We've all experienced it, a woman in your life who gives unsolicited advice. Be it from a mother, aunt, older co-worker, church lady, it comes from a good place but it's still unsolicited. As a younger woman, I would be the giver of unsolicited advice but sometimes it didn't go over so well because I had yet to master the art of candor. Although, my advice was from a good place, it wasn't always received positively. In turn, for some years, I just kept my mouth shut when my opinion was not asked of me.
However, as I've live more and make decisions, I often find myself in a position where my advice or input is sought after. I guess people are watching me and are encouraged by the direction I'm headed in. I was once told that my spiritual gift was the ability to influence others. I was young then but now I understand it and try my best to put my gift to good use. As I mature, I have become that woman who gives unsolicited advice. I haven't gotten any negative feedback, so far. I hope it's because I am mastering the art of candor. LOL! I realized that the givers of unsolicited advice really care about you.
Sometimes an outsider can see something in you that you can't see in yourself. I have benefited from unsolicited advice. I just knew I was built to be a boss but the education coordinator of my last program saw the "teacher" in me. I would have NEVER went into teaching had she not mentioned it. While I don't claim to be the best professor ever, my students flourish on their rotations after being under my instruction. To here good reports about my students is way more fulfilling than any policy or procedure I can put into place as a boss. Having a close friend tell me that it would be ok not to marry a long time boyfriend jogged my brain and got me thinking. Although I never said anything to her about my relationship status, she could see that I was unhappy. I, in turn, eventually broke up with that guy and ended up marrying my soulmate. That one little sentence worth of unsolicited advice got me on the path to happiness.
My mother used to tell me that people who don't care will talk about you, while people who do care will talk to you. If your heart is telling you to talk to someone about something, talk to them. If someone randomly says something to you about yourself, don't take offense, just listen. It could change your life. Afterall, we all live here together. We HAVE to look out for each other.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
No Mo' Creamy Crack
Women of African decent decide to go "natural" for various different reasons. I can't speak for anyone but The Fancy One herself. Yes, I refer to myself as The Fancy One. Anyway, my mother grew up very conservative, conforming to society while upholding morals taught to her by her family's matriarch.
"Don't cut your hair, men like long hair."
"Have your own before you get married."
"Never spend your last."
"No shacking up, it looks bad."
I could go on. I would not be surprised if my mother was a virgin when she got married at 26. But this advice is sound and most still hold true today.
Anyway, when I mentioned going natural back in 2000/2001 to my mother who came from a long line of cosmetologists, her response was "For what?". And, at 20 years old, I didn't have any legitimate reason other than "I like big hair." So I continued to submit my self to the application of harsh chemicals to my kinky locs for another 10 years. Under my mother's care, my hair grew to be very long and healthy. People always complimented and commented on it. Mainly because black girls didn't have long hair unless it was "good hair", which I did not.
As I matured and began to embrace myself for who I am, I felt like I was ALWAYS fussing with my hair. Pulling it back, fixing the part, combing it, spraying it, etc. I just wanted to "be". As I became more health and spiritually cautious, eating organic, establishing a regular exercise routine, applying principals I've learned in Bible study, I began to question why I was applying chemicals to my hair when I was avoiding putting chemicals in my body. Then I pondered, if God intended for my hair to be long and flowing tendrils, it would grow out of my scalp that way, right?
So, after a discussion with my husband, who has always been that "Lightskinned, long hair" man, I realized that he didn't care if my hair was straight or nappy, as long it was long. He had even noticed that people with locs have longer hair than those with with relaxers. We decided, together, that I would stop with the relaxers. I don't think he realized what a long, expensive journey this would become. I would have to visit the salon weekly, as I used to style my own hair. I would be experimenting the "natural" hair products, which are more expensive than what I had been using with my relaxed hair. The part he questioned the most, cutting the relaxer out as the natural hair grows in.
A year later, my hair is about 6 inches shorter than it was when I started as I've become more agressive with the "trimming" as my natural hair gets longer. BUT I LOVE my nappy, sometimes dry, Frederick Douglass looking bush. I get compliments on it all the time. No more fussing with my hair. I wake, shake, and put a flower in it. I straighten it about every 2 months for a trim. I like it when it's straight but after about 3 days, I yearn for my bush.
