us to be great. Remember, the easy thing to do is usually what the majority of people do. But we are living the Fancy Life, so we want more. We are exceptional. We do what's hard now and it eventually becomes easy. We can add these accomplishments to our list and move on to the next set of challenges, building your confidence along the way.

No, living a Fancy Life isn't always easy but it's definitely worth it in the end.

If your are looking for something more but aren't exactly sure what it is, click here, I'm sure we can help you. Text 'woods' to 55469.

Until next time......

Never Let Them See You Sweat

What were thinking when we decided to become adults? No. Seriously. What were we thinking? Being a responsible adult is stressful. Between dealing with family, work, and relationships, you hardly have any time to yourself to wrap your head around everything that you are doing. Then it happens, some catastrophe comes along out of nowhere and you feel a nervous breakdown coming on. What do you do? Welp. It depends. I've seen stressful situations handled in many different ways. The shut down and can't move forward. Others just breakdown and cry. I've watched someone just act like nothing ever happen. I have dealt with these types of situations in several different ways. Well, two different ways.

1. I shut my office door or go in my closet or go to my car and have a good cry. Only for a little bit. I give myself 30 minutes.
   
   After that's done, I get myself together, touch up my face, and handle my business.
2. I handle my business without a glitch. When it is all done, if I'm still overwhelmed, I shut my office door or go in my closet or go to my car and have a good cry.

Notice how my business always get's handled. Emotions should never effect you getting your coin. Why? Because if you missed your money in the name of a feeling, that missed opportunity cannot be retrieved. You will never have a bad feeling when you're getting paid. Trust me.

Have you ever seen a duck or swan swimming? They look like they're just gliding along. However, under water, those feet are paddling as if their life depends on it. When you are facing adversity, everyone does not need to see you panic. If you are living the "Fancy Life", you know people are watching and taking notes. Your "Get it done" mindset can flow through you and drip on your colleagues, creating a winning team attitude. This is what living a Fancy Life is all about. Being a pilar of light in the darkness. You solve the problem with your head held high and when no ones looking, cry like a baby now that it's OVER. Notice, cry once it's over but it's ok to breakdown. Never let your emotions stall your productivity.

Until next time, never let anyone see you sweat. You're living a Fancy Life and you don't sweat....in public.

If you are would like to join our winning team. Click here. All are welcome. Open mind and heart are the only requirements.

"I'm a groooowwwnnn woman, I do whatever I want...."

Have you ever tried something different? And I don't mean a new nail polish color. I mean something reeeeeaaallllyyy different. Like, going from long flowing hair to a really short haircut. Or maybe you decide to quit your job, sell all of your belongings, and move to Madagascar to become a missionary. What reaction do you get from people close to you when tell them your plans? You probably get questions that imply they think you're out of your mind. "You're gonna wear what?" "You're going WHERE for vacation? By yourself!?!?!" "You invested in what? Why?" Sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Take that loving advice with a grain of salt and stick to what you know is good for you. Do what you want to do. Do what makes you happy. What Jehovah has for you, is for you. Your lane is your lane. Sometimes people will deflect their own insecurities on you. In their minds, they are protecting you from certain dangers when in actuality, their concerns are based on their own fears. Take it in stride. They mean well.

In school we are penalized for making mistakes. Growing up we are usually taught not to participate in high risk activities. These are pertinent lessons when involving bodily harm or certain death but it usually spills over into how we process matters of intellect and finance. It is not common knowledge that most successful people in the world failed their way to success because all we see is the end result of all of their hard work. We don't see the idea board full of strategies that didn't work out so well. They took risks that most weren't willing to take, so they can live a life that most cannot even dream of living. Happy people don't let other's opinions stop them from doing what they want to do. Successful people do what they want and make their vision a reality.  Be a risk taker. Wear what makes you feel good about yourself. Stand your ground. Push limits. Don't just go with the flow. Ask why. If you don't like the answer, take strides to change it. Set unreasonable goals and plan to accomplish them. Decide what you want to do and do it.

