....A Year Later

So after a much needed 6 week break from work and all things responsible, I hit the ground running. I passed my exam, so now I am a certified Specialist in Blood Banking, I started teaching Blood Banking to unappreciative, know-it-all adults and traditional college students, and I got a full-time gig. It definitely wasn't my dream job or ideal schedule but the pay was within what I expected after acquiring so many degrees and certifications in my short 29 years of life.
Notice I describe the full-time gig in past tense. Yup! You guessed it, I didn't last long there. After a few run-ins with my insecure, intimidated by younger, smarter, more ambitious employees supervisor, I got the hell outta there in less than a year. I THINK I was there for like 8 months. After a severe confrontation, that resulted in a round table with the company's "Problem Management" department, I didn't do any work for the rest of that day. What did I do? I went job hunting online, found a gig, filled out the application, and got a call the next day to schedule the interview. I went into the interview with no experience, just my dazzling personality and impressive resume. We finished up at 10:30am, they were offering me the job at 2pm, $2k less than my desired salary but I was ready to get away from that hell hole and crazy supervisor. So NOW, I have my dream job with an ideal schedule. Patience is a virtue. I only had to wait 8 months.
Then my doctor husband decided he needed a break. *sigh* It's a never ending cycle. I couldn't get mad though. Residency really wore him out. I don't think I would've been able to work 80-100 hours/week for 3 years straight and still function. So, he took a hiatus while he studied for his $6000 worth of exams he had to take post-residency.
My husband's break from work brought us closer than we EVER were. I mean, we've been together since 2003, but with school and all the other crap we were doing, we were only boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife on the weekends. It was great to have him gain a new appreciation for household chores, running errands, and family time.
And just like that, all good things must come to an end. Plus, we were getting REALLY broke since we had to buy this big, ole, dumb house in the interim of breaks from work. Needless, to say Dr. McLovin started working after a 6 MONTH break. I must really love him, but he deserved it.
Now, we are blessed to both have our dream job and on the path to starting a family. Well, no family just yet. First...we 'bout to ball outta control this year! Yeah, I said. We gonna be irresponsible, buy stuff we don't need, go everywhere, eat out every night. You know, do all the stuff we couldn't do a year ago, all while hollering "Hood rich!" LOL!
I will be chronicling the "Adventures of Fancy and Jizzle" right here. Stay tuned...

Taking A Break

As I near the end of one chapter of my life, I think about what my next move will be. Considering, my current job/schooling, which is one in the same, will be completed on July 8, 2009. Which basically means, I have to find a new job.
I decided to apply for this program because I wanted to have all of the tools I need to advance my career. Keeping that in mind, I took a $30,000 pay cut in order to embark on this endeavor. That in itself has been a struggle, as well as adjusting to a 1.5 hour/one way commute, getting my husband to share in household duties, study, learn the ropes in a new environment, etc., etc. Needless to say, the past 10 months have been trying but everyone says, "It's worth it. You'll have your SBB in the end." I smile, but in the back of my head I think, "What is the point of being a specialist if you can't find a freakin' job that utilizes your skills?!?!?"
Sadly, the deteriorating economy has had this devastating ripple affect that impacts ALL areas, including the job security we thought we had with health care. Why is that? Well, as people lose their jobs, they also lose their health insurance, which means they are less likely to come to the hospital because they cannot afford to pay out of pocket for treatment. So, hospitals lose money, they lay employees off, have hiring freezes, and do not fill vacant positions because it's cheaper for them to pay over time to current employees as opposed to hire someone to fill in.
How is that affecting me as a blood bank specialist with a Master's degree? Tremendously! I am over qualified for the positions that are available, meaning I would have to settle for a position that would not compensate me for my wealth of knowledge and value to any work environment. On top of that, I may have to work an off shift, like night shift or evening shift, which I vowed on May 1, 2008 that I would NEVER do again. I've worked too hard and have too much to offer to have to settle. Is it too much to ask for a day shift position with no holiday or weekend obligation at any local health care organization? Probably. LOL!
So, I've decided I will take a break. What? I deserve it. I've worked hard and I've been paying into unemployment since the tender age of 16. I think it's only fair to collect some of what is mine anyway. I know, unemployment will only last me for but so long. So, I plan to collect unemployment for about 2 months, after which I will apply for positions at my neighborhood fast food restaurants. This will allow me to continue my "break", while still having some income that does not require me to be responsible and accountable. I think it will be fun to work with the local teenagers and underachievers for a while. I hope to learn from them or at least acquire some motivation to "settle" for those positions that I currently look down on.
As a borderline OCD Virgo, I always have to have a plan. I need to know what my next move is. I have faith that God has a plan for me, but since it has not been revealed to me as of yet, this is my plan. LOL!


