Why?

Ask any kid what they want to be when they grow up and they will probably tell you something very prestigious. An actor. An astronaut. A basketball star. The President of the United States. A singer. And then.......life gets in the way and they forget about their big dreams. Some adult tells them why they can't accomplish these things. They are given all the reasons we cannot make these big dreams become a reality. And sometimes life's circumstances just get in the way.

At an early age, music professional recognized the musician in me. My father gave me some good sound advice based on his life experiences. He encouraged me to go to a college preparatory high school and work on my academics, get good grades, go to college, get a good job and THEN you do the things you "like" to do, as in play around with music. My father taught me to be practical. No more dreams of grandeur.

My husband's parents taught him the same things. The first six years of our relationship, we were in training. Graduate school, residency, training programs, etc. We were in our late twenties and still living like college students. I finally made it out of training. I specialized in my field. I became a Medical Laboratory Scientist Specialist in Blood Banking. I got my "dream job" -in quotations because who really WANTS a job- before the age of 30. I was managing a blood bank and making the salary I had aimed to make at that point in life. My husband had just finished residency when I started my dream job and we had negotiated a contract with his current employer. We were almost to exactly where we wanted to be in our professional life. Obstacles came when my husband's start date was not until NINE months after he finished his residency. How did that create an obstacles? Well, it means he was unemployed for nine months before that salary we had negotiated would begin hitting our bank accounts. 

During those nine months, we bought our dream home. We closed on it four months before he actually started making his big time doctor salary. Long short....we were broker than we had ever been for about six months during a time in life when were supposed to be living abundantly. It was really bad. Like, I was calling my father for gas money and we were alternating who's parents house we were going to eat dinner at every night. Broker than we had been in our pseudo-college student budget days. We knew it was a phase. But it was a very humbling time in our lives. We could see the light at the end of the tunnel. We were getting closer to his start date and we finally got a tenant in our old house. 

Jehovah will send you what you need when you need it but we don't always recognize it. I was talking to a college friend about life in this nine month period of broke-ness. I was joking about how broke we were at the time....laughing to keep from crying. My college friend was telling me about this "thing" he was doing and how my husband and I could make a lot of money. He suggested that we take a look at it. I was like "No." A flat "no". I was over  my hustling days of working 4 jobs. I had my one good job and I knew things would get better when my husband started working. And when he started working, things got better. We were taking our parents out for dinner. Going on vacations. Really, living the Fancy life to it's full capacity. 

Then...it happened. We filed income taxes for the first time when both of us had been earning at our full potential. We learned at that time why they say DINK for Dual Income No Kids. They call it that cuz "DINK!!" is what you say when you see how much you will owe the federal government in taxes when you fit in that category. It was really bad. My accountant suggested we buy a bigger house, have a baby, or start a home based business. That night, I called my college friend and got started with his "thing". I didn't even know what it was. I didn't care. I just knew a few things. I knew that he was my friend and wouldn't set me up for failure. I knew that he was making a lot of money with this thing, so I could make a lot of money. But most importantly, we needed a reprieve on taxes because it could only get worse as our salaries increased. So, I got started. 

It's so funny how you can start a project to make a small improvement in your life and the project can completely change your life. I started my home based business just looking for tax benefits that rental properties and donating money couldn't give me and now I am transforming. I am becoming a better person. This venture has taught me a lot about myself and gave me the desire to develop and improve. My "dream job" has become something I do because I like it and I'm really good at it, not because I need the money. This shift in mindset has totally changed how I manage "work stress" and life stress as well. I have never been around a group of more positive and helpful people in my adult life. My husband and I are able to dream again, just like we are kids. I can travel more than I used to, do things for our family, and, most importantly, not owe an arm and a leg to the IRS at the end of the year. It's been great!! 

Are you looking for something different but aren't quite sure what it is? Has adult life gotten in the way of you living the life you dreamed about as a child? Do you just want to finally get a refund when you file taxes? We can help you dream again. All these things are possible and more. Click HERE and we will contact you to share the details and get you on the path to live your dreams.