Doing what you want to do is sooooo important. If you aren't solid in your own decisions, your decisions will become based on what everyone else thinks instead of the desires of your heart. Everyone close to you will be running your life. You will look up one day with someone else's idea of a successful career, sporting a hairstyle you never really liked, wearing a dress your mother picked out, driving a car your husband picked out for you instead of what you really wanted. If you are serious and stick to your guns, they will see why you are doing what you did. The proof is always in the pudding. You can show them better than you can tell them anyway. Then, instead of questioning your decisions, they will brag about how proud they are of you for living your dreams and being an individual.

Keep doing what you want to do, until next time....

Click here to take advantage of a tool that thousands are using to be able to do exactly what they want to do

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Shopping With Fancy

When living a Fancy Life, you have to keep your money where you can see it, IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT! I bet you thought I was going to say "in your closet" like our favorite Sex In The City character. Nope. Not me. In my household, we pride ourselves on a bargain. If I can score a $1600 handbag for $400, my husband is all for it. Everything has to be a deal or at least reasonably priced. The first rule of thumb is to never pay retail. Everything is negotiable. Somewhere, someone is trying to get rid of the very thing you're looking for at a price of little to nothing.

Budget:
You should ALWAYS have a budget when you are shopping. We like nice things and we work hard, so we deserve to treat ourselves every now and then. But being fancy doesn't require you breaking the bank to buy "things". There will always be some new handbag, dress, boot, sandal, etc. that you just HAVE to have. Avoid blowing your budget at all costs. There are a few exceptions to this rule but we typically stick with our budget.

Shopping in the Mall:

I try to avoid the mall at all costs. If I am in the mall, it's because I'm shopping for a special occasion at the last minute or I wanted a single cupcake. LOL! I generally go straight to the clearance section to peruse the sale. If I'm looking at regular priced merchandise, it's because I have a coupon or I know someone who is going to give me their employee discount. Although I try to avoid it, I sometimes have to pay full price for my husband's shoes. Men's shoes are so expensive and the styles never really change so they're hardly ever on sale. Womp! In any store, I grab everything I like until I can't find anything else. This can eliminate any "run backs". A "run back" is when you can't stop thinking about that thing you put back and decided you wanted it again. We try to avoid these because, usually, if you want it, some one else will too. I've had a few traumatizing experiences when I changed  my mind and tried to "run back", only to find my coveted item in
someone else's hands. *sigh* Once I have everything I like, I can begin the process of elimination.

Shopping Online:
I LOVE shopping online. You can find pretty much anything your little heart desires from the convenience of your couch and they bring it right to your doorstep within a day or two. I put everything I want in my cart, just like at the mall. Then I search the specific item to make sure I'm getting the best price. The cost of shipping can be a killer with online shopping. If I'm purchasing your item, I want it shipped for free. So, I think long and hard about if I'm going to purchase something if shipping is not free. There are very few instances when I will pay for shipping. The reason being is that someone, some where is willing to ship it for free. A lot of sites try to sucker you in by offering free shipping if you spend a certain amount. It's a trap!!! don't let them get you! You will end up spending $100 to get free shipping all you really wanted was a $20 necklace. Then I do the process of elimination in my cart.

Process of Elimination:
At the mall or in store, this process begins in the fitting room. I dread the fitting room, but if I only budgeted for 2 dresses and I've picked up 8, something has got to give. Sometimes, what I thought was my size is not. Other times, what looks great on the hanger, doesn't look so hot on me. The fitting room usually eliminates at LEAST 1 item, if not more. Online, I look at shipping and the budget as well. Then I ask myself the following questions:

• Do I really NEED it?
• Is it in the budget?
• Is shipping free?
• Is this item worth paying for shipping?
• If it's not in the budget, will I be thinking about it next week if I don't get it?
• If it's not in the budget, is the deal of a lifetime that I will never see again?

The rule about breaking the budget is, if you're still going to be thinking about it next week, get it. If you will never see a price this low again, get it even if it's over budget. Other than that, put it back. You don't need it. Next week, you may see something you like even better and will be glad you held off the first go around.

You have to have money in the bank to live a Fancy Life, so keep it there. Always look for a bargain. When you go shopping, grab everything you like because it may not be available if you change your mind. Stay within your budget, unless you think that item will be haunting you forever if you don't get it. Things come and go. Don't break the bank acquiring them.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life...within your budget!

Click here to find out how to increase your bank account.

WINNING!!!

