The Emotional Roller Coaster of Entrepreneurship

One of my loves, who is actually the reason why I started blogging again after taking a couple years hiatus, started a meet up for black women entrepreneurs. I was very picky about how I spent my time because, well, I didn't have much to spare. However, since taking my jump, I'm more open to opportunities to network and get out of the house. I'm oucheah! Cuz ain't nobody gonna know about my product if I don't get out in deez streetz and tell them.

Anyway, the meet up was such a blessing. It was a protected space where we, black women, who always have to be strong and look like we have it together, could be vulnerable and express our needs. A few key takeaways were that:

• Entrepreneurship is lonely
• It is scientifically proven that human beings are designed to operate in a team

Let's start with the loneliness of it all, as I sit in my living room alone writing this blog. Yeah. It seems cool to have the freedom during the day to schedule things as I please. I don't have the constant interruptions of office mates and colleagues asking me dumb questions. However, that can backfire because I am alone with my thoughts, which leads to the next take a way.....

Human beings are designed to operate in a team. We are not meant to do things alone. It leads to the dreaded emotional roller coaster that comes with entrepreneurship. There are days when you feel like you can take over the world and get it all done. There are other days where it is all too much and you just wanna take a nap. Then there are the days that you feel like you aren't doing enough, that you are a complete loser, and you start to rethink your life choices. All because you're by yourself. I mean, look at some stories of people being stranded after some kind of accident. A group of people is more likely to survive than a single person in the exact same circumstances. Let that sink in.

So, even though I know all of that, I had a bad day this week. I did it too myself. It was not warranted. I started comparing my progress to someone else's. I wondered if I could make it happen. I wondered when my growth would reach it's tipping point. I wondered what I was doing wrong. Then I snapped out of it and gave myself some kudos, like my therapist taught me. After that, I had a conversation with a sister friend about being emotional. She reminded me of who I am and also reminded me of the source of those emotions *whispers* cuz she knows my real life. Then said "You'll be alright. Just keep swimming." She was right. I snapped out of it.

But then I had to talk about that roller coaster moment with someone who was at the meet up with me. My cousin, who is also my attorney. I hit her up and said "cousin confessions". LOL! I told her about my emotional roller coaster and what triggered it. We laughed at me for being "crazy" then we started talking about strategy and timelines. We had a few "ah ha" moments and felt good about Fancy Free when we ended the conversation.

The point is, who knows how long I would've been in that funk had I not reached out to my team to at

 least talk about it. Entrepreneurship is not easy. It takes a lot of mental tenacity to make it through each day with the growth, set backs, highs, and lows. Any success story has a team of people pushing the main character through. Your team does not have to be in the same industry, it's just important to have a safe place where you can be vulnerable and receive encouragement. 

In the end, I know that I made the right decision. My father and husband always remind me that the tough choice is usually the best choice and that nothing worth having will be easy to come by. 

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The Fancy Lane

A wise man, my daddy, once told me, "The more education you get, the more you know about less and less." When he first said that to me, I was scratching my head like "Whaaaa???" Then one day it hit me.
I am a certified specialist in my field. I know a whole lot about one subject, but I don't know everything about everything. What I do know is how to use my resources to find the information I need. People come to me with questions because I'm the "expert". There are plenty of times when I have to say "Let me look in the reference manual." It's called being resourceful. Being resourceful can be as simple as going to Google when you aren't sure how to spell a word, knowing which textbook to refer to before making major decision for your office, or having a relationship with your neighbor who can get you discounted parts for your car. All viable resources. The key is, knowing when to tap into them.

It is very important to recognize your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, things we aren't so good at. People have way more respect for you when you can say "I do not know" and get back to them after consulting your resources than when you "fake the funk". No one wants to be around a know it all. What's worse than a know it all? A know it all who doesn't know what they're talking about.

The most effective leaders and successful business owners are great delegators. They know that people are resources and utilize them to accomplish a goal. People are one of the most valuable resources you can utilize. In work environments, you establish respect with your "team", so that you know things will get done with integrity when you delegate. Does the president lead a military attack? No. That task is delegated to the military experts. He simply gives the instruction. In business, you establish relationships with people by offering support for others so they will be willing to work with you if that option ever comes around. I mean, why do you think Beyoncé has a glam squad? She stays in her lane, focusing on making music and performing because she hired people to handle hair, make up, and wardrobe. She gives them her vision, they make it happen. Everyone in their lane, working together to make up the perfect team. My father does great with sheet rock and painting but when it comes to electricity and plumbing, he calls in an electrician and a plumber. He knows his limits and when to call for help. Better to do that than to electrocute himself.

I'm not suggesting that you never try to do anything new. If you are pursuing new interests, I recommend seeking guidance from someone who knows what they're doing. A mentor of sorts. Then LISTEN to what they say. DO what they tell you to do. Do NOT do what they tell you to avoid. When I planned my first big event, I asked my expert event planning friend for advice. When she told me what to do, I did exactly what she said to do. I asked questions when I needed clarification. I knew I didn't know what I was doing the first time around. Event planning wasn't my lane. And you know what? I had an epic event because of it.

The point is, when you have a craft, perfect it. Become an expert who is resourceful but not a "know it all". Stay in your lane. Do not try to do everything when you are leading a team. Delegate tasks to people who can do that job better than you can. When starting new ventures, ask an expert and stick to their instructions until you feel comfortable doing it on your own.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life....in your lane.