The Fancy Wife Life

I am a married woman. Why wouldn't I be? I'm awesome, if I do say so myself. It was only a matter of time before some poor, unsuspecting soul would get trapped into my web and feel like he could not live without me. Don't get me wrong, my husband is a catch as well. He has been such a blessing to my family but more so a blessing to me. To a strong, independent woman, marrying a great guy has it's pros and cons. I blame society for the cons and thank him for being "great". I get to take advantage of all the pros.

Prior to being married, I was accustomed to a certain lifestyle, the Fancy life, that I financed on my own. So my husband did not upgrade my life. I been on. LOL! In fact, my Fancy life is one of the things that he was attracted to. There was a time when I worked 4 jobs. Yes, FOUR. Not because I needed to but because I had spare time, was good at somethings and a few people wanted to pay me to do them.
1. My career/what I went to school to do, Medical Laboratory Science aka hospital laboratory.
2. Natural hairstylist in my girlfriend's salon
3. Staff hairstylist for The Wire Season 4
4. Church Musician
I did all of this, while being in graduate school full time.

How can being married to an awesome guy have anything negative associated with it? It's simple, while we have built things together, he gets the credit for the fruits of all of things that I have worked hard for on my own.....just because of what society perceives as prestige with certain professions. That is a major buzz kill. I buy a new car. I pay for the car but people ask him how he likes HIS new car. I'm up at the crack of dawn and till the wee hours of the morning working on our home based business while he sleeps and people refer all inquiries about our team to him. So, I am in a constant battle with my pride and ego when it comes to my role as a wife. I often find myself swallowing my pride in order to be obedient to Jehovah as a submissive wife. I know my husband has our family's best interest in mind, so I have no problems letting him lead me. He is awesome when it comes to giving me credit. I appreciate him for that. We make a great team. Everything I do, I do better with him. However, a small piece of me dies every time some one refers to me as "the doctor's wife", I'm just being honest.

I get it. The portrayal of beautiful women of color in the media is that we are gold diggers or some loud mouthed, attitudinal angry person. It is implied that we are after the successful man so that we can have his babies and spend all of his cash while he is busy building the empire....alone. That is not the case, not if you're living the Fancy life. I was building my own empire prior to him. My parents raised me to be awesome. They did not raise me to chase a man or that my ultimate goal should be to become a wife. My parents taught me that I would attract what I become. My husband and I have been able to multiply what we brought to the table as individuals, but we do that together. He is a visionary but I am the executor. What is vision without action? A dream. Point. Blank. Period. I mean, really, would Jay-Z have risen to the stature of the mogul he is today without Beyonce? They were successful on their own but when he became associated with her, a different dynamic of the business world opened up to him just from the association.  I'll leave that there.

I have NO problems with being submissive and supportive, even when I do not agree. When he says move left. I move left. He is my husband and the head of our household. But I am NOT just the "doctor's wife". I am Iyonna. A boss. I am married to that guy, whom I love very much. I would've married him if he was an engineer, politician or computer geek. He just happens to be a doctor. But this here Fancy life BEEN fancy.....way before we were an item. I contribute just as much as he does. I motivate him to be better. He keeps me focused when I'm falling off of my grind. Being a wife is not easy. It takes balance, grace and lots of fake smiles and pleasantries when you really want to scream. Cooking, cleaning.....or at least knowing who to hire when you need those things done. Handling business. Staying fly. All while making sure your husband feels desired, needed and appreciated. This Fancy wife life ain't for the faint of heart but it's worth it...even when you don't always get credit.

Until next time, continue enjoying your Fancy life even when you don't get the acknowledgement you should.

Click HERE to learn more about the opportunity that allows me to contribute just as much as my husband.

Fancy Hair

Dry Twist Out that I didn't re-twist

I wear my hair natural. That means, I don't process it with chemicals to straighten it. I just let it flourish in it's kinky element. It's so funny to me because when I think my hair looks crazy, I get the most compliments. I get approached by hair admirers proclaiming that they wish they could wear their hair natural. I also get a lot of questions about my hair. Often from women who are trying to figure their own hair out. The most common questions I get are what products I use and what do I do to it when I style it. My cousin told me that I should start a separate hair blog, but quite honestly, I don't do enough to my hair to warrant a whole blog about it. I figured I post sporadically post hair stuff among the rest of my blogging.