What I find interesting is people's response to my bush. People who thought they knew me seem surprised that I now wear a bush. Some are even intimidated. I guess it does take a lot of guts to walk into a corporate office rocking a business suit, pumps, and a bush with a flower in it. From less mature and, I hate to say it but, less educated women, I get the "Your hair is so pretty when it's straight" or "You should wear your hair straight more often". I hate that society has told them that straight hair is prettier than the cottony bush that God intended them to have. Obviously, they don't know that I have always been a free spirit and never really cared about conforming to society's standards. I feel like my bush empowers myself and others. Now most of the black women in my office are growing their relaxers out. I'm so proud of them. I say "Eff yo' straight hair!"
I have many flaws that I could have been insecure about and, I admit, I used to try to hide. As I grew into the woman I am today, I learned to embrace those flaws and when people ask me "What happened to your hands?" or say "You're so skinny." My response, as of late, has been "That's the way God made me."
The moral: Embrace who God intended you to be....nappy hair and all.
"Don't cut your hair, men like long hair."
"Have your own before you get married."
"Never spend your last."
"No shacking up, it looks bad."
I could go on. I would not be surprised if my mother was a virgin when she got married at 26. But this advice is sound and most still hold true today.
Anyway, when I mentioned going natural back in 2000/2001 to my mother who came from a long line of cosmetologists, her response was "For what?". And, at 20 years old, I didn't have any legitimate reason other than "I like big hair." So I continued to submit my self to the application of harsh chemicals to my kinky locs for another 10 years. Under my mother's care, my hair grew to be very long and healthy. People always complimented and commented on it. Mainly because black girls didn't have long hair unless it was "good hair", which I did not.
As I matured and began to embrace myself for who I am, I felt like I was ALWAYS fussing with my hair. Pulling it back, fixing the part, combing it, spraying it, etc. I just wanted to "be". As I became more health and spiritually cautious, eating organic, establishing a regular exercise routine, applying principals I've learned in Bible study, I began to question why I was applying chemicals to my hair when I was avoiding putting chemicals in my body. Then I pondered, if God intended for my hair to be long and flowing tendrils, it would grow out of my scalp that way, right?
So, after a discussion with my husband, who has always been that "Lightskinned, long hair" man, I realized that he didn't care if my hair was straight or nappy, as long it was long. He had even noticed that people with locs have longer hair than those with with relaxers. We decided, together, that I would stop with the relaxers. I don't think he realized what a long, expensive journey this would become. I would have to visit the salon weekly, as I used to style my own hair. I would be experimenting the "natural" hair products, which are more expensive than what I had been using with my relaxed hair. The part he questioned the most, cutting the relaxer out as the natural hair grows in.
A year later, my hair is about 6 inches shorter than it was when I started as I've become more agressive with the "trimming" as my natural hair gets longer. BUT I LOVE my nappy, sometimes dry, Frederick Douglass looking bush. I get compliments on it all the time. No more fussing with my hair. I wake, shake, and put a flower in it. I straighten it about every 2 months for a trim. I like it when it's straight but after about 3 days, I yearn for my bush.
What I find interesting is people's response to my bush. People who thought they knew me seem surprised that I now wear a bush. Some are even intimidated. I guess it does take a lot of guts to walk into a corporate office rocking a business suit, pumps, and a bush with a flower in it. From less mature and, I hate to say it but, less educated women, I get the "Your hair is so pretty when it's straight" or "You should wear your hair straight more often". I hate that society has told them that straight hair is prettier than the cottony bush that God intended them to have. Obviously, they don't know that I have always been a free spirit and never really cared about conforming to society's standards. I feel like my bush empowers myself and others. Now most of the black women in my office are growing their relaxers out. I'm so proud of them. I say "Eff yo' straight hair!"
I have many flaws that I could have been insecure about and, I admit, I used to try to hide. As I grew into the woman I am today, I learned to embrace those flaws and when people ask me "What happened to your hands?" or say "You're so skinny." My response, as of late, has been "That's the way God made me."
The moral: Embrace who God intended you to be....nappy hair and all.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
....A Year Later
So after a much needed 6 week break from work and all things responsible, I hit the ground running. I passed my exam, so now I am a certified Specialist in Blood Banking, I started teaching Blood Banking to unappreciative, know-it-all adults and traditional college students, and I got a full-time gig. It definitely wasn't my dream job or ideal schedule but the pay was within what I expected after acquiring so many degrees and certifications in my short 29 years of life.