Disclaimer: This is a joke...kind of.

Things No One Tells You About Being Married

So, you've found THAT guy. He rocks your world, treats you like a queen, and exemplifies everything you THINK you want in a man and a husband. He sets up the most romantic proposal you've ever heard of. Your wedding was a fairytale. You were a good girl, so upon returning from your Caribbean honeymoon you FINALLY move in together. Then, it hits the wall. What do I mean "hit the wall"? The honeymoon comes to a screeching halt because of things you had no idea would bother you. Let me point them out:

1. The accumulation of pubic hairs in the bathroom will not bother him, while it totally grosses you out.

2. He won't understand why you have to make the bed when you're just gonna get back in it.

3. No matter what they say, he expects you to cook and clean even though you have to go to work too.

4. No matter how long he's lived on his own, he does NOT keep house the way you do.

5. He doesn't understand why things should be put away because it's easier to find it when it's in the floor.

6. You will argue about money. How you spend it, how he spends it, a budget if you're low on it, what to do with the extra....on and on and on.

7. You will argue about sex. What turns you on and off. He'll, almost inevitably, say that you aren't having it enough and complain about your scarf and night clothes.

8. Related to #6, figuring how WHO will manage the bills and how to manage the bills will be a nuisance.

9. His video game playing habits, while once cute, will really annoy you. Especially, when you are trying to get his attention or want to have a serious talk.

10. What's important to you is not necessarily a priority to him.
This list could go on and on, depending on you and your spouse. No relationship is perfect but it can be perfect for you if you learn how to deal with your spouse's quirks. It will take time. You WILL argue but be patient and make sure you are communicating with each other. Your marriage is what you make it. Enjoy!

Random Things About Me

There has been a "chain-letter" of sorts going around on Facebook. I thought it was fun, so I decided to post a list of random things on my blog. I won't number them since I have a lot. Tee hee.

• My favorite color is green, not just because it's my maiden name but because I really like it.
• I hate bras. I prefer to wear a camisole with support.
• I just recently learned how to help people see me for the nice, fun person that I really am. People used to think I was mean.
• I cheated on every boyfriend I ever had, until I started dating my husband.
• I like nice things, but I'm cheap. My husband bought me most of my big ticket items. If I bought it, it was only after hearing his infamous "You're gonna be killin' 'em with this hotness" speech.
• My husband is my personal stylist. I don't feel comfortable going out without his approval of my ensemble...if he didn't pick it out.
• I can cook, although most people assume because I'm pretty and spoiled, I can't.
• I don't like ketchup.
• I used to think I was Aaliyah, now I think I'm Beyonce'.
• I want children but I'm scared to get pregnant and have to push them out.
• I like working out but I hate sweating.
• I'm insecure about my hands and feet so I visit my local spa weekly for a mani/pedi.
• It makes me nervous that I am becoming more like my mother as I get older.
• I sometimes wish that I was a musician.....yes, even if it is a starving one.
• I'm very independent but I like to feel safe and taken care of.
• It hurts my feelings that my half-sister doesn't really like me because of things her mother told her.
• Sometimes I cry, in private, because I can't believe how blessed I am. Even after all of the crappy stuff I've done.
• I have a big secret that I've kept from my husband. I'm not sure how, when, or even if I'm going to tell him.
• I think highly of myself but I am sometimes shocked to hear that other people think highly of me too.
• My husband drives me nuts!!! But, I miss him when he's not around.
• I talk too much when I've been drinking.
• I get REALLY hot when I sleep, but I can't sleep unless I have covers on me.
• I color coordinate my towels and rotate them in the linen closet after they've been washed as to prevent preferential usage leading to unequal fading among the set. I know, that's my one OCD behavior.
• My pastor told me that I have the gift of influence, but I don't know how to use it.