In true "Fancy" fashion, I have some a few rules about how I view my hair and how I treat it. Here we go:

1. I let my hair be great. Sometimes it's fluffy, sometimes it's bushy. I don't fuss over it. I don't try to make sure every strand is in place. I don't try to make my hair look like someone else's. All of our hair textures are different. I have about 4 different textures and curl patterns in my own head. It's all in your mindset.
2. Moisture is the most important player when dealing with kinky hair. Keep your hair moisturized.....not oily.
3. Experiment to find out what works for you. You have to experiment with styling and products. What's good for one person doesn't necessarily work for someone else.
4. Avoid products with the following ingredients. These ingredients dry your hair which lead to breakage. ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL, MINERAL OIL & PETROLATUM, PEG, PROPYLENE GLYCOL (PG), SODIUM LAURYL SUFATE (SLS) & SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE (SLES), CHLORINE, DEA (diethanolamine) MEA (momoethnanolamine) TEA (triethanolamine), FD & C Color PIGMENTS, FRAGRANCE, and IMIDAZOLIDINYL UREA and DMDM HYDANTOIN.

Up Do

My hair routine is very simple, I don't use a whole plethora of products and I actually don't spend that much time doing my hair. It can seem like a long time but it's less than or equal to the amount of time people spend in the salon.

Cleansing and Conditioning
I am very active. I work out 3-4 days/week and I sweat...a lot. So it's very important for me to get to my scalp and get rid of the build up. In the summer I may shampoo weekly but mostly every 2 weeks. When I've been swimming, I shampoo using a sulfate free shampoo. Make sure you read the ingredients. All things labeled sulfate free are not. When I don't swim, I do an Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) rinse. Essentially, I section my hair and, using a spray bottle, I spray the ACV on my scalp and massage my scalp with my finger tips, not my nails. Then, I spray it on the length of my hair. This will loosen up the dirt and build up without drying it out like shampoo does. I twist each section as I go because my hair is super thick, getting long and out of control. LOL! Rinse. Then I do a co-wash. A co-wash is when you use conditioner instead of shampoo like you're washing it. I do the same thing I did with the ACV. Massaging my scalp and re-twisting. Rinse and repeat. If I'm deep conditioning, I apply the conditioner to the length of my hair. Sometimes I put a conditioner cap on....sometimes I don't. Rinse. I'm ready to style.

Wet Twist Out

Styling

My go-to style is a twist out. That works for me. In the summer, I twist it wet and pin it up into a style for a couple days. Then take it out when it's completely dry. In the winter, I alternate with dry twist outs and wet twist outs. The dry twist out tends to last longer. I can get about 3 weeks of styles from a dry twist out. Just witch hazel my scalp when it gets a little itchy.

Wet Twist Out: Results in tight, long lasting curls.
I don't have to spend time detangling because I did that while I was shampooing and conditioning. That also decreases the chances that my hair will dry out while I'm twisting. I take one section at a time, spray some leave in conditioner and comb it through. Then I apply the shea butter pomade that I make in my kitchen and comb it through. Two strand twist to the ends. Dassit.

Dry Twist Out: Results in loose curls that may require re-twisting every other night or super BIG hair.

Faux Hawk

Sit under a hood dryer to let all the excess water dry. Spray with leave in conditioner. Apply a little bit of my homemade pomade to each section. Then blow dry each section on low heat until it's no longer damp. For straighter hair, I may hit it on high for a couple seconds but not too much. I don't want to have heat damage. All dry, I part into sections and get to twisting. I spray a little mist of water and apply a creamy pomade as I twist to give structure to the twist. I might even spray the ends a little so they curl and the twist will stay in.

Up Do:

I don't do them often. They require daily up keep and I'm not about that life.

Dry Twist Out

Maintenance
Keeping your ends trimmed is important. I get my ends trimmed every 3-4 months. My stylist usually just blow dries and trims that way. I only get it straightened once a year, maybe twice. Straight hair requires too much attention for me and my hectic life as a medical professional and entrepreneur. Plus, it can cause heat damage if you're not careful. For a naturalista, heat damage is indicated by the straight hair when it should be curly. My twist out gets stuffed in a bonnet at night and fluffed out in the morning. Dassit. LOL!

