Fearless Fancy

Growing up, I was a busy child. Always taking at least one performing arts lesson and participating in at least one sport through out the year. Never any breaks, that means even through out the summer months I was doing something.
Participating in these kinds of activities as a kid gave me a different kind of mindset when it came to trying new things and stepping out into unknown territory. It helped develop my "thick skin" and self esteem.

I took piano lessons for about 10 years. I played classical music mostly. In those 10 years of lessons, the music became more difficult to master but the steps to mastering it were the same. You learn a new skill that's applied to the art, tackle the new music in digestible parts. When each part is mastered, put them all together. Voila! You are playing your classical piece like Chopin himself. At the time, I didn't realize that these piano lessons were actually teaching me life lessons. As adults, we are confronted with situations we have never dealt with before, it makes us uncomfortable. But this is the natural progression of things. After 10 years of lessons and coaching and scales and arpeggios and hand stretches to reach chords, my parents would be disappointed if I were still playing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" with my pointer fingers just because it was easy for me to do that. They expected to hear me fumbling through on Chopin's Nocturne Op.9 No.2 until I got it right or they'd think they were wasting their money. LOL! In performing arts, we are always mastering new skills and testing our limits. No fear. We will get it with enough practice. Well, some times. With small hands, there were always some chords I just couldn't reach cuz it wasn't physically possible. Ha!

It's the same with sports. Although I participated in some team sports, I was never really an "athlete". It just wasn't in my blood. LOL! But, athletes have thick skin just like performers. Constantly getting critiqued. Being told how to improve. Getting scored. Getting judged. Winning competitions. Losing competitions. Auditioning for shows. Trying out for teams. Getting the gig. Not getting the gig. Making the team. Getting cut from the team. It's just what comes with the territory.

When I won a competition, there usually wasn't a big celebration cuz I was supposed to win. I mean, I had been practicing for 3 hours everyday. There was no reason I shouldn't have won. When I didn't win. It was not the end of the world. There is always someone out there better than you or with more natural talent. I'd just have to work harder before the next one. There are always more competitions for you to compete in and win. The scoring sheet would reveal what I needed to improve on so that I could work on it and win the next time.

Life is full of victories but you have to go through some losses along the way. The losses teach you character. The wins build your confidence. Losing or messing up or making a mistake never stopped me from practicing that show piece until it was perfected. A situation in life not turning out how I wanted it to never stopped me from living. Things are as they should be and when they aren't how I want them to be, I've realized that I have a lesson to learn and some things in my life that I need to work on.

Perfecting a new craft takes practice. You will fumble but that's just apart of the process. Don't be scared to push yourself beyond what you think you can do. You will surprise yourself. Test your limits. If you never test them, you will never know your full potential. Jump into new opportunities with both feet. No fear. And don't give up until you are a pro.

Live your Fancy life without fear.

If you are interested in doing something different and mastering a new craft that will foster personal development, click HERE.

Ice. Cold.

A very close friend of mine modified my "nickname" by adding Ice Cold to it. So, sometimes he calls me "Ice" or "Ice Cold Fancy". We laugh about it because it's really not true. Well, it's not all the way true. My college roommate says I'm the most generous person she knows. I will give my last, even when that means I have to go without. I go above and beyond. People close to me benefit from my generosity. But what does that mean for me? Because all actions have repercussions...good and bad.

How can being generous, loving and caring have a negative consequences? I'll tell you how. I get hurt. I get hurt badly. I get hurt badly....repeatedly by people I love. I do things for people I love because I love them. I do for people I don't know because I'm caring. And it's totally out of the kindness of my heart. I get hurt when I feel like my actions are not appreciated. I know everyone isn't vocal and can't express themselves with words. Those people usually show appreciation with small gestures. I know I am appreciated. That's all I ask. Just show appreciation the best way you can.

