Random Things About Me

There has been a "chain-letter" of sorts going around on Facebook. I thought it was fun, so I decided to post a list of random things on my blog. I won't number them since I have a lot. Tee hee.

• My favorite color is green, not just because it's my maiden name but because I really like it.
• I hate bras. I prefer to wear a camisole with support.
• I just recently learned how to help people see me for the nice, fun person that I really am. People used to think I was mean.
• I cheated on every boyfriend I ever had, until I started dating my husband.
• I like nice things, but I'm cheap. My husband bought me most of my big ticket items. If I bought it, it was only after hearing his infamous "You're gonna be killin' 'em with this hotness" speech.
• My husband is my personal stylist. I don't feel comfortable going out without his approval of my ensemble...if he didn't pick it out.
• I can cook, although most people assume because I'm pretty and spoiled, I can't.
• I don't like ketchup.
• I used to think I was Aaliyah, now I think I'm Beyonce'.
• I want children but I'm scared to get pregnant and have to push them out.
• I like working out but I hate sweating.
• I'm insecure about my hands and feet so I visit my local spa weekly for a mani/pedi.
• It makes me nervous that I am becoming more like my mother as I get older.
• I sometimes wish that I was a musician.....yes, even if it is a starving one.
• I'm very independent but I like to feel safe and taken care of.
• It hurts my feelings that my half-sister doesn't really like me because of things her mother told her.
• Sometimes I cry, in private, because I can't believe how blessed I am. Even after all of the crappy stuff I've done.
• I have a big secret that I've kept from my husband. I'm not sure how, when, or even if I'm going to tell him.
• I think highly of myself but I am sometimes shocked to hear that other people think highly of me too.
• My husband drives me nuts!!! But, I miss him when he's not around.
• I talk too much when I've been drinking.
• I get REALLY hot when I sleep, but I can't sleep unless I have covers on me.
• I color coordinate my towels and rotate them in the linen closet after they've been washed as to prevent preferential usage leading to unequal fading among the set. I know, that's my one OCD behavior.
• My pastor told me that I have the gift of influence, but I don't know how to use it.

Ms. Independent, so they say...

Being an "Independent Woman" has become all the new rage now. Everybody is rapping, singing, and talking about how they want a woman who has her own and can do for herself. But do they really? I don't think so. I think they want a woman who has their back if things get tight but REALLY, they want a woman to "play her position" when it's convenient. You know smile and be a trophy in public, while handling all the behind the scenes work without getting any credit. I think they call that "ghost production." LOL!
I pose this question because as an "Independent Woman"-in quotations because I am now married-my life experiences have led me to believe otherwise. Why do I say this? As the judgemental beings we are, most of the time when we see a beautiful woman who is dressed nice, carries herself well, drives a nice car, and appears to have a little bit of stability-money in the bank-they automatically assume that a man is doing it for her, or at least contributing. It's a complete "ghost production" if she's wearing an engagement ring and/or wedding band.
Before I was married, I purchased my own home without any help from a man, I purchased my own car without any help from a man, and I supported my own spa and shopping habits, once again, without any help from a man. But to my surprise, men that I dated would enter my home, and the first question they'd ask was, "You live here by yourself?" I'd simply smile but be thinking "WTF?!?!?". They thought that offering me money for bills or shopping was all I required, instead of time and attention.
Don't get me wrong, my father, a man, was there to help during my journey to independence but he was a man who taught me to fish, not just providing me with fish and a loaf of bread. He taught me to work hard at working smart and then I don't have to work hard, just smart.
Now that I'm married to a good man, who happens to be a doctor, I consider myself to be a WHB-Woman Handling Business-but, people automatically assume that I'm being taken care of. Was I not fly BEFORE I got married? HELLO, what do you think attracted him? Why do you think his mother loves me? Because she knows I'm not after her son's money since I have my own. Did I not have this fur coat BEFORE I even started dating him? Let me get this straight, MY car gets smashed and HE gets a new one, giving me his old car? Does that make any sense? Please, don't get it twisted, we are comfortable now because I worked hard at providing stability for myself BEFORE we got married and while he was in medical school. Yes, two incomes does help. But, if it had not been for MY hard work and, let's not forget, money, our standard of living would not be where it is today. My husband is very humble and does not take any credit for things that he is not responsible. It just bothers me that he has to make the disclaimer, "Naw, she did that." No ghost production with him. :-)

But I AM a Christian!