Hair Product Details

After trial and error I have found that these things work best for me

• Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse: 1 part ACV and 3 parts filtered water
• Sei Bella Ultra-Luxury Moisture Shampoo
• Affinia Ultra Moisturizing Conditioner for co-wash
• Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Co-Wash Conditioning Cleanser 
• Sei Bella Luxury Ultra-Luxury Creme Conditioner for deep condition
• Sei Bella Hair Repair Masque for deep condition
• Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque for deep condition
• Sei Bella Leave In Detangling & Smoothing Spray
• Homemade Shea Butter Pomade: 1 cup of raw shea butter and 1/2 cup of jojoba oil. Whip it in the mixer until it appears "whipped". Then add a 1/2 cup coconut oil. Let it mix longer. The coconut oil will make it even more "whipped". 
• I buy fragranced shea butter from the Patapsco Flea market. I divide the tub in fours and use one fourth of the tub for each batch of pomade I make.
• My hair is thick and kinky, so I need lots of moisture. Feel free to add or subtract ingredients based on what your hair needs.
• I also make the same exact recipe using a different flavor for my skin. I've replaced cocoa butter with my own concoction.

Up do

I guess I can be considered a natural hair stylist. In my former life, I used to work in a salon as a natural hairstylist. If you would like individual coaching through your process, text WOODS to 55469. We can go from there.

Until next time....let your hair flourish in it's natural state or pass this on to someone looking for guidance in what to do with their natural hair.

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Relationship Resources

Although I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, my parents taught me the importance of being resourceful. If you find a knack for creating unlimited resources, you are limitless in what you can achieve. Please do not misinterpret what I am saying. While, money is considered to be a very valuable resource, the greatest resource on earth is people. Yup. That's right. People are the best resource you can ever attain. I'm not suggesting that you use people. I'm saying that each and every person you come in contact with has the potential can add value to your life. Each and EVERY one. Why do you think they say "Your network is your net worth."? I mean....it would just be that your net worth is your net worth, right?

Now of course, anyone in their right mind would love to know the secret to generating an unlimited bucket of money but there are just certain things money cannot buy you. Let's name them, shall we.

Things Money Cannot Buy:

• Love
• Real friends
• Happiness
• Style
• Class
• Wisdom

It may seem cliche to say "money can't buy you love" but it's true. The richest people in the world search for love if they don't have it while people who give and receive love feel like they are wealthy. Having a circle that will never let them go without is priceless. There have been plenty of times when I didn't have enough saved up to buy things I needed or to pay for services that were long overdue. However, I have real friends and people that love me who step in and make it happen without them even knowing they are doing me a huge favor. For that reason, I have a few rules for myself when I interact with people. All people. You never know when someone can help you or will remember that time you talked to them harshly and decide not to help you out.

1. Always smile when you greet people- I know. I know. At least try to smile. No one is perfect.
2. When people are talking to you, be interested in what they are saying....well, at least don't let on that you are not interested if you aren't. People have feelings. It won't kill you to listen. You never know how just being a listening ear can impact someones life.
3. Always try to offer kind, uplifting, positive words. There is always a silver lining. Find it and point it out.

First impressions are soooooo important. You can be the person that they don't mind helping out with a favor or you can be the person that they want to avoid at all costs. It's your choice. 

Living the Fancy life, I make an effort to bring value to people's lives. Be it offering a hug when you see someone needs it, connecting someone to a network they wouldn't otherwise have access to or putting someone in a position to build a business and better future for their family. Don't get it twisted. I know my limits. I don't allow myself to get taken advantage of. I wrote a blog about that too. LOL! I choose to interact with people who bring value to my life. I believe in positive vibes only. I have good relationships with people from all walks of life. It feels just as good to get a few extra shrimp on your salad in the cafeteria because the chef thinks you're sweet as it does for you to get the deal of a lifetime on your dream home because you've done a few favors for your real estate agent out of the kindness of your heart. All these things can come from establishing relationships and choosing to pay it forward.

Until next time, be nice to people and add value while you enjoy your Fancy life.