Notice I describe the full-time gig in past tense. Yup! You guessed it, I didn't last long there. After a few run-ins with my insecure, intimidated by younger, smarter, more ambitious employees supervisor, I got the hell outta there in less than a year. I THINK I was there for like 8 months. After a severe confrontation, that resulted in a round table with the company's "Problem Management" department, I didn't do any work for the rest of that day. What did I do? I went job hunting online, found a gig, filled out the application, and got a call the next day to schedule the interview. I went into the interview with no experience, just my dazzling personality and impressive resume. We finished up at 10:30am, they were offering me the job at 2pm, $2k less than my desired salary but I was ready to get away from that hell hole and crazy supervisor. So NOW, I have my dream job with an ideal schedule. Patience is a virtue. I only had to wait 8 months.
Then my doctor husband decided he needed a break. *sigh* It's a never ending cycle. I couldn't get mad though. Residency really wore him out. I don't think I would've been able to work 80-100 hours/week for 3 years straight and still function. So, he took a hiatus while he studied for his $6000 worth of exams he had to take post-residency.
My husband's break from work brought us closer than we EVER were. I mean, we've been together since 2003, but with school and all the other crap we were doing, we were only boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife on the weekends. It was great to have him gain a new appreciation for household chores, running errands, and family time.
And just like that, all good things must come to an end. Plus, we were getting REALLY broke since we had to buy this big, ole, dumb house in the interim of breaks from work. Needless, to say Dr. McLovin started working after a 6 MONTH break. I must really love him, but he deserved it.
Now, we are blessed to both have our dream job and on the path to starting a family. Well, no family just yet. First...we 'bout to ball outta control this year! Yeah, I said. We gonna be irresponsible, buy stuff we don't need, go everywhere, eat out every night. You know, do all the stuff we couldn't do a year ago, all while hollering "Hood rich!" LOL!
I will be chronicling the "Adventures of Fancy and Jizzle" right here. Stay tuned...
Notice I describe the full-time gig in past tense. Yup! You guessed it, I didn't last long there. After a few run-ins with my insecure, intimidated by younger, smarter, more ambitious employees supervisor, I got the hell outta there in less than a year. I THINK I was there for like 8 months. After a severe confrontation, that resulted in a round table with the company's "Problem Management" department, I didn't do any work for the rest of that day. What did I do? I went job hunting online, found a gig, filled out the application, and got a call the next day to schedule the interview. I went into the interview with no experience, just my dazzling personality and impressive resume. We finished up at 10:30am, they were offering me the job at 2pm, $2k less than my desired salary but I was ready to get away from that hell hole and crazy supervisor. So NOW, I have my dream job with an ideal schedule. Patience is a virtue. I only had to wait 8 months.
Then my doctor husband decided he needed a break. *sigh* It's a never ending cycle. I couldn't get mad though. Residency really wore him out. I don't think I would've been able to work 80-100 hours/week for 3 years straight and still function. So, he took a hiatus while he studied for his $6000 worth of exams he had to take post-residency.
My husband's break from work brought us closer than we EVER were. I mean, we've been together since 2003, but with school and all the other crap we were doing, we were only boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife on the weekends. It was great to have him gain a new appreciation for household chores, running errands, and family time.
And just like that, all good things must come to an end. Plus, we were getting REALLY broke since we had to buy this big, ole, dumb house in the interim of breaks from work. Needless, to say Dr. McLovin started working after a 6 MONTH break. I must really love him, but he deserved it.
Now, we are blessed to both have our dream job and on the path to starting a family. Well, no family just yet. First...we 'bout to ball outta control this year! Yeah, I said. We gonna be irresponsible, buy stuff we don't need, go everywhere, eat out every night. You know, do all the stuff we couldn't do a year ago, all while hollering "Hood rich!" LOL!
I will be chronicling the "Adventures of Fancy and Jizzle" right here. Stay tuned...
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Taking A Break
As I near the end of one chapter of my life, I think about what my next move will be. Considering, my current job/schooling, which is one in the same, will be completed on July 8, 2009. Which basically means, I have to find a new job.
I decided to apply for this program because I wanted to have all of the tools I need to advance my career. Keeping that in mind, I took a $30,000 pay cut in order to embark on this endeavor. That in itself has been a struggle, as well as adjusting to a 1.5 hour/one way commute, getting my husband to share in household duties, study, learn the ropes in a new environment, etc., etc. Needless to say, the past 10 months have been trying but everyone says, "It's worth it. You'll have your SBB in the end." I smile, but in the back of my head I think, "What is the point of being a specialist if you can't find a freakin' job that utilizes your skills?!?!?"