So, my husband and I are sitting in church and in walks a person who looks to be a vagabond of sorts, we'll just call him John. You know, wearing multiple layers, inappropriately dressed for the warm weather, clothing kind of unkempt, and dingy looking. However, we see a few people shake his hand and hug him, so we figure he must be a new member or something. On top of that, he has a Sprint Instinct mobile phone. Yeah, it was kind of weird that he was taking pictures of the service with his mobile device, but hey, different strokes for different folks. He was doing other weird things throughout service that my husband and I were making fun of, not that we were singling John out. We make fun of everyone!
A part of ministry in my church is making sure people who don't have transportation get a ride home after service. The person who needs a ride fills out a card that says where they are going and someone in the congregation, who is going in that way, will volunteer to give them a ride. Since my church is on the east side of town and we live on the west side of town, there is hardly ever an instance when I give someone a ride because I am hardly ever "going that way." Well, my husband, being the comedian that he is, whispers to me, "Whoever is going to the west side, we're taking them." We both laugh and think that God knows our heart. Then, at the last minute, what do you know...John raises his hand and says he's going to an intersection that's right around the corner from us. I am cracking up, on the inside, as my husband raises his hand to take John home. Since we couldn't "discuss" the matter in church and right after church, John would be with us, we engage in a text message convo. It went as follows:
Hubby: I'm fixin 2 go put the valuables in da trunk
Me: LOL! I'll ride in the back so you can keep an eye on him
Hubby: I agree, I'm gonna go get some plastic seat covers
After service, I see John while my husband pulls the car around. I introduce myself, shake his hand and when my husband arrives, he shakes John's hand also. John gets in the front and we start riding toward the area John said he was going. He was pretty quiet. It was kind of warm outside and in the car as well. We all know that heat makes bad odors smell worse. We'll just say that John wasn't the most pleasant smelling person in the car. We ride and ride, and finally, John directs us to a location that is no where near what he said in church, but still on our side of town. He tells us to turn and says, "You can drop me off right here." My husband gets out to shake his hand as he leaves. We watch John as he walks toward the indicated house, then walks past it, so we pull off in order to avoid embarrassing John because it was obvious he didn't live at that house. We conclude that John was homeless or was embarrassed of where he was staying.
As soon as we turn the corner, my husband is looking around the car frantically.
Me: What are you looking for?!?!
Hubby: Hand sanitizer! Quick!
I pass him the anti-bacterial wipes and scold him for acting like that as I wipe my hands and instructed him to wipe the steering wheel.
We laughed about the situation but it got me thinking, as Christians, we shouldn't judge but it's human nature to do so. We assumed that John was homeless or, a better description, dirty because of our "judgement" of the situation. In turn, we reacted to touching him as if we could possibly contract some disease from shaking John's hand. My husband and I are not the only people who think this way. Some "Christians" wouldn't have even offered John a ride. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. We are all children of God. We should treat the "vagabond" the same way we treat our co-workers, Jesus did.

Do I Care?

Recently, a growing number of people in my family have expressed concern about one particular family member's health. I'm just gonna keep it real, the girl is getting fat. We're talking she is 5'9" and used to weigh 125 lbs, but now she is probably close to clearing 200 lbs. Now, we all gain weight as we get up in age but when you can't find a nice dress in your size, you are constantly shoveling food in your face, throwing temper tantrums like a 5 year old child when you think someone is going to take the last serving of your favorite desert, there is a problem. We all talk about it, we watch her in action and shake our heads in disgust. But no one will say anything to her because of her fragile mental state. She's easily offended and proclaims to be happy with her weight in one breath and then talks about how she lost 8 lbs. over the last 2 weeks in the next.
When my beloved overweight family member asks me to make her some more banana pudding after she ate the ENTIRE 6 servings within 24 hours the last time I gave her some, do I brush her off? Do I explain why I REFUSE to contribute to her problem when she doesn't think she has a problem? Do I try to get her to see that there is a problem? Or do I make it and let her eat herself into an oblivion?
The problem is she has some serious health issues and I don't think being overweight is helping them at all. She claims the doctor says she is a normal weight for her height but, to me, all of that jiggle and flab CANNOT be normal.
My mother used to tell me that people who care about you may tell you something that you don't want to hear but they are telling you for your own good so you can improve yourself. I live by that motto. If I said something out of the way, let me know. If I wore something inappropriate, let me know. But when the person you care about is EXTREMELY sensitive, do you still tell them something they don't want to hear? When you hear people talking about her all the time, does she need to know?
The question I ask is do I REALLY care about her if I don't say something in order to spare her feelings or should I expect her to understand that love hurts and I am only hurting her feelings temporarily so that she can better herself?

