Desires of the Heart

Soooooo, I used to have time to blog regularly. Then I started a business. Then I had a baby. Then I went back to work. Then business started picking up. Life became crazy but the whole time, I was working on myself. Not just growing my business but growing as a person. Improving how I manage my time. Improving my relationships. Loving myself more. Not being so hard on myself. Reading more. Meditating. Eating better. I also began to grow out of things. Outgrow relationships. Outgrow activities. You get the point.

Fast forward to today. I have finally fully retired from healthcare to pursue my passion. And, also, allowing what has been chasing me my entire life to catch up to me. You see, I grew up in a salon. I feel like every woman in my family has a cosmetology license, including my mother. I even worked in a salon while in grad school and apprenticed under my mother but never took the exam. What some may see is a woman who started small, business picked up, opportunities are presenting, so I decided to go for it. What people don't know is that this was written. Business is picking up, so I need more space to manufacture. What will that space look like? Eventually, it will be a beauty salon. That's the 2 year plan. All that running from cosmetology has come full circle. LOL!

In college, even though my career path was not clear, I knew I did not want to work beyond the age of 35. At the time, I thought I would work a little bit and then my husband would take care of me. LOL! I mean, my mother is a stay at home mom, why can't I be one too? No one knew this. I never shared it with my husband. Why? Well, life happens. Reality hits you. I assumed that we could not sustain our lifestyle on one salary, so my intention was to stay in healthcare until I was retirement age. While I had reached my career goals by the age of 30, I thought I'd develop new ones for healthcare related advancement in my career. Nope. That's not what happened. Once I mastered my job function, I was looking for a new challenge. This was right around the time when I began my journey in multilevel marketing.

Say what you want about multilevel marketing, but for me, it was an eye opener. I was open minded
and I realized how powerful I really am. I learned about myself. I realized that sitting in a windowless office, tucked away in the corner of a blood bank was not what Jehovah intended for me. I thought that multilevel marketing would be my ticket to a Fancy Free life but it didn't work out that way. Turned out that Fancy Free was my ticket. It had been right under my nose for about 2 years. I started selling the hair product. More and more women were scheduling natural hair consults. Fancy Free business was picking up. 500% growth in my second year of business. Those numbers happened during a year where I was working on a HUGE project at work, pregnant, oh yeah, and had a baby. This all got me thinking. If I grew this much with wishy washy, inconsistent marketing, imagine what I could do if I focused all of my energy on Fancy Free. Endless possibilities. No limits.

So there it was, staring me in my face, my destiny. But how was I going to transition? Our household

budget included my, now half time, salary. Simple. Get out of debt. If we paid off all of our credit cards, we could afford to live off of my husband's salary. Simple. Not easy though. LOL! So we got to work. Scaled back on splurging. We were chopping that debt down, big time. The whole time, my work environment was becoming more miserable. Once my focus shifted from being a Specialist in Blood Bank to growing as a CEO, I no longer wanted to spend time blood banking. I wanted to be building Fancy Free. So EVERYTHING irritated me. It was time to go.

Once we set a date, that's when the magic began. You see, when you begin to walk in your purpose,
the flood gates open and everything works toward helping you receive the desires of your heart. Things lined up in a way that I couldn't have even imagined for myself. I never told my husband I wanted to retire by 35. I kept it close to my heart. Between Jehovah and I. But I was open and flexible. The silence while meditating let Him speak to me. I just listened. Now, here I am at 36 years old and retired. Only one year behind schedule. I mean, the Jews wandered in the wilderness for 40 years, so 1 year isn't so bad.

No, all of our debt isn't completely paid off but we're on our way. No, I don't have a building yet. But the reality is, all of your ducks are never going to line up the way you want them to before you take the "jump". Jehovah wants you to rely on Him and not your own understanding. When we humble ourselves, accept that there a lot of things that we just don't know, and actively seek guidance, things happen, BIG things happen.

What are the desires of your heart? Go after them with all you've got. There is nothing you can't do once you've made up your mind.

Shameless plug alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sine up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.

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Black Women And Their Hair

I love being a sistah! Like, I love being a black woman in America. We have our struggles but we are so free to be who we want to be here when you compare our lifestyle to some other cultures. I was blessed to be raised by powerful, motivated, black, female entrepreneurs. My mother named me Iyonna Hazel, after my Aunt Hazel, who treated me more like a grandchild than a great niece. My namesake, Aunt Hazel, was a black woman in the 60's who owned a salon. She owned the building and the business. The beauty industry generates billions of dollars in the United States and it was one of the first industries that allowed black women to partake in making millions. Madame C. J. Walker was the FIRST African-American woman millionaire turned philanthropist, self made in the beauty business selling hair products. I digress....

All of my family who lived in Baltimore worked in Aunt Hazel's salon. I think the name of it was Cosmos, but

Mama Fancy in her college days.
1970 something

we all called it "The Shop". Aunt Hazel's daughter worked at The Shop. My mother apprenticed at The Shop. She paid her way through college by working there as a stylist. My older cousins worked at The Shop, cleaning up, doing laundry, and running errands. Even I worked at The Shop, giving little $5 manicures at the tender age of 8 years old in the summers and on the weekends I spent with my beloved Aunt Hazel. So, I know the inner working of a salon. I grew up in one.