Ms. Independent, so they say...

Being an "Independent Woman" has become all the new rage now. Everybody is rapping, singing, and talking about how they want a woman who has her own and can do for herself. But do they really? I don't think so. I think they want a woman who has their back if things get tight but REALLY, they want a woman to "play her position" when it's convenient. You know smile and be a trophy in public, while handling all the behind the scenes work without getting any credit. I think they call that "ghost production." LOL!
I pose this question because as an "Independent Woman"-in quotations because I am now married-my life experiences have led me to believe otherwise. Why do I say this? As the judgemental beings we are, most of the time when we see a beautiful woman who is dressed nice, carries herself well, drives a nice car, and appears to have a little bit of stability-money in the bank-they automatically assume that a man is doing it for her, or at least contributing. It's a complete "ghost production" if she's wearing an engagement ring and/or wedding band.
Before I was married, I purchased my own home without any help from a man, I purchased my own car without any help from a man, and I supported my own spa and shopping habits, once again, without any help from a man. But to my surprise, men that I dated would enter my home, and the first question they'd ask was, "You live here by yourself?" I'd simply smile but be thinking "WTF?!?!?". They thought that offering me money for bills or shopping was all I required, instead of time and attention.
Don't get me wrong, my father, a man, was there to help during my journey to independence but he was a man who taught me to fish, not just providing me with fish and a loaf of bread. He taught me to work hard at working smart and then I don't have to work hard, just smart.
Now that I'm married to a good man, who happens to be a doctor, I consider myself to be a WHB-Woman Handling Business-but, people automatically assume that I'm being taken care of. Was I not fly BEFORE I got married? HELLO, what do you think attracted him? Why do you think his mother loves me? Because she knows I'm not after her son's money since I have my own. Did I not have this fur coat BEFORE I even started dating him? Let me get this straight, MY car gets smashed and HE gets a new one, giving me his old car? Does that make any sense? Please, don't get it twisted, we are comfortable now because I worked hard at providing stability for myself BEFORE we got married and while he was in medical school. Yes, two incomes does help. But, if it had not been for MY hard work and, let's not forget, money, our standard of living would not be where it is today. My husband is very humble and does not take any credit for things that he is not responsible. It just bothers me that he has to make the disclaimer, "Naw, she did that." No ghost production with him. :-)

But I AM a Christian!