Sadly, the deteriorating economy has had this devastating ripple affect that impacts ALL areas, including the job security we thought we had with health care. Why is that? Well, as people lose their jobs, they also lose their health insurance, which means they are less likely to come to the hospital because they cannot afford to pay out of pocket for treatment. So, hospitals lose money, they lay employees off, have hiring freezes, and do not fill vacant positions because it's cheaper for them to pay over time to current employees as opposed to hire someone to fill in.
How is that affecting me as a blood bank specialist with a Master's degree? Tremendously! I am over qualified for the positions that are available, meaning I would have to settle for a position that would not compensate me for my wealth of knowledge and value to any work environment. On top of that, I may have to work an off shift, like night shift or evening shift, which I vowed on May 1, 2008 that I would NEVER do again. I've worked too hard and have too much to offer to have to settle. Is it too much to ask for a day shift position with no holiday or weekend obligation at any local health care organization? Probably. LOL!
So, I've decided I will take a break. What? I deserve it. I've worked hard and I've been paying into unemployment since the tender age of 16. I think it's only fair to collect some of what is mine anyway. I know, unemployment will only last me for but so long. So, I plan to collect unemployment for about 2 months, after which I will apply for positions at my neighborhood fast food restaurants. This will allow me to continue my "break", while still having some income that does not require me to be responsible and accountable. I think it will be fun to work with the local teenagers and underachievers for a while. I hope to learn from them or at least acquire some motivation to "settle" for those positions that I currently look down on.
As a borderline OCD Virgo, I always have to have a plan. I need to know what my next move is. I have faith that God has a plan for me, but since it has not been revealed to me as of yet, this is my plan. LOL!
Disclaimer: This is a joke...kind of.
I decided to apply for this program because I wanted to have all of the tools I need to advance my career. Keeping that in mind, I took a $30,000 pay cut in order to embark on this endeavor. That in itself has been a struggle, as well as adjusting to a 1.5 hour/one way commute, getting my husband to share in household duties, study, learn the ropes in a new environment, etc., etc. Needless to say, the past 10 months have been trying but everyone says, "It's worth it. You'll have your SBB in the end." I smile, but in the back of my head I think, "What is the point of being a specialist if you can't find a freakin' job that utilizes your skills?!?!?"
Sadly, the deteriorating economy has had this devastating ripple affect that impacts ALL areas, including the job security we thought we had with health care. Why is that? Well, as people lose their jobs, they also lose their health insurance, which means they are less likely to come to the hospital because they cannot afford to pay out of pocket for treatment. So, hospitals lose money, they lay employees off, have hiring freezes, and do not fill vacant positions because it's cheaper for them to pay over time to current employees as opposed to hire someone to fill in.
How is that affecting me as a blood bank specialist with a Master's degree? Tremendously! I am over qualified for the positions that are available, meaning I would have to settle for a position that would not compensate me for my wealth of knowledge and value to any work environment. On top of that, I may have to work an off shift, like night shift or evening shift, which I vowed on May 1, 2008 that I would NEVER do again. I've worked too hard and have too much to offer to have to settle. Is it too much to ask for a day shift position with no holiday or weekend obligation at any local health care organization? Probably. LOL!
So, I've decided I will take a break. What? I deserve it. I've worked hard and I've been paying into unemployment since the tender age of 16. I think it's only fair to collect some of what is mine anyway. I know, unemployment will only last me for but so long. So, I plan to collect unemployment for about 2 months, after which I will apply for positions at my neighborhood fast food restaurants. This will allow me to continue my "break", while still having some income that does not require me to be responsible and accountable. I think it will be fun to work with the local teenagers and underachievers for a while. I hope to learn from them or at least acquire some motivation to "settle" for those positions that I currently look down on.
As a borderline OCD Virgo, I always have to have a plan. I need to know what my next move is. I have faith that God has a plan for me, but since it has not been revealed to me as of yet, this is my plan. LOL!