Aunt Hazel has since passed. But not before paying cash to build her retirement home from money made in The Shop and selling her business. I never really understood the advantages I had by growing around these things. I learned hustle and entrepreneurship. I got to listen in on mature conversations that taught me life lessons at an early age. My hair was always done. My hair was always healthy. My hair was always kind of long because of these things. It didn't hit me until I stopped relaxing my hair that black women have a "thing" with their hair.

When I was in graduate school, I worked part time in a salon doing natural hair, mostly braiding and loc maintenance. I was the only one. All the others specialized in "regular" hair styling. We had one stylist who was highly sought after for his weave and styling expertise. He was REALLY good and was usually booked. I was appalled when I would hear the receptionist getting cussed out because he did not have any appointments available. It was so crazy to me. I'd think "Is it that serious?" Apparently, it is. I just could never relate. I honestly felt like we have a serious problem in this society if people are enraged when they can't get a hair appointment or a pair of sneakers for that matter.

Styles Salons
One and only weave for my wedding by the
hair weave killah, Dariel

I got a relaxer when I was 11 because all my friends had relaxers and my mom was straightening my hair anyway, so what was the big deal? This made it easier, right? My mom has Indian in her family, literally. She was Pocahontas in her college years. Perfect brown skin and long flow-y hair down her back, no relaxer. Aunt Hazel churned out perfect bouffants and press & curls for years. That's just what black women did. We straightened and styled our hair. It seemed that a large majority of black women wanted long, flow-y hair and would stop at nothing to get it. Enduring chemical burns on the scalp, burned ears from curling iron or hot comb, hours under the dryer, pulling and tugging so much that the hairline recedes from the tension, and let's not forget the MONEY and TIME spent in the salon. Or basement. Or kitchen. All to achieve something that Jehovah never really intended for us.

If I were meant to have a brown complexion, I'd have a brown complexion. Other than tanning in the summer, I don't invest time and effort into making my skin looking like something it's not. If I were meant to be 6 feet tall, I'd be 6 feet tall. Other than wearing heels, which I do for style and not to look taller, I don't invest time and money in to trying to make myself taller. If my hair was meant to be long and flow-y, it would grow long and flow-y from my scalp. Why did I spend so much time trying to make my hair do something it was never intended to do?

As a "natural", I straighten my hair once a year in the winter. Just because. The rest of the year, I style my hair in it's natural texture. I know what styles work for me and my hair. Even with natural hair, I don't look to make my hair look like someone else's natural hair. I don't do much to my hair, I never did. Even when I had a relaxer, I did a wash and roller set once a week, if that roller set turned out kinda janky, oh well, I would have janky hair for the week. Same with my hair now, I style it bi-weekly and I just make adjustments to the hairstyle as the weeks go on. It's so funny to me that when I think my hair looks crazy, I still get compliments.

When I was 21, I told my mother I was going to stop getting a relaxer. She asked me why. I was a dumb 21 year old, I didn't have a legitimate answer other than I wanted big hair. LOL! So I continued to get relaxers

Wash and go "faux hawk"
After a year of transitioning

for 7 more years. Then I had a talk with my husband and we both decided it was time. Wearing my hair in it's natural texture is a personal choice. Even if you choose to wear your hair straight, with modern technology and advances in products, you don't have to straighten your hair with chemicals. We are all in a place of health consciousness. We are eating healthy, clean and organic. Why put chemicals on your body if you're making a conscious effort not to put them in your body? Just something to think about.

I hurt for black women who look at my hair with admiration and say "I wish I could wear my hair like that?" or "I wish I could go natural?" Who told them that they can't? The reasons I hear make me sad. They don't think they can wear their hair like that to work. Their hair is too nappy. They don't have time to style it. If your job has an issue with you wearing your hair the way it grows out of your head, you probably need to consider a new job. And if they fire you or limit your opportunities because of a choice of hairstyle, they know they will have some class action discrimination cases coming their way. What is nappy hair anyway? My hair seems nappy sometimes too. Usually when it's dry. Look at the products you're putting in your hair, there's probably some form of alcohol in it. Alcohol dries your hair out, making you think it's nappy and unmanageable when it's not. For those who really want to go without relaxers, take a good look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. What are you REALLY afraid of? And just how much time do you spend in the salon again? Oh.

Dry Twist Out after 3 years of being "natural"

All I'm saying is, you are beautiful just the way you are. Your hair is beautiful. Long and flow-y. Short and sleek. Loose curls. Tight curls aka *whispers* kinky. It's all beautiful because it's yours. Own it. Jehovah made you that way. Beautiful and in his image. Do what makes you feel beautiful but do it for you. Going through all those changes to alter your hair doesn't make you anymore beautiful than you already are.

Long, short, curly, kinky, or straight.....live your Fancy Life, embracing who you were meant to be.

Shameless Plug Alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest Fancy Free happenings.

Subscribe to our mailing list