Now, I am not going to let people change who I am at my core. Jehovah made me this way. I am genuine. Jesus taught us to love one another. I am loving. However, I will not continue to put myself in positions to get hurt. I am a strong believer that you teach people how to treat you. If I accept treatment that hurts me, the offender will continue to hurt me. It's a proven fact. So, I will love, support, treat, buy, chauffeur....you name it. I will do it for you. The very minute I am hurt, I expect accountability. Own it and apologize. I am forgiving. We are all human. I can't expect someone to forgive me when I have wronged them when I am not willing to forgive them. HOWEVER, if the offender is not willing to take my feelings into account and apologize for how their actions or lack there of effected me.....my eyes are opened. I realize that person will have to be loved from a distance. You will no longer reap the benefits of "loving" Fancy. You get cordial, professional Ice Cold Fancy. Take it personal. It's a defense mechanism. I have to protect myself because no human being cares more about me....than I do.

Having a big heart sometimes allows me to get hurt. However, I never stop loving people that I truly love. But I will not continually subject myself to poor treatment. Call me Ice Cold. I just don't want to become bitter and lash out on people who don't deserve it because someone else in my life didn't want to be held accountable for how they hurt me. I pull the weeds from the root and continue to enjoy my Fancy life. Unbothered. Loving fun. Giving freely. Performing random acts of kindness. While those who didn't prove to deserve that from me only see Ice Cold.

Until next time. Stay away from those people who hurt you repeatedly and enjoy your Fancy life.....without them.

Your Comfort Zone

You know what a "comfort zone" is, don't you? It's where you feel comfortable. Be it a job, an activity, a hairstyle, style of clothing, a relationship....I could go on. You get the idea, a comfort zone is were you feel safe. Sometimes being comfortable can hold you back from developing into your full potential.
In the past 3 years of my life, I have been put in multiple situations where I had to step outside of my comfort zone. First it was financial comfort, I put myself in a position of financial "discomfort", so to speak, in order to advance my career. While in the midst of it, it seemed horrible and unbearable but that one calendar year flew by and now we're back on track...financially, anyway. My teaching position, was total leap of faith. I had NEVER imagined myself as a professor, but I stepped out of my comfort zone and, while it's challenging at times, I actually enjoy teaching. Plus, it provides extra funding for my shoe habit. I gave up my long, sleek, infamous "wrap" hairstyle for a wild, natural bush. My new gig, I didn't have any supervisory experience per se, outside of didactic training, but I stepped out of my comfort zone of being an irresponsible bench technologist and jumped in head first as a manager. Now I'm a BAWSE, as Rick Ross says. On my own intuition, I would have NEVER imagined that I would live in the mansion we purchased back in November 2010. I wasn't so sure we could afford it but, in the end it all worked out and we no live in our dream home because we stepped outside of our comfort things.

Matters concerning money, jobs, and homes are things we deal with frequently. But this past weekend was the culmination of me not only stepping out of my comfort zone but totally stepping into a realm where I had NO IDEA what I was doing. I'm talking about planning a BIG event. Not a little party at my house, we're talking a venue, obtaining zoning permits, liquor licenses, vendors, etc. This event was called "Fashioned for Education" and it was a fundraiser for my high school alumnae association. While planning, I hit plenty of speed bumps and discouraging set backs, but I kept on trudging through. In retrospect, there were many a thing I wish had been different or better, however the overall feedback from attendees was positive. The older alumnae were impressed and the alumnae president is now excited about next year's "Fashioned for Education" fundraiser, confirming her decision to appoint me to the fundraising chair.

In the case of "Fashioned for Education" I learned a lot. I learned about myself, who my REAL friends and supporters are, how selfish people are, how selfLESS people are, etc. All of these life lessons I learned because I stepped outside of my comfort zone.  It was one of THE biggest challenges/risks I've ever taken on in my life. Who knew the fundraising chair that never planned an event a day in her life, could pull together such an elegant event? I, by no means, take all of the credit. I had PLENTY of help and input from people who knew what they were doing, but it was my initiative and creativity. I didn't know I had it in me....but now I do.

Look out world, Fancy is coming for you. I think I'm going to make it my business to do something different and new at least once a year. My series of life events has taught me that NOTHING bad can come from abandoning your comfort zone. You may not be a complete success, but you always learn valuable lessons. A wise man once told me that "Anything worth doing is going to be hard, but if it were easy everyone would be doing it."
Learn something about yourself..step outside of your comfort zone.