Disclaimer: This is a joke...kind of.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Things No One Tells You About Being Married
So, you've found THAT guy. He rocks your world, treats you like a queen, and exemplifies everything you THINK you want in a man and a husband. He sets up the most romantic proposal you've ever heard of. Your wedding was a fairytale. You were a good girl, so upon returning from your Caribbean honeymoon you FINALLY move in together. Then, it hits the wall. What do I mean "hit the wall"? The honeymoon comes to a screeching halt because of things you had no idea would bother you. Let me point them out:
1. The accumulation of pubic hairs in the bathroom will not bother him, while it totally grosses you out.
2. He won't understand why you have to make the bed when you're just gonna get back in it.
3. No matter what they say, he expects you to cook and clean even though you have to go to work too.
4. No matter how long he's lived on his own, he does NOT keep house the way you do.
5. He doesn't understand why things should be put away because it's easier to find it when it's in the floor.
6. You will argue about money. How you spend it, how he spends it, a budget if you're low on it, what to do with the extra....on and on and on.
7. You will argue about sex. What turns you on and off. He'll, almost inevitably, say that you aren't having it enough and complain about your scarf and night clothes.
8. Related to #6, figuring how WHO will manage the bills and how to manage the bills will be a nuisance.
9. His video game playing habits, while once cute, will really annoy you. Especially, when you are trying to get his attention or want to have a serious talk.
10. What's important to you is not necessarily a priority to him.
This list could go on and on, depending on you and your spouse. No relationship is perfect but it can be perfect for you if you learn how to deal with your spouse's quirks. It will take time. You WILL argue but be patient and make sure you are communicating with each other. Your marriage is what you make it. Enjoy!
1. The accumulation of pubic hairs in the bathroom will not bother him, while it totally grosses you out.
2. He won't understand why you have to make the bed when you're just gonna get back in it.
3. No matter what they say, he expects you to cook and clean even though you have to go to work too.
4. No matter how long he's lived on his own, he does NOT keep house the way you do.
5. He doesn't understand why things should be put away because it's easier to find it when it's in the floor.
6. You will argue about money. How you spend it, how he spends it, a budget if you're low on it, what to do with the extra....on and on and on.
7. You will argue about sex. What turns you on and off. He'll, almost inevitably, say that you aren't having it enough and complain about your scarf and night clothes.
8. Related to #6, figuring how WHO will manage the bills and how to manage the bills will be a nuisance.
9. His video game playing habits, while once cute, will really annoy you. Especially, when you are trying to get his attention or want to have a serious talk.
10. What's important to you is not necessarily a priority to him.
This list could go on and on, depending on you and your spouse. No relationship is perfect but it can be perfect for you if you learn how to deal with your spouse's quirks. It will take time. You WILL argue but be patient and make sure you are communicating with each other. Your marriage is what you make it. Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Random Things About Me
There has been a "chain-letter" of sorts going around on Facebook. I thought it was fun, so I decided to post a list of random things on my blog. I won't number them since I have a lot. Tee hee.
- My favorite color is green, not just because it's my maiden name but because I really like it.
- I hate bras. I prefer to wear a camisole with support.
- I just recently learned how to help people see me for the nice, fun person that I really am. People used to think I was mean.
- I cheated on every boyfriend I ever had, until I started dating my husband.
- I like nice things, but I'm cheap. My husband bought me most of my big ticket items. If I bought it, it was only after hearing his infamous "You're gonna be killin' 'em with this hotness" speech.
- My husband is my personal stylist. I don't feel comfortable going out without his approval of my ensemble...if he didn't pick it out.
- I can cook, although most people assume because I'm pretty and spoiled, I can't.
- I don't like ketchup.
- I used to think I was Aaliyah, now I think I'm Beyonce'.
- I want children but I'm scared to get pregnant and have to push them out.
- I like working out but I hate sweating.
- I'm insecure about my hands and feet so I visit my local spa weekly for a mani/pedi.
- It makes me nervous that I am becoming more like my mother as I get older.
- I sometimes wish that I was a musician.....yes, even if it is a starving one.
- I'm very independent but I like to feel safe and taken care of.
- It hurts my feelings that my half-sister doesn't really like me because of things her mother told her.
- Sometimes I cry, in private, because I can't believe how blessed I am. Even after all of the crappy stuff I've done.
- I have a big secret that I've kept from my husband. I'm not sure how, when, or even if I'm going to tell him.
- I think highly of myself but I am sometimes shocked to hear that other people think highly of me too.
- My husband drives me nuts!!! But, I miss him when he's not around.
- I talk too much when I've been drinking.
- I get REALLY hot when I sleep, but I can't sleep unless I have covers on me.