I'm not sure who coined that phrase, but I must say....it's awesome!! Being able to look at a situation, no matter what it is and say "WINNING!!" can change your whole outlook on life. I do it all the time. Small victories. Big accomplishments. Why? Well, mainly because it's fun to say. You most certainly cannot say "WINNING!!" without making some big gesture with your arms and a goofy grin. Someone will randomly see you doing it, they will laugh and then you will laugh at yourself. Next thing you know, multiple people are laughing. You're "WINNING!" can start a laughing frenzy that completely changes someones frown upside down. The underlying goal is to always look for the good. You will find yourself being happy about life when everything you can think of is going wrong. Being happy is contagious.

WINNING! Solid food after completing a 3 day juice fast.

A few examples:
1. Your work archenemy has been sending you multiple emails that are making your blood boil and your reply shuts that little bugger up. WINNING!
2. You're carrying a plate, glass of water, silverware, napkins, cell phone, and tablet into the living room so that you can eat in peace while you text from your phone and tweet from your tablet. Then BOOM!! You drop your glass and water spills everywhere. WINNING! You still have your food. WINNING! Your phone and tablet didn't get wet. WINNING! It's only water, so you can let it air dry instead of having to mop. LOL!
3. You pass your certification exam that you've been studying to take for over a year. WINNING!
4. You miss your train. WINNING! You have time to sit down and have some restaurant food while you wait for the next one.
5. Your kids wash the dishes. They use half a bottle of detergent and leave the floor soaking wet. WINNING! The dishes are clean.

I could go on and on, but the point is that being optimistic about all circumstances makes life less stressful. You're free to be Fancy because you ain't worried about nothing. Take pride in seeing the rainbow after the thunderstorm and then pointing it out to everyone to enjoy. WINNING!

Until next time....

Fancy First Impressions

Human beings are judgemental. God says do not judge but guess what. We are designed in His image and guess what God does....judge people. LOL! Most Christians will say that they aren't judgemental but the truth is that we all do it. When you walk into a room full of people that you have never met before and every last one of them will form an opinion about your before you even say two words. That's just the God's honest truth.

This why first impressions are important. Granny was giving us great advice when she told us to always put our best foot forward. My mother came from a generation of prim and proper debutants. Hats, gloves, corsets, and not one hair out of place. I grew up being required to get dressed when I left the house. No "throwing something on". Hair had to be combed. Why? Because you never know who you'll run into when once you step out. You could meet your soul mate. You could run into Oprah. You could meet a potential business partner. I mean, isn't it an awesome feeling when you run into an ex and you look GREAT?  You really NEVER know.

I take first impressions very seriously. Even when I'm dressed down, I try to look fashionable. I don't always wear makeup but I usually keep my lipgloss popping. Hair is another story. Mainly because wild hair is in. Wild hair is my signature. All my hairs are out of place but my hair is always clean and in some cute style, even if it's a wild fro. No pajama pants. No bonnets. If I'm wearing work out clothes, I don't smell like I've come from the gym. Point is, I take effort to look presentable, even when I'm not done up. You won't catch me slippin. Nope.

Outward appearance is just a part of it. Your facial expressions, tone, and body language say just as much about you as your clothing. I am a business woman, so I always have a million things going on in my brain at any point in time. My "deep in thought" look can come off as a scowl and makes me look unapproachable.  I make a conscious effort to smile when I enter a room and to say hello when I make eye contact with a stranger. I try to appear jolly and nice because, well, I am. I wouldn't want to deter anyone who may want to strike up a convo with me about my shoes because they think I'm a mean girl. After all, I am in the business of making friends. Smiles are contagious. It's amazing how an attractive person smiling at you when you're having a bad day can change your outlook on that day. Finally, I am aware of the way I talk to people. The way you say things is very important. While I am big on customer service, you will more than likely have a better experience when you are nice to the person helping you.

It is totally fine to not care what people think of you. How likely is it that you will run into those people who witnessed you going off on the cashier in Marshalls ever again? Highly unlikely but it could happen. Imagine walking into your dream job interview and your potential manager remembers you as the crazy lady in Marshalls. Their first impression of you was made in Marshalls when you were acting a plum fool, not at the interview. What people think matters then, right?

First impressions matter. Look presentable. Be pleasant. You never know who is watching you.

Until next time, keep your first impressions Fancy.