So, my husband and I are sitting in church and in walks a person who looks to be a vagabond of sorts, we'll just call him John. You know, wearing multiple layers, inappropriately dressed for the warm weather, clothing kind of unkempt, and dingy looking. However, we see a few people shake his hand and hug him, so we figure he must be a new member or something. On top of that, he has a Sprint Instinct mobile phone. Yeah, it was kind of weird that he was taking pictures of the service with his mobile device, but hey, different strokes for different folks. He was doing other weird things throughout service that my husband and I were making fun of, not that we were singling John out. We make fun of everyone!
A part of ministry in my church is making sure people who don't have transportation get a ride home after service. The person who needs a ride fills out a card that says where they are going and someone in the congregation, who is going in that way, will volunteer to give them a ride. Since my church is on the east side of town and we live on the west side of town, there is hardly ever an instance when I give someone a ride because I am hardly ever "going that way." Well, my husband, being the comedian that he is, whispers to me, "Whoever is going to the west side, we're taking them." We both laugh and think that God knows our heart. Then, at the last minute, what do you know...John raises his hand and says he's going to an intersection that's right around the corner from us. I am cracking up, on the inside, as my husband raises his hand to take John home. Since we couldn't "discuss" the matter in church and right after church, John would be with us, we engage in a text message convo. It went as follows:
Hubby: I'm fixin 2 go put the valuables in da trunk
Me: LOL! I'll ride in the back so you can keep an eye on him
Hubby: I agree, I'm gonna go get some plastic seat covers
After service, I see John while my husband pulls the car around. I introduce myself, shake his hand and when my husband arrives, he shakes John's hand also. John gets in the front and we start riding toward the area John said he was going. He was pretty quiet. It was kind of warm outside and in the car as well. We all know that heat makes bad odors smell worse. We'll just say that John wasn't the most pleasant smelling person in the car. We ride and ride, and finally, John directs us to a location that is no where near what he said in church, but still on our side of town. He tells us to turn and says, "You can drop me off right here." My husband gets out to shake his hand as he leaves. We watch John as he walks toward the indicated house, then walks past it, so we pull off in order to avoid embarrassing John because it was obvious he didn't live at that house. We conclude that John was homeless or was embarrassed of where he was staying.
As soon as we turn the corner, my husband is looking around the car frantically.
Me: What are you looking for?!?!
Hubby: Hand sanitizer! Quick!
I pass him the anti-bacterial wipes and scold him for acting like that as I wipe my hands and instructed him to wipe the steering wheel.
We laughed about the situation but it got me thinking, as Christians, we shouldn't judge but it's human nature to do so. We assumed that John was homeless or, a better description, dirty because of our "judgement" of the situation. In turn, we reacted to touching him as if we could possibly contract some disease from shaking John's hand. My husband and I are not the only people who think this way. Some "Christians" wouldn't have even offered John a ride. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. We are all children of God. We should treat the "vagabond" the same way we treat our co-workers, Jesus did.

Do I Care?

Recently, a growing number of people in my family have expressed concern about one particular family member's health. I'm just gonna keep it real, the girl is getting fat. We're talking she is 5'9" and used to weigh 125 lbs, but now she is probably close to clearing 200 lbs. Now, we all gain weight as we get up in age but when you can't find a nice dress in your size, you are constantly shoveling food in your face, throwing temper tantrums like a 5 year old child when you think someone is going to take the last serving of your favorite desert, there is a problem. We all talk about it, we watch her in action and shake our heads in disgust. But no one will say anything to her because of her fragile mental state. She's easily offended and proclaims to be happy with her weight in one breath and then talks about how she lost 8 lbs. over the last 2 weeks in the next.
When my beloved overweight family member asks me to make her some more banana pudding after she ate the ENTIRE 6 servings within 24 hours the last time I gave her some, do I brush her off? Do I explain why I REFUSE to contribute to her problem when she doesn't think she has a problem? Do I try to get her to see that there is a problem? Or do I make it and let her eat herself into an oblivion?
The problem is she has some serious health issues and I don't think being overweight is helping them at all. She claims the doctor says she is a normal weight for her height but, to me, all of that jiggle and flab CANNOT be normal.
My mother used to tell me that people who care about you may tell you something that you don't want to hear but they are telling you for your own good so you can improve yourself. I live by that motto. If I said something out of the way, let me know. If I wore something inappropriate, let me know. But when the person you care about is EXTREMELY sensitive, do you still tell them something they don't want to hear? When you hear people talking about her all the time, does she need to know?
The question I ask is do I REALLY care about her if I don't say something in order to spare her feelings or should I expect her to understand that love hurts and I am only hurting her feelings temporarily so that she can better herself?