- I color coordinate my towels and rotate them in the linen closet after they've been washed as to prevent preferential usage leading to unequal fading among the set. I know, that's my one OCD behavior.
- My pastor told me that I have the gift of influence, but I don't know how to use it.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Ms. Independent, so they say...
Being an "Independent Woman" has become all the new rage now. Everybody is rapping, singing, and talking about how they want a woman who has her own and can do for herself. But do they really? I don't think so. I think they want a woman who has their back if things get tight but REALLY, they want a woman to "play her position" when it's convenient. You know smile and be a trophy in public, while handling all the behind the scenes work without getting any credit. I think they call that "ghost production." LOL!
I pose this question because as an "Independent Woman"-in quotations because I am now married-my life experiences have led me to believe otherwise. Why do I say this? As the judgemental beings we are, most of the time when we see a beautiful woman who is dressed nice, carries herself well, drives a nice car, and appears to have a little bit of stability-money in the bank-they automatically assume that a man is doing it for her, or at least contributing. It's a complete "ghost production" if she's wearing an engagement ring and/or wedding band.
Before I was married, I purchased my own home without any help from a man, I purchased my own car without any help from a man, and I supported my own spa and shopping habits, once again, without any help from a man. But to my surprise, men that I dated would enter my home, and the first question they'd ask was, "You live here by yourself?" I'd simply smile but be thinking "WTF?!?!?". They thought that offering me money for bills or shopping was all I required, instead of time and attention.
Don't get me wrong, my father, a man, was there to help during my journey to independence but he was a man who taught me to fish, not just providing me with fish and a loaf of bread. He taught me to work hard at working smart and then I don't have to work hard, just smart.
Now that I'm married to a good man, who happens to be a doctor, I consider myself to be a WHB-Woman Handling Business-but, people automatically assume that I'm being taken care of. Was I not fly BEFORE I got married? HELLO, what do you think attracted him? Why do you think his mother loves me? Because she knows I'm not after her son's money since I have my own. Did I not have this fur coat BEFORE I even started dating him? Let me get this straight, MY car gets smashed and HE gets a new one, giving me his old car? Does that make any sense? Please, don't get it twisted, we are comfortable now because I worked hard at providing stability for myself BEFORE we got married and while he was in medical school. Yes, two incomes does help. But, if it had not been for MY hard work and, let's not forget, money, our standard of living would not be where it is today. My husband is very humble and does not take any credit for things that he is not responsible. It just bothers me that he has to make the disclaimer, "Naw, she did that." No ghost production with him. :-)
I pose this question because as an "Independent Woman"-in quotations because I am now married-my life experiences have led me to believe otherwise. Why do I say this? As the judgemental beings we are, most of the time when we see a beautiful woman who is dressed nice, carries herself well, drives a nice car, and appears to have a little bit of stability-money in the bank-they automatically assume that a man is doing it for her, or at least contributing. It's a complete "ghost production" if she's wearing an engagement ring and/or wedding band.
Before I was married, I purchased my own home without any help from a man, I purchased my own car without any help from a man, and I supported my own spa and shopping habits, once again, without any help from a man. But to my surprise, men that I dated would enter my home, and the first question they'd ask was, "You live here by yourself?" I'd simply smile but be thinking "WTF?!?!?". They thought that offering me money for bills or shopping was all I required, instead of time and attention.
Don't get me wrong, my father, a man, was there to help during my journey to independence but he was a man who taught me to fish, not just providing me with fish and a loaf of bread. He taught me to work hard at working smart and then I don't have to work hard, just smart.
Now that I'm married to a good man, who happens to be a doctor, I consider myself to be a WHB-Woman Handling Business-but, people automatically assume that I'm being taken care of. Was I not fly BEFORE I got married? HELLO, what do you think attracted him? Why do you think his mother loves me? Because she knows I'm not after her son's money since I have my own. Did I not have this fur coat BEFORE I even started dating him? Let me get this straight, MY car gets smashed and HE gets a new one, giving me his old car? Does that make any sense? Please, don't get it twisted, we are comfortable now because I worked hard at providing stability for myself BEFORE we got married and while he was in medical school. Yes, two incomes does help. But, if it had not been for MY hard work and, let's not forget, money, our standard of living would not be where it is today. My husband is very humble and does not take any credit for things that he is not responsible. It just bothers me that he has to make the disclaimer, "Naw, she did that." No ghost production with him. :-)
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