On the Commuter Train

Commuting to work can be very interesting on the MARC train Penn Line. I have taken on the hobby of people watching instead of reading in order to pass the time on the train. While watching random people and their actions, it causes me to ask myself, "Is this normal?"

1. Extremely pronounced arm swinging while walking at a fast pace. Does this make you walk faster? Or does walking fast cause this?
2. Pocket protectors attached to your belt. WTH?!?!
3. Waking someone up to ask if the seat next to them is taken. Does the pashmina over my head and earphones in my ear not communicate clearly that I don't want to be bothered? Do you not see the lunch bag, purse, AND shopping bag in the seat, indicating it belongs to someone who only left to go to the restroom? Do you NOT see the other 4 people sitting in this section? Couldn't you have asked one of them?
4. Cutting someone off only to stop in front of them on the escalator. Everyone is in a rush to get home or to work, please keep it moving or step behind people who are moving.
5. Overweight people. I don't want to sit next to one, as they ALWAYS spill over in to the seat next to them. They impede my commute time by walking slowly in front of me and I can't get around them. They stand on the down escalator. Please, PLEASE, do us all a favor and walk down the escalator. It can't POSSIBLY take THAT much energy.
6. Eating chips, candy, and other finger foods after touching all of the hand rails and buttons on public transportation. All I have to say is, EEEEEWWWWW!!!!
7. Crowding around the exit in order to be the first person to exit the train. Is the 30 seconds saved by doing that REALLY going to make a big difference? Do you think I, who have a seat by the door, want to look at your crotch or butt?
8. Loud cell phone conversations about personal business. Nuff said!
9. Loud conversations, period. Do you see all of the people with their eyes closed? Do you really think they want to hear you gab on about your kids, your day at work, your hairdresser, your plans for the weekend, etc? Please keep conversations between you and the other person involved, the whole train doesn't need to hear it.
10. Smells....the good, the bad, and the ugly. Do you think it is necessary to smell up 8 square feet surrounding you? If you leave car parked all day and smell your cologne/perfume when you return to it in the evening, you MIGHT be putting on too much. How do you think your fellow commuter train patrons feel? How do you think your co-workers feel? Please consider showering within 10 hours of boarding the commuter train-some people prefer to shower at night instead of in the morning. Body odor is unacceptable after the age of 7.

In general, I enjoy my commute on the MARC train. I can focus on anything I want to BESIDES driving. The pashmina over my head and headphones generally block out any nuisances, with the exception listed in #3. I know I'll have to do it for at least a year, so I'll just find the humor in all of the people watching I can do.

Knock Knock

It's funny how God has a way of getting your attention. You know, He sends little hints or unavoidable gestures to tell you something when you have been out of communication with Him or you have gotten a little bit out of hand. To avoid a knock out blow, please take heed to the hints and gestures. When we do that, it can only result in the best for us, which is what He wants anyway.

God's Providential Hand

As I reflect on the most recent chain of events in my life, I can't help but see God manifesting Himself in it and I can't help but thank Him as profusely as I laugh at the people who try to steal my joy. Most recently, God has put me in several situations that tested how deeply instilled His ways are in me.
I have had to ask myself, "What would Jesus do?" when I was treated unfairly and had to make a decision as to whether or not I was going to act as ignorant and inconsiderate as the wrong doer or flip my hair "Fancy-style" and do the right thing with a smile as I have been raised to do. I have selflessly given to people in need without thinking twice about it even though I didn't think I could really afford to do it. Something that I viewed as a tragedy has turned out to be what I think is a blessing.
While I like nice things, I do not hoard and hold fast to corruptible things, like money. If I have it and someone I care about needs it, it's theirs, no questions asked. My husband and I decided not to stoop to our wrong doer's level and do the mature thing. Since then, an unbelievable deal on something I really wanted has fallen into my lap and things have been working out for my investments.
So, the moral of the story is, your mother was right and so is your Bible. When your hand is open to give, it is also open to receive. You are blessed so that you can be a blessing. Do what is Godly in all situations, no matter how badly you don't want to. Revenge is the Lord's. God has a wonderful plan for your